Sasquatch Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby, you must be from my future in Colorado because you're turning me into Homo Erectus!

Q. What did Sasquatch in South Park say to his psychiatrist?
A. I feel abominable.

Q. Why did Lady Bigfoot in Colorado Springs call off her engagement to The Invisible Man in Manitou Springs?
A. Nobody would see their wedding!

Q. Why is it so hard to find a Denver hipster's dog's bone?
A. Because it buried so far underground.

Q. What is a sure sign that Rover got into the dessert at Ugly Dog Sports Cafe in Denver?
A. Pudding on the Spitz.

Q. Why is it always so cool at the Denver Broncos stadium?
A. Because no matter how bad the game is going, the fans don't leave until the clock runs out.

Q. What do Broncos fans say when the team fumbles?
A. Stop horsing around!

Q. Why can't Broncos dance?
A. Because they have two left feet!

Q. How does a Colorado Rockies fan make a peanut at Coors Field laugh?
A. Crack it up!

Q. Why did the green light turn yellow in Aspen, Colorado during October?
A. Because it was fall.

Q. Why was the lamb arrested on Loveland Pass?
A. Because she pulled a ewe turn.

Q. Why did the Rocky Mountain bighorn sheep fall of the cliff?
A. He didn't see the ewe turn!

Q. Why did the Colorado blonde, driving the car with the wild paint job, get pulled over?
A. The Cherry Hills cops said it was a graphic violation.

Q. What kind of jacket do you wear when hiking in the Colorado Rockies?
A. A trail blazer.

Q. What do you get if you cross a witch and a Halloween blizzard in Denver?
A. A cold spell!

Q. What do Denverites call a poem composed by clever Colorado canines that you have to scan to understand?
A. A bark ode.

Q. Why did the snowman in Fraser, Colorado go to the doctor?
A. Because he always had the chills!

Q. What steps should you take if you see a mountain lion while hiking on Pike's Peak?
A. Very large ones.

Q. How do you describe a Colorado camping trip?
A. In tents!

Q. What is a little green man's weed source?
A. Mother Earth, Colorado, USA.

According to a recent poll, 91% of Coloradans are satisfied with their lives. Apparently, the other 9% can't remember where the nearest pot shop is?

Q. What do Denverites call poetry by a pigeon out in a marijuana field?
A. High Coo!

Nebraska Officer: You could go to jail for weed.
Colorado Stoner: Jail sells weed?

You might be from Denver if you went to Casa Bonita as a child, and still do as a grownup!

Pothead: Dude, my burrito tastes funny.
Waiter at Casa Bonita: Then why aren't you laughing?

Q. How did Denver television news report the ruckus at the LoDo Denver Starbucks?
A. As a Serious Brew-ha-ha.

Customer: Bring me a burrito.
Waiter at Denver's Club 404: Yes sir, with pleasure!
Customer: NO, with cheese!

Q. How are a crummy Colorado football team and a zombie different?
A. One is the walking dead and the other gets killed on the road.

Q. What's the difference between Broncos fans and mosquitoes?
A. Mosquitoes are only annoying six months of the year.

Q. What did the waiter at the Denver burger joint say to the Bronco that stopped in for a bite?
A. Sorry, I can't take your order. That's not my stable.

Q. What do dogs in Colorado eat for breakfast?
A. Pooched eggs.

Q. What is the medical term for owning too many dogs in the City and County of Denver?
A. Roverdose.

Colorado Tourist: Why don't you have doggie bags here?
Waiter at Cherry Cricket: Sir, that would be cruelty to animals.

Q. Why did the Denver Mint hire a bloodhound?
A. That just made scents.

Q. Why did the Broncos need the second mascot, Miles?
A. So the team could honestly say they ran Miles today.

Q. What does a Denver fan do after the Broncos won the Super Bowl?
A. He turned off his PlayStation.

Q. Why did the Denver locksmith do stand-up comedy during his off time?
A. Because he always got the audience keyed up at Comedy Works Downtown.

Q. What do you call the pig that won the Colorado Lottery?
A. Filthy rich.

Colorado Stoner Point to Ponder: Square box, round pizza, triangular slices? I'm so confused?

Q. How many Colorado potheads does it take to have a bake sale?
A. Geez, if they're already baked, why not?

Q. Which flavor of barbeque sauce is the favorite of Colorado locksmiths?
A. Mesquite.

Denver LoDo Pick-Up Line: Hey Bud, I blaze on the first date!

Q. How can you tell a blonde is not a Broncos fan?
A. She can't understand why all those guys are beating each other up over 25 cents.

Q. How is losing money in a pay phone like a Broncos game?
A. If you don't get your quarter back, you hit the receiver.

Q. Why didn't the quarter roll down the Colorado hill along with the nickel?
A. Because the quarter had more cents!

Q. What do prosperous Colorado cows say?
A. An udder day, an udder dollar.

Q. What's the difference between US Congress and the Denver Mint?
A. Only one of them makes cents.

Colorado Tourist: My lunch is talking to me.
Dude Ranch Waiter: Yes sir, that's why I don't recommend the tongue sandwich.

I just bought some boots from a drug dealer in Colorado. I don't know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping all day!

Q. What sort of humor do Denver comedian chickens tell at Comedy Works Downtown?
A. Funny Yolks.

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