you hear about the blonde hipster who wore a jacket in Grand
Junction, Colorado during summer, before it was cool? EMTs
took her to the ER due to heat exhaustion.
If a hipster hiker trips and falls in the forest surrounding
Evergreen, Colorado, does he make a sound?
A. Yes, but you won't likely hear of it.
What do you call a Denver Mint employee who sky dives on
A. Penny from heaven.
When does it rain money in Colorado?
A. When there's a change in the weather.
What's the difference between a vampire with a toothache
and a Colorado thunderstorm?
A. One roars in pain. The other pours in rain.
Do old Colorado white water river rafting guides ever die?
A. No, they just go with the flow.
How can you tell if a rural Colorado chicken is a survivalist?
A. She lays pickled eggs.
Colorado forest rangers never die; they just pine away.
When Colorado Santa's not wearing red, what is his favorite
A. Ganja Green.
What was the name of Rudolph's lesser-known stoner brother
who wintered in Colorado?
A. Ricky, the red-eyed reindeer.
What did the beaver say before cutting down a Colorado Blue
Spruce Christmas tree?
A. Nice gnawing yew!
Why did the Colorado snowman visit an orthodontist?
A. To correct his frostbite!
Why did the Colorado pothead leave milk and edible cookies
out on 420 eve?
A. For Willie Nelson.
What did one Colorado snowflake say to the other during
A. Two's company. Three's a cloud.
Which freak was the most famous citizen of Fruita, Colorado
for 18 months?
A. Miracle Mike, the headless rooster.
Why don't old Colorado hippies ever die?
A. Because they just go to pot.
Why do the Denver Broncos have two mascots, Thunder and
A. To distract the fans from any horsing around during the
you notice after Colorado legalized marijuana, nobody knows
the name of the Broncos stadium?
What happened to the Colorado cow that was lifted into a
A. Udder disaster, not alien mutilations – this time...
What condition did the gosling suffer from when the Colorado
weather turned cold?
A. Goose bumps.
Where are habitual criminal pigs in Colorado sent?
A. To the State Pen.
Which Colorado Painful
Puns do pigs enjoy the most?
A. The corniest ones!
Why shouldn't you ever pee in Clear Creek near Golden, Colorado?
A. 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed.
Colorado white water rafters never die, they just get disgorged.