Cow Over the Moon Meme: Hey Diddle Diddle. - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. What do you get if you give pasta to a cow? A. Beefaroni!
Q. Why was the pig ejected from the football game? A. For Playing Dirty!
Q. What kind of music do sheep like? A. Baach!
Star Trek Humor: Why did the chicken cross the road? Insufficient Information! – Computer
Q. Why was teh rancher arrested at the gym? A. He was hurting his calves!


Farm Animal Jokes and Clucking Funny Farmers
Tour the funny farm for stable humor, animal puns, farmer jokes and laughing cows.

Farm Humor, Cow Jokes, Farmer Puns
(Because Urban Jokes and Citified Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Ha Ha Horses, Hipster Chickens, and Stud Bulls!)
Warning: Unstable Animal Jokes Ahead. Watch Where You Walk! The bollocks isn't the most painful thing here.
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| Horse Jokes | Donkey Jokes, Ass Puns | Pig Puns | Chicken Jokes | Rooster Puns | Goose LOLs |
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Cow Pun: A man assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How Dairy!Horsing Around: If ya wanna make money as a comedian, you gotta have a cents of humor.Q. What do you call a cow eating grass? A. Lawn Moo-er

Q. Why did this cow jump over the moon?
A. The farmer had cold hands.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a poodle?
A. Cow Poo!

Bovine Point to Ponder: If a cow laughs really hard, could milk come out her nose?

Q. Why couldn't the cow leave the dairy farm?
A. Because she was pasteurized.

Q. Which production features a local pony actor?
A. Just a little horse play.

Q. How much money did the bronco have?
A. Just one buck.

Q. How do you get a horse drunk?
A. Drink him under the stable.

Q. Why did the blonde cowboy only wear one spur?
A. Duh! Where one side of the horse goes, the other side will go, too!

Q. Which publication causes a monthly stampede to the moos stand?
A. Cosmoopolitan magazine.

Q. Why can't cows pilot boats?
A. Because they can't steer their udder.

Q. What is it called when one cow spies on another cow?
A. A steak out.

Q. What happens when a cow stops shaving?
A. She grows a moostache.

Q. How Do Chickens Dance? A. Chick to ChickQ. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. A Milk DudQ. How did the piglet with laryngitis feel? A. He was a little disgruntled!

Q. Which dance will a chicken never ever do?
A. The Fox Trot.

Q. What sort of humor do comedian chickens specialize in?
A. Funny Yolks.

Chicken Pick-Up Line: Hey Henny, if you were any finer, you'd be im-peck-able.

Q. What do you call somebody who steals chicken?
A. Chicken Pot Pirate.

Q. What does a cow order at Starbucks?
A. A half-calf-double-latte.

Q. What classic rock band is a favorite of cows?
A. Moo-dy Blues.

Q. Why did the cow tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
A. She believed children should be seen and not herded!

Q. Where do milkshakes come from?
A. Nervous cows.

Q. How do you get a sick pig to the hospital?
A. In a Hambulance!

Q. How do disgruntled pigs go out on strike?
A. They form a pigget line.

Q. Why did the boar's wife run away from home?
A. She felt he was taking her for grunted.

Q. What do you say after a pig takes off at the airport?
A. Swine Flu!

Did you hear about the bones recently found on the moon? It seems the cow did not make it.Sheep Joke: When I finally figured out the secret to cloning, I was beside myself.Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. A Bum Steer

Q. How did the cow get to the moo-on?
A. She launched into udder space!

Q. How many cows cows does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to hold the bulb, and the udder to turn the chair.

Q. What do you call a cow that stepped on a land mine?
A. Well done.

Q. Who wrote the book about cattle tattoos?
A. Brandon Cows.

Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. A Candy Baa.

Q. Where do sheep get shorn?
A. At the baa baa shop.

Q. Where do sheep take a nice soak?
A. In a baa-th tub.

Q. How do sheep fall asleep?
A. By counting humans.

Q. Which fraternity has the most sheep?
A. Lambda Lambda Lambda.

Q. How does a farmer count a herd of cows?
A. with a Cow-culator.

Q. What do you call a cattle herd that's masturbating?
A. Beef Strokin' Off.

Q. Why were the Wyoming rancher's stock so skittish?
A. Because they were cow herds.

Q. What do you get if you cross a lawyer and a cow pie?
A. Expensive Bullshit.

Farm Humor: An Expert Farmer is Outstanding in His FieldQ. Why do cows wear cowbells? A. Because their horns don't work!Gnome MacDonald, Bought the Farm.

Q. Why was the farmer so teffified by his pumpkins?
A. Because after he watered the seeds, they grew some and then grew some more!

Farming Point to Ponder: If I bought an ant farm, where would I find a tractor that small?

Q. Why is it hard to keep secrets on a farm?
A. Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

Pick Up a Farmer Line: Hey big guy, is that a phone in your pocket, or is your rooster happy to see me?

Farm Wisdom: Never throw in the trowel!

Q. Where do cows ride in the train?
A. The cow-boose.

Q. What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a cow?
A. Hare in your milk.

Q. Why does a cow go to work each day?
A. To earn lots of moola.

Q. Where do USA cows like to retire?
A. St. Moois, Moosouri, or Moo Jersey.

Cow Pick-Up Line: Hay Elsie, can I place this cowbell around your neck? 'Cause I want to follow you forever.

Q. When is a farmer a magician?
A. When he turns the cows into the pasture.

Q. Why did the blonde farmer plant each potato in a paper lunch bag?
A. She wanted to keep the dirt out of their eyes!

Q. What did the aging farmer say to his wife on their wedding anniversary?
A. Like a prune, you aren't getting better looking, but you are getting sweeter!

Farmer Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, was your daddy a pumpkin? 'Cause you are lookin' so gourdgeous.

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Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes | ...And Cross Again? |
| Rooster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Egg Jokes | Turkey Jokes | 2 | Goose Jokes | Fowl LOLs | Duck Puns | 2
| Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cow On Moon | Bull Puns | Beefy Humor | Ranch Puns, Cowboy Jokes |
| Horse Jokes, Pony Puns | 2 | 3 | Donkey Jokes, Ass Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns |
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