Why did the Olathe Police Department arrest the sweet corn?
A. For stalking.
What is an Olathe policeman's favorite summer vegetable?
A. Corn on the cop.
Why do retired Denver cops refer to themselves at the barbershop
as ex law enforcement?
A. Mustache you ask?
Police Sketch Artist Groan of the Day: A naked woman robbed
a bank during a power outage. So, nobody at the bank could
remember her face.
What happened to the guy who tried to rob the Southglen
branch of Bank of the West wearing underwear as a mask?
A. Centennial cops arrested him after a quick debriefing.
Why did the Englewood Police arrest the guy who was playing
pool at the diive bar on S Broadway?
A. He was picking pockets.
Why didn't the goose in Denver think he'd be a suspect in
the Wash Park crime?
A. 'Cause he thinks his shit don't stink.
Why was the Denver criminal dubbed the Beer Runner
let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
A. 'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
What did the Ft. Collins potheads say when they saw red
flashing lights up the street?
A. Dude, let's blow this joint!
Why was the lid arrested?
A. It wasn't in Colorado.
Who do Summit County locksmiths call for comic relief?
A. The Keystone Cops.
What happened when the big rig full of toilet paper crashed
at the intersection of Broadway and Colfax in downtown Denver?
A. DPD expects the scene to be backed up for quite
Why didn't the bald eagle on top of Pike's Peak think he'd
be a suspect in the Cripple Creek crime?
A. Because he was above suspicion.
Why are the Brighton Police desperately searching for a
thief who threatens people with a lit match?
A. They want to catch him before he strikes again.
you hear about the Boulder backyard chicken farmer who died
mysteriously? Investigators suspect fowl play...
How can Coloradans tell if a fugitive chicken flew the coop?
A. She's still wearing hen-cuffs!
Who is haunting the KFC near Littleton Cemetery?
A. Littleton Police claim it's actually cannibal Alferd
Packer because he just doesn’t have a taste for chicken
Why didn't the burglar break into the Denver Library on
A. He was afraid if he got caught, he'd get a really long
Police report that there have been a lot of thefts at the
local bowling alley and warn that the criminals are likely
to strike again.
Why did that Vail area beaver go to jail?
A. He held up the dammed riverbank.
the Denver Mint, a publicity-seeking criminal said he swallowed
a large amount of counterfeit coins to avoid being caught
with them. It turned out, he was really full of non-cents.