Air Travel Point to Ponder: If you joined the Mile High Club solo, is that considered a High Jacking?

Q. What did the horny eyeball join after leaving Denver International Airport?
A. The Mile Eye Club!

Q. Why do chicks like Mile High Club jokes?
A. Because they're so flocking funny!

Denver International Airport Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, I've got two boarding passes. Let's catch a flight and see where we land.

Q. In Colorado, how do you keep your sleeping bag from getting stretched out?
A. Don't sleep too long in it.

Q. What do Coloradans call a tortilla chip that works out?
A. A Macho Nacho.

Q. How did the hipster tourist burn his tongue at Denver's Club 404?
A. He ate a burrito before it was cool.

Q. What is a spicy Colorado taco's favorite movie with a hot Leonardo DiCaprio?
A. Catch Me If You Cayenne.

Q. Why don't Coloradans trust a burrito?
A. Because it might spill the beans.

Q. Why do Colorado burrito jokes keep getting dumber and dumber?
A. Because queso-taco-encha-ritos are making them up now!

Q. Why is Colorado craft beer so popular throughout the United States?
A. Because Americans believe in Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Hoppiness!

Q. If a hipster walks into the bar, does he make a sound?
A. Yes, but you've never heard of that Colorado brew pub.

Colorado Craft Beer Point to Ponder: After sampling numerous tasty beers on Saturday night, shouldn't there be Hop Tarts to toast your Sunday morning?

A bee walks into a sweet Colorado brew pub. Two flowers later, she comes out buzzed, but not stinging drunk!

Q. When does it rain money in Colorado?
A. When there's a change in the weather.

Q. How does a Colorado hail stone describe its life?
A. It has a lot of ups and downs.

You're having a great summer in Colorado if: You have NOT had to utter the phrase, What the Hail!

Q. Can bees fly during a torrential Colorado rain storm?
A. Not without their yellow jackets.

Rocky Mountains Point to Ponder: Do native sasquatches resent all of the big new foot paths in Colorado parks?

Q. How do you rescue Bigfoot on I25?
A. With a big toe truck!

Q. Why does Denver have such a wide demographic range of ages that consume legal marijuana?
A. I25 and I70.

(By the way, I25 through Denver has always been called The Valley Highway! So, DON'T MOVE HERE NOW and legislate to RENAME IT!)

Q. What is a treefer and is that better than a two-fer?
A. Both are Colorado happy hour goodies, and you be the judge...

Q. If a blonde Colorado camper has three tents in one hand and six sleeping bags in the other, what does she have?
A. Big hands. Duh!

A man in Kiowa, Colorado tells his shrink that he's having recurring dreams. One night he's a tepee and the next he's a wigwam... The shrink replied, "I think you're too tents."

Q. How did the head coach figure out which Denver Bronco was most popular with the fans?
A. He conducted a Gallop Poll.

Q. What do you call a promiscuous Broncos cheerleader?
A. A little whorse.

Q. Which NFL football team do horses, mules, burros and donkeys always root for?
A. The Denver Broncos.

Q. What happened when the guy had a dream he'd become an NFL quarterback?
A. His prediction came to pass, but not in Denver.

Did you hear about the Colorado mountain climber who broke his left arm and left leg? He's all right now.

Q. Why should you always invite a Colorado skier to Thanksgiving dinner?
A. They're good at carving.

Q. How can you tell that a primo Colorado mountain lake has become very popular with tourists and local anglers?
A. Because the parking lot had fishing lines.

Q. How does the Denver Police Department grill a chicken?
A. Knock her down on the pavement and repeatedly ask her why she crossed the road.

Q. What do you call an official at a Broncos game who is wearing Venetian blinds?
A. A Zebra!

Q. What do Broncos running backs eat before a big game?
A. Fast Food!

Q. What are tourists served at the Colorado dude ranch's sports bar during Denver Broncos games?
A. Horse d'oeuvres.

Q. What is the only good thing about the Denver Broncos 2019 season?
A. At least we know the Mafia aren't Broncos fans?

Q. Why are there so many more Bigfoot sightings in the Denver foothills lately?
A. Because Squatches moved here, just like everybody else!

Q. What is Colorado Bigfoot's favorite Jimi Hendrix song?
A. All Along the Squatch-Tower

Q. Why doesn't Bigfoot wear clown shoes?
A. Because that would make Sasquatch the most frightening creature in Colorado!

Did you hear about the sasquatch in Colorado who broke up with his lady in the fog? Now he's known as Girl-less in the Mist.

Q. What does an eyeball sing while gazing at Pike's Peak?
A. Ain't No Mountain Eye Enough!

Q. What kind of candy is a Colorado Rocky Mountain's favorite?
A. Snow Caps.

Q. Why did the novice Colorado skier expect the worst after he got to the top of the slope?
A. It's only downhill from there...

Colorado Great Outdoors Point to Ponder: If you leave your jacket outside with a packet of seeds in the pocket and it starts to rain, would you get a chia coat?

Q. When in Colorado, what should you do if you come across a green alien?
A. Wait until it's ripe.

Q. What does a spaced alien in Colorado say when he's ready to take off?
A. Let's Roll!

Q. What does a spaced alien in Colorado call it when he's having fun flying high?
A. Enjointment!

Did you hear about the Denver street musician who died while smoking weed rolled in a dollar bill? At least he went out on a high note…

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