Q. How do you compliment a donkey? A. "Hay, nice ass!"   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. What do you call a donkey on steroids? A. An ass-teroid!
Q. How do you get a horse drunk? A. Drink him under the stable!
Horsing Around: If ya wanna make money as a comedian, you gotta have a cents of humor.
Q. What do you call a promiscuous pony? A. A little whorse!
Q. Why did the anorexic blonde start eating hay? A. Her doctor told her she needed to eat like a horse!

 


Horse Humor, Donkey Puns, Horsey Jokes
Hay, here's a stable supply of horse puns, mule jokes, ass humor and lots of horsing around.

Horse Jokes, Donkey Humor, Stable Puns
(Because City Jokes and Metropolitan Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Bad Asses, Studs, and Hipster Horses!)
Warning: Horses Present. Watch Where You Walk! The road apples aren't the most painful thing ahead.
| Horse Jokes | 2 | 3 | Donkey Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Funky Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Beefy Humor | 2 |
| Farmer Jokes | Cowboy Jokes | Baad Sheep Puns for Ewe | Pig Puns | 2 | 3 | Goose, Duck Puns |
| Animal Music Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Xmas Animals |
| Farm Puns and Farm Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Animal Pick-Up Lines |


Q. Who wond the cowboy's chess match? A. It ended in a drawl!Fun FarmSaying: A Horse is a Very Stable Animal.I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1, and it did! But, all the others came in at 12:30!

Q. Which street do horses live on?
A. Mane Street!

Q. Why did the horse talk with hay in its mouth?
A. It lacked good stable manners.

Q. What do horses say about Painful Puns that feature equines?
A. Neigh!

Q. How did the dude ranch owner figure out which horse was most popular with the dudes?
A. He conducted a Gallop Poll.

Q. What do you call a young guy with the emotional character of a horse?
A. Colt-hearted.

Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. Because somebody shouted, "Hay!"

Q. What do you call an equine that wears condoms?
A. Trojan Horse.

Q. What kind of horse do you ride down Elm Street?
A. A Nightmare!

Q. Which route do crazy horses take through the forest?
A. The psychopath.

Q. What should you call a horse with no hair on his neck?
A. He shall remain maneless.

Q. What do race horses eat?
A. Fast Food.

Q. Why don't race horses wear underwear?
A. Because it rides up on them.

Q. How did the winning jockey communicate with his horses?
A. He laid all his cards on the stable.

Q. How are jockeys and clouds alike?
A. They both hold reins.

Q. How is an egg like a young horse?
A. You can't use either until they're broken.

Q. When did the horseback trip begin?
A. Ride On Time.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but he ca't make him drink it!Q. What do you call a baby donkey? A. A Burrito!Q. What did one horse say to another? A. The pace is familiar, but I can't remember the mane!

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey." Horse says, "Yes please. And can I get a beer with that?"

Bag of fertilizer walks into a bar. Bartender says, "You can come in, but don't give me any sh*t."

Q. What sickness can a cowboy get from riding a wild horse?
A. Bronchitis!

Q. Who were the most legendary horse thieves?
A. Bonnie and Clydesdale.

Equine Pick-Up Line: Hay Mare, are you a racehorse? 'Cause when I ride you, you'll always finish first.

Q. What happens when you buy a mini donkey?
A. You get a little ass.

Q. What do you get if you cross a donkey and a motorcycle?
A. A Yam-Hee-Haw.

Donkey Etiquette Tip of the Day: Burros love it when you use the term: Laughing My ASS Off!

Q. What do you call a donkey that digs a tunnel?
A. A burro.

Equine Chat Up Line: Hey there, I bet the other donkeys are jealous 'cause that's one fine ass.

Q. What do you call a horse that keeps losing its iPad?
A. An Appaloosa!

Q. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

Q. Where do horses shop?
A. Old Neigh-vy.

Q. Which type of underwear do race horses wear?
A. Short Jockeys.

Horsey Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, aren't you tired? 'Cause you've been galloping through my mind all evening.

Q. What do you call a donkey that throws nuts to the moon? A. An ass-throw-nut!Q. What do you dall a veterinarian with laryngitis? A. Hoarse DoctorQ. When do vampires like horse racing? A. When it's neck & neck!

Q. What do you call a donkey with a Ph.D?
A. A smart ass!

Q. What do you get if a donkey eats a porcupine?
A. A pain in the ass.

Q. How do you insult a lazy mule?
A. Call him half-assed!

Q. What did the redneck name his new jackass?
A. KickAss.

Q. What did the horse say when it fell?
A. I've fallen and I can't giddyup!

Q. How does a vet treat a horse with a cold?
A. With cough stirrup.

Q. What do you call a dark horse tale?
A. Black Beauty.

Q. Why did the farmer ride his horse into town?
A. It was too heavy to carry.

Q. How do you save a horse that's been possessed by an evil demon spirit?
A. Perform an ex-horse-ism.

Q. Where do horses get their hair done?
A. Maine.

Q. What do they serve at the dude ranch before the main course?
A. Horse d'oeuvres.

Q. Why did a pony have to gargle?
A. It was a little hoarse.

Q. Why do horses fart when they buck? A. Because they can't acheive full horse power without gas!Q. What do you get if you cross an optometrist convention and a donkey auction? A. Two eye-gl-asses for the price of one!Q. How does a cowboy get his horse to do odd jobs around the ranch? A. He pays hin under the stable!

Q. Which kind of horse really enjoys baked beans?
A. The Pinto.

Q. What happened after a horse swallowed four quarters?
A. It bucked.

Q. What kind of bakery does a horse like?
A. Thoroughbread.

Q. When does a horse talk?
A. Whinny wants to!

Horse Hookup Line: Hay lady, you're a fine little filly. I'm a purebred myself, so you wanna go for a quick trot?

Q. What do you call a donkey with a banjo?
A. Bluegr-ass.

Q. What do you call a bar fight with donkeys?
A. Whoop ass.

Q. What do donkeys send out at Christmas time?
A. Mule-tide greetings.

Q. What do you call it when you drop the little donkey you were carrying because Painful Puns cracked you up so much?
A. Laughing your ass off.

Racy Horse Pick-Up Line: Hay there big fella, if I ran a race with you, I'd let you come first every time!

Q. Who helps the horse stable cleaning guy?
A. His co-pile-it!

Q. What do you call a noisy horse?
A. A herd animal!

Stallion Pick-Up Line: Hey Mare, I'd love to foal-fill all of your needs tonight.

Q. What's the difference between a horse and the weather?
A. One is reined up, and the other rains down.

Q. What do horses see before they hear thunder?
A. A lightning colt.

| Horse Jokes | 2 | 3 | Donkey Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Funky Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Beefy Humor | 2 |
| Farmer Jokes | Cowboy Jokes | Baad Sheep Puns for Ewe | Pig Puns | 2 | 3 | Goose, Duck Puns |
| Animal Music Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Xmas Animals |
| Farm Puns and Farm Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Animal Pick-Up Lines |


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