What is a Colorado skier's mantra?
A. There's snow place like home!
How many Colorado ski bums does it take to change a light
A. None. Ski bums don't screw in light bulbs; they screw
in hot tubs!
Why did the successful Downtown Denver stock broker ski
A. He wanted to meet up with Colorado's biggest moguls.
What do hotdog Colorado natives call a very slow skier?
A. A slope-poke.
What do fashionable Coloradans call heels on ski boots?
A. Ski lifts.
What did the native Colorado skiier say when his standup
act was going downhill fast?
A. There snow possible way these puns
could be more painful.
What do residents of Breckenridge, Colorado sing in December?
A. 'Tis the season to ski jolly.
What do Coloradans say about tubing down the Chutes near
A. What a rush!
How do Colorado natives tell if a used car has been in a
recent hail storm?
A. Just look for the evi-dents.
What did the Colorado hail storm say to the roof?
A. Hang onto your shingles 'cause this ain't no ordinary
Colorado, if you don't get hit by lightning or hail, you
might as well just go along with the flow.
Why did the hens stay indoors during the hellacious Colorado
A. Because it was fowl weather.
Why did Mike Nelson name the Channel 7 meteorologist's bowling
A. Because they get so many strikes.
What did the Denver duck do after he read all these Painful
Puns about Colorado's funny weather?
A. He quacked up!
Why are these Colorado Native jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A. How can it be a joke, if nobody is laughing?
What do Coloradans call a spud on a small raft going down
the Chutes on the South Platte River near Decker, Colorado?
A. An inner tuber.
Why are Colorado mountains so funny?
A. Because they're so high!
What do Colorado locals call the guy who misplaced the sweet
gooey treats on the camping trip?
A. A s'more loser!
What is a Colorado native's definition of derange?
A. Where de cowboys ride wild.
might be from Colorado if toward the mountains and away
from the mountains are legit directions.
Who is haunting the KFC near Littleton Cemetery?
A. Locals know it's actually cannibal Alferd Packer because
he just doesn't have a taste for chicken meat.
What is the definition of a terminal Rocky Mountain illness?
A. When you get sick at Denver International Airport.
Why don't Colorado natives ever pee in Clear Creek near
A. 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed.
After returning to Colorado, who wrote the classic High
Country book, Comin' Round the Mountain?
A. Shell B. Bach.