Pot of salsa says: You might be from Colorado if you know the names of all the hot peppers and can eat them without hurting yourself!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Which Colorado14-er should you climb is you can't make a decision? Quandary Peak!
After Colorado legalized cannabis, my grandpa asked me to download Rocky Mountain High!
Q. What do you call rude Canada geese? A. In Colorado, you know better than to call a goose!
Q. Why is Denver known as the Mile High City? A. Um, what was the question , again?
Local news reported a crocodile was found in Denver! But nobody was surprised because the forecast predicted a cold snap!


Colorado Jokes, Rocky Puns, Coloradan Humor
You might be from Colorado jokes, crazy Coloradan humor, and colorful Rocky Mountain puns.

Colorado Native Jokes and High Country Humor
(Because Rocky Mountain Oyster Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If You're From Colorado and Vegan!)
Warning: Tour with Caution! Colorful Colorado local jokes, mile high humor below, and hopped up puns above?
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism Jokes | Mountain Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |
| Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons | Mile High Club |
| Denver Jokes | Colorado Sports | Skier Jokes | Go Broncos! | Hiking Jokes | Colorado Weather |

You might be from Colorado if you highly recomment the Rocky Mountain Oysters to your visiting in-laws!You might be from Colorado if you joined the "Two-Mile High Club" at the summit of Pike's Peak!You might be from Colorado if you have a rocky sense of humor!

Q. What did the Colorado cattleman name his prize-winning steer?
A. Chuck.

Q. Why are steaks so happy at Denver barbeques?
A. They get to meet all their old flames.

Q. Why did the Colorado beef herd return to the cannabis field?
A. It was a classic case of the pot calling the cattle back. Plus, the steaks have never been higher!

Did you hear about the Colorado geologist? He took his wife for granite, so she left him.

Colorado Factoid: Getting to the top of the mountain is great fun, but it's all downhill from there.

Did you hear about the blonde camper who slept like a log? She woke up in the campfire...

Q. What is the hot new slogan of the Aurora Notel on E Colfax?
A. You've Rented the Room, Now Buy the Video!

Q. How did the pilot at Front Range Airport refer to the Mile High Club?
A. Touring the cockpit!

Q. Why wasn't the Colorado brew chemist convicted on hopped up charges?
A. The jury wasn't convinced beyond a shadow of a stout.

Q. What do you call a fantasy piece written by an author while at a Colorado brew pub?
A. An hoptical allusion.

A soccer ball walks into a Denver brew pub, but the beer tender kicked him out.

Q. Which craft beer does the Denver LGBTQ community embrace?
A. Malt-ernative Life Style Ale.

You might be from Colorado if you eat ice cream during the winter!You might be from Colorado if a bear on your front porch doesn't bother you!You might be from Denver if you can remember woodsies at Daniel's Park!

Q. Why do Goldfish crackers smile at Coloradans?
A. Because they're baked, too!

One Colorado pot plant to another: Hey Bud, are you hungry?
Second pot plant: Sure, I could use a light snack.

Colorado Stoner Munchies Pick-Up Line: Hey, wanna eat cookie dough together sometime?

Pothead: This food tastes kind of funny.
LoDo Waiter: Then why aren't you laughing?

Q. What is the official flower of I25 through Colorado?
A. The concrete cloverleaf columbine.

Q. What do you call a group of Colorado bruins that are cracking each other up?
A. A bear-all of laughs.

Q. What did the bartender say after the beaver walked into his S. Platte River bar?
A. Please shut the dam door!

Q. What do Colorado snowshoers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
A. Polaroids!

Q. Why don't Native Denverites drink Flat Tire beer?
A. Why tempt fate or dare the devil?

Denver Brew Pub Pick-Up Line: Girl, this isn't a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for my love machine.

Q. Which Colorado craft beer do van-driving retro guys in Morrison drink?
A. Brown Eyed Ale.

Colorado Craft Beer Point to Ponder: Why doesn't the Denver Post have more Hop-Ed pieces?

Q. Which Boulder craft beer is the most popular at CU?
A. Barley Legal Ale.

Q. What is it called if you drink tequila inside The Cave of The Winds?
A. A shot in the dark.

Q. If Dr. Seuss visited a Denver brew pub, which beer would he order?
A. Hop on Pop!

You might be from Colorado if Bigfoot Saw YOU!You might be from Colordo if you actually know South Park is a real place and not just a TV show!You might be from Colorado if it snows two feet and you don't expect school to be canceled!

Q. Why did Mt. Everest Yetis visit Pike's Peak and then gamble in Cripple Creek, Colorado?
A. T-Bet on Bigfoot sightings.

Sasquatch Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby, you must be from my future in Colorado because you're turning me into Homo Erectus!

Q. Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike along the South Platte River near Deckers, Colorado?
A. In a big footlocker.

Q. What is the real reason the historic Pike's Peak Cog Railway was shut down?
A. It was too expensive to make up cover stories about all the Bigfoot sightings!

You might be a Colorado native if you can drive to South Park without using GPS or any alien assistance. You are definitely a Colorado native if you can get back to Denver via Woodland Park without using a map or GPS!

Local Colorado Gossip of the Day: Did you hear about the kidnapping on Pike's Peak? It's okay – he woke up!

Q. Why does the Denver TV weatherman prefer Colorado craft beer?
A. Because his head is in the cloud.

Q. How do Colorado Blue Spruces access the Internet?
A. They log in!

Q. Why aren't Bigfoots sighted in Georgetown, Colorado?
A. Too much competition with Big Horn Sheep.

Q. What condition did the gosling suffer from when the Colorado weather turned cold?
A. Goose bumps.

Q. How do you keep your feet warm during a Colorado snow storm?
A. Don't go out brrr-footed!

Q. Why did the Denver 16th Street Mall cop arrest the off-key street musician with no rhythm?
A. Because he was a beat cop.

You might be from Denver if you think of Tom Shane as a local folk hero!You might be from Colorado if you carry your $3000 bike on top of your $500 car!You might be from Colorado if you scene Sasquatch!

Blonde: My son came here to Denver on his summer vacation.
Friend: Did you meet him at DIA?
Blonde: No, I've known him his whole life.

Q. Where can you get a scary good hair cut in Estes Park, Colorado?
A. At Hair's Johnny Salon in the Stanley Hotel.

Q. What do Estes Park residents call a hooker standing out on top of Trail Ridge road in January?
A. Hoar.

Q. How do you know when a Colorado ski instructor walks into the bar?
A. Don't worry, he'll tell you.

Q. Which pedal do rooster racecar drivers at Bandimere Speedway favor?
A. The egg-celerator.

Q. What is a treefer, and is that better than a two-fer?
A. Both are Colorado happy hour goodies, and you be the judge...

Q. If a blonde camper in Pike National Forest has three tents in one hand and six sleeping bags in the other, what does she have?
A. Big hands. Duh!

Q. What do Coloradans call a doctor who lives at a tent-filled mountain resort to treat visitor's afflictions?
A. A camp-pain manager.

Q. Why are there so many more Bigfoot sightings in the Denver foothills lately?
A. Because Squatches moved here, just like everybody else!

Q. What do local stoners always take along on Colorado Bigfoot hunting trips?
A. High-powered night vision cameras.

Q. Why does Denver have such a wide demographic range of ages that consume legal marijuana?
A. I25 and I70.

(By the way, I25 through Denver has always been called The Valley Highway! So, DON'T MOVE HERE NOW and legislate to RENAME IT, dickweeds!)

| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Nightlife LOLs | Denver Cop Jokes | Denver Dog Puns | Rocky Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns |
| Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cuisine and Munchies Jokes | Colorado Chile Pepper Puns |
| Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Denver Humor | Legal Weed Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes |
| Water LOLs | Colorado Weather Jokes | Cool Weather | 2 | Winter Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons |
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver Puns | 2 | 3 |

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