Q. Why didn't the stallion show up to his Broncos-themed wedding?
A. He got colt feet!

Q. Why did the blonde bride get married at the summit of Guanella Pass in Colorado?
A. Duh, she knew the drive up the winding road would make the guests dizzy, too!

Q. How can you tell you're at a Mile High wedding?
A. Hungry guests with the munchies begin to nibble on the rice.

Q. What's the difference between a horse and Colorado's weather?
A. One's reined up. The other rains down.

Colorado Point to Ponder: Why is it called Tourist Season if folks in Colorado Springs can't shoot at them?

Q. What kind of jacket do you wear when hiking in the Colorado Rockies?
A. A trail blazer.

Q. How is Colorado craft beer better than a woman?
A. Beer likes to go fishing, plus beer never fishes for compliments!

Q. What do tight pants and a cheap motel on E Colfax have in common?
A. No ball room.

Q. Why don't Colorado brown bears wear shoes?
A. What's the point? They'd still have bear feet!

Q. How do you keep your feet warm during a Colorado snow storm?
A. Don't go out brrr-footed!

Q. What do frogs wear on their feet at Cherry Creek Reservoir?
A. Open-toad shoes.

Q. What happened to the tourist frog vacationing in Colorado at Chimney Gulch in the No Parking Zone?
A. He got toad away!

I accidentally left two Colorado Rockies tickets on my car's dash, with the windows open. When I got back, there were two more!

Q. Why can't basketball players, other than the Denver Nuggets, vacation in Colorado?
A. Because they'd get called for traveling.

Ya gotta wonder about the logic behind naming Colorado's NHL team Avalanche. Seems like a no-win scenario and a predictor of a losing season they'd never be able to dig their way out of.

Q. Why are Colorado mountain jokes so funny?
A. Because they're so high!

Q. Are there many Colorado Cannivores in Denver?
A. Yes, medible ents and cannafoodies are quite common in the Mile High city.

Two stoners were walking along the Pikes Peak Cog Railway. One says, "This is a really long staircase, man!" Second stoner replies, "I don't mind all the stairs, but the handrail is killing me!"

Did you hear about the guy in Colorado who wants marijuana to be classified as a vegetable? He said it's an ingenious way to get Americans to stop using edibles!

Key Colorado Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, did you call a locksmith? 'Cause GPS took me straight to your high country lock-ation.

High Country Colorado Tourism Slogan: Weed like to welcome you.

Cannabis Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you're so hot that I don't even need a lighter!

Denver Broncos' Lovers Pick-Up Line: Whoa, do you play football? 'Cause you've got a tight end!

Q. Which Broncos mascot goes under a stage name now that he's white?
A. Thunder (A.K.A. Old Gray Mare)

Q. Why did the ladies really go for the hot Colorado craft beer meister?
A. Because he was lager than life.

Q. Why did the tech guy prefer Colorado craft beer?
A. Because his head is in the cloud.

Old Colorado river rafters never die, they just go with the flow.

Q. Which Colorado craft beer do van-driving retro guys in Morrison drink?
A. Brown Eyed Ale.

Colorado Craft Beer Point to Ponder: Why doesn't the Denver Post have more Hop-Ed pieces?

A Colorado Blue Spruce walks into a bar. Bartender says, "You better leave." When the tree doesn't leaf, the barkeep says, "You must take me for a sap!" Tree replies, "Stop barking and pour me a logger!"

Q. Which Boulder craft beer is popular at CU?
A. Barley Legal Ale.

Isn't it ironic that the Denver Broncos mascot is Thunder, considering lightning hasn't killed anybody in the stands yet? Isn't that just asking for it?

Q. When do vampires descend into Mile High Field?
A. Only if the game is neck and neck.

A wild Bronco gallops out of Little Book Cliffs Wild Horse Area and into a bar in Grand Junction, Colorado. Bartender asks, "Have you herd any good jokes lately?"

Q. What do Denver Bronco fans say about Painful Puns that feature equines?
A. Neigh!

Q. Where do Denver Bronco fans get new team shirts if they don't want to deal with New Jersey?
A. Old Neigh-vy!

Q. Why did the blonde Denver Broncos fan cross the road?
A. Somebody said, "Hey."

Q. How can you tell a blonde is not a fan of the Denver Broncos?
A. Because she thinks a quarterback is change for a buck.

Denver Donkeys Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are you a football? 'Cause I aim to make a pass at you.

According to a recent poll, 91% of Denver, Colorado residents are satisfied with their lives. Apparently, the other 9% can't remember where the nearest of 5280 pot shops is?

Q. Why won't you ever catch sight of a sasquatch on Lookout Mountain?
A. Jeffco Sheriff's Office is looking into that.

Q. Why was Star Trek's Lt. Worf such an outstanding mountain climber on Colorado's 14-ers?
A. Because he was a true Kling-on.

Colorado High Country Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, weed be on fire together.

Q. Why don't Bronco fans know what to call the stadium?
A. Because nobody knows what the hell the stadium's name is, and this has nothing to do with legalized marijuana.

Short, but Sweet Denver Broncos Pick-Up Line: Hay There!

Q. If a Sasquatch farts in the Colorado woods, does it make a sound?
A. Yes, but nobody is around to hear it, or smell it!

Q. How does Sasquatch find his way through the remote Colorado woods?
A. He sticks to the big footpath.

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