Cow Pun - Pasteurize: Too Far Too See - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Cow Chef Says: Spoiler Alert! The milk has been in the fridge for three weeks!

Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. A Bull
Cow Chef Asks: Why did yogurt go to the art exhibit? A. Because it was cultured!


Dairy Cow Jokes, Milking LOLs, Dairy Farmer Humor
Be moo-ved by pasture-ized puns, cow-worker humor, whey out LOLs and cow milking jokes.

Dairy Farm Jokes, Milk Cow Humor, Udder Puns
(Because Milk Maid Jokes and Pasteurized Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If You're Touring a Dairy Farm!)
Warning: Proceed Cowfully! Chocolate milk jokes, Wisconsin farm humor, bull LOLs and udderly handy puns ahead.
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Cow Pun: A man assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How Dairy!
Q. Why did the cow jump over the moon? A. Because the farmer had cold hands!
Q. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? A. Because the cow has the udder!

When asked if it's easy to milk a cow, the farmer replied, "Sure, any jerk can do it."

Q. Why didn't the angry farmer divorce his wife when she traded their prize milking cow for a book of poetry?
A. Because he vowed to love her for butter or verse.

Dairy Farm Pick Up Line: Hey girl, don't have a cow, but I'm utterly in love with you.

Dairy Farm Point to Ponder: If a cow laughs really hard at Painful Puns, could milk come out her nose?

Q. What is a farmer's favorite party game?
A. Truth or Dairy!

Q. Why did a blonde send her cow to dark side of the moon?
A. She wanted dark chocolate milk.

Q. What do you get when a farmer feeds cows money?
A. Farm rich milk.

The new neighbor walked up to the dairy farmer with a jug of milk saying, "I just milked your cow." The astounded farmer replied, "Um, that's a bull!"

Q. What does a farmer talk about while milking his cows?
A. Oh, just udder nonsense.

Q. What do you get if you cross an octopus and a cow?
A. An animal that can milk itself.

Old dairy cows never die, but they do kick the bucket.

Q. Why don't dairy farmers ever buy fat-free milk?
A. Because they don't want to contribute to cows having body image issues.

Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. An Udder Failure
Q. What do you get from a pampered cow? A. Spoiled Milk
Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. A Bum Steer

Q. What do you get from a forgetful cow?
A. Milk of Amnesia!

Dairy Groan of the Day: Did you hear abou the guy who got sick after drinking rich milk with cream? At first, his stomach was churning, but now he's feeling butter.

Q. Which kind of camel throws an absolute hissy fit when a dairy farmer tries to milk her?
A. A drama dairy.

Q. Where do milkshakes come from?
A. Udderly nervous dairy cows.

Q. Which farm produces the best milk in the whole world?
A. Legend Dairy.

Q. Why did the dairy farmer take his milk to church?
A. Because it needed to be pastor-ized.

Q. What did the testy cow say to the farmer?
A. You better milk me soon, or I'm gonna cream you!

Q. What do you get from dairy farms in Alaska?
A. Ice cream.

Q. What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a cow?
A. Hare in your milk.

Milky Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, have you ever milked a cow before? 'Cause your gonna need a bucket for this too.

Q. What do dairy farmers call really bad jokes about milk?
A. Udder bullshit.

Q. If milk comes from a dairy cow, where does chocolate milk come from?
A. A cacao.

Cow Joke: Old milk maids never die, they just lose their whey.
Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. A Milk Dud
When making non-dairy butter, there is little margarine for error.

Q. Why couldn't the cow leave the dairy farm?
A. Because she was pasteurized.

Q. Why don't dairy cows like curdled milk jokes?
A. Because the're so cheesy.

Q. Which type of cheese do dairy cows like best?
A. Moo-zarella!

Cheesy Chat Up Line: Holy cow! Are you the girl of my creamy dreams?

Q. What are the spots on black and white dairy cows called?
A. Hol-stains.

Q. Why did the blonde farmer get a brown cow?
A. She wanted chocolate milk.

Q. How does a dairy farmer read the newspaper?
A. He skims it.

Q. How do dairy farm employees refer to each other?
A. As cow-workers.

Q. What do dairy farmers call a vegan guy who likes to pleasure himself?
A. A non-dairy creamer.

Q. What did the dairy farmer get from his miniature cows?
A. Condensed milk.

Q. What happens when a dairy cow drinks her own milk?
A. It goes in one end and out the udder.

Old dairy farmers never die because they just keep getting butter and butter.

Q. How hard is it to milk a cow? A. It's easy as cow pie!
Mooving Banana Joke: How are cereal bananas like cows? A. Both get milked every morning!
Q. Is t easy to ilk a cow? A. It's a piece of steak!

Q. What does a dairy cow order at Starbucks?
A. A half-calf-double-latte.

Q. What did the farmer say after some jerk throws cheese at the milking machine?
A. How Dairy!

Q. What do dairy cows eat up dairy jokes and Painful cheesy Puns?
A. Because they like corn.

Q. What is a buff Wisconsin dairy farmer's favorite arm exercise?
A. Cheese curls.

Q. What is today's weather forecast for dairy farms in Wisconsin?
A. Rain and light Bries.

Wisconsin Tourist: What is the difference between milk and cheese?
Dairy Farmer: Cheese didn't get lost along the whey.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dairy cow and a duck?
A. Milk and Quackers!

Q. What do dairy cows eat up cheese jokes and Painful cheesy food Puns?
A. Because they like corn.

Q. Why did the dairy farmer feed his cows cold hard cash?
A. Because he wanted rich milk.

Q. Why did the dairy farmer only raise brown cows?
A. He loved chocolate milk!

Old Wisconsin dairy farmers never die, but they do cut the cheese.

Q. Where does a dairy farmer get dragon milk?
A. Find a cow with no back legs.

Q. What does a dary farmer churn to make forgetful butter?
A. Milk of Amnesia!

Q. Where do Russians get their milk?
A. From Mos-cows!

Dairy Cow Hookup Line: Hey girl, I'm horny and that ain't no bull.

Q. How hard is it to milk a dairy cow?
A. Well, it ain't NO piece of steak!

Q. Why did the blonde dairy farmer's daughter put a cow on a trampoline?
A. 'Cause she wanted a milk shake.

Newlywed Wife: What is the best way to keep milk fresh?
Vegan Huaband: Leave it in the cow.

Wisconsin Tourist: How do you make goat cheese?
Dairy Farmer: Ewe's milk!

Dairy Funny Pick Up Line: Hey girl, did you just take a milk bath? 'Cause your skin is so white and creamy.

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You're still thirsting for grins, so here's even more non-homogenized humor,
udderly funny jokes and past your eyes-ed painful puns to really moove you:

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