Q. What do you get if a potato and a chicken bump into each other? A. Yam and Eggs!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. How Do Chickens Dance? A. Chick to Chick
Q. Why did the horny rooster go to KFC? A. He heard there's chicken meet up there!
Q. Why did McDonald's run out of McNuggets? A. A farmer counted his chickens before they were hatched!
Q. Why did half a chicken cross the road? A. To get to its other side!
Q. What's the difference between meat and a chicken? A. If you beat your chicken, it will die!

 


Funky Chicken Humor, Rooster Jokes, Hen Puns
Peck around for clucking funny chicken jokes, paultry poultry humor, and clucked up puns.

Funny Chicken Jokes, Hen Humor, Poultry Puns
(Because Chic City Jokes and Chick Urban Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Rowdy Roosters and Hipster Chickens!)
Warning: Chicken Sh*t Jokes Present. Watch Where You Walk! The poo isn't the most painful thing ahead.
| Funky Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Goose Jokes and Duck Puns | Funny Farmer Jokes |
| Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? | Cross the Road Jokes | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Pig Puns | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns for Ewe | Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Beef Jokes | 2 |
| Horse Humor | 2 | 3 | Donkey Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Wild Animal Jokes
|
Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a centipede? A. Drumsticks for a crowd!Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a cow? A. Roost Beef!Q. Why couldn't the chicken find her egg? A. Because she mislaid it.

Q. Which type of chicken is especially good at telling jokes?
A. A comedi-hen.

Q. What do you get if you cross a baby chick and an alley cat?
A. A Peeping Tom.

Q. How do you grill a chicken?
A. Repeatedly ask her why she crossed the road last night.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a cement mixer?
A. A brick layer.

Q. Why are original chicken jokes so funny?
A. Because they're made up from scratch!

Q. How do Painful Punsters prefer their eggs?
A. Funny side up!

Q. What sort of humor do comedian chickens specialize in?
A. Funny Yolks.

Q. How can you tell if your chicken is a comedian?
A. She tells funny yolks that crack you up.

Q. What time does a rooster wake up and visit the outhouse?
A. At the crap of dawn.

Q. Why was the noisy rooster annoying when walking either forward or backward?
A. 'Cause it crows both ways.

A chicken and an egg walk into the bar at the same time. Bartender says, "Who's first?"

Q. Did you hear about the chicken who only laid eggs during winter?
A. She was no spring chicken.

Q. Where are a lot of urban chickens born?
A. Chic-ago.

Q. What is Superchicken's secrect identity?
A. Cluck Kent.

Q. Why did the clown cross the road?
A. To get his rubber chicken.

Q. How do you keep a chicken in suspense?
A. I'll tell you later...

Q. What do you get if a pig and a chicken bump into each other? A. Ham and Eggs!Q. What was teh transvestite rooster's stage name? A. Dawn!Q. What happens if you drop a hand gren-egg? A. It egg-splodes!

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. It just dawned on him!

Q. What do a plastic surgeon and a chicken farmer have in common?
A. Both can supply big breasts.

Q. How do chickens bake cakes?
A. From scratch.

Q. What do you call a chicken with lettuce stuck in her eye?
A. Chicken sees-a salad. (Caesar Salad)

Q. Why did Mozart fry all his chickens?
A. Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said: "Bach, Bach, Bach."

Q. What do you call a crazy chicken?
A. A cuckoo cluck!

Q. How do romantic chickens dance?
A. Chick to Chick.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Just Beak-Cause!

Q. Why did the chicken just jump into the soup pot?
A. The farmer's wife told her it was a Jacuzzi.

Q. What does a chicken order on her pizza?
A. Eggs-tra Cheese!

Q. Whet did the raccoons do after they raided the henhouse?
A. They enjoyed their poached eggs.

Q. Why did the poultry farmer always tell jokes to the hens?
A. He liked to egg them on.

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a dog?
A. Pooched Eggs!

Q. What does a calm hen say to a rowdy cock?
A. Don't ruffle my feathers.

Q. Which kind of movies do hens like best?
A. Chick Flicks!

Q. What did the hen do when she saw fried chicken? A. She kicked the bucket!I have no idea how to raise chickens? So I guess I'll just have to wing it!Q. Why did this chicken cross the road? A. Because she's an independent female flightless bird!

Q. What is the battle cry of democratic chickens?
A. Live Free Range, or Die!

Q. Who does a chicken farmer call if he thinks his henhouse is haunted?
A. An egg-sorcist.

Q. Why don't chickens like people?
A. Because they beat eggs.

Q. Which holy men do chickens dread the most?
A. Friars!

Q. Why do hens write chicken jokes?
A. Because they're so clucking funny!

Henhouse Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, I'll have the chicken breast, hold the chicken.

Poultry Point to Ponder: Are chickens cheeper by the dozen?

Q. What does a lost and mixed up hen lay?
A. Scrambled eggs.

Urban Poultry Point to Ponder: If you have backyard chickens and take care of them, are you a chicken tender?

Q. Where does a stylish chicken like to shop?
A. At a chic boutique.

Q. Why do chickens make empathetic dermatologists?
A. Because they know all about scratch.

Q. Which historical English monarch was known for keeping a huge poultry farm?
A. King Hennery.

Q. What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
A. Hen-durance!

Q. Can a chicken understand English?
A. Yes, chic-can.

Q. How do chickens get off the highway?
A. They take the eggs-it.

Q. What do you call it when you jump off a cliff with a chicken in each hand?
A. Hen Gliding.

Q. What subject do chickens study in school?
A. Egg-onomics.

Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey chickadee, I'm no rooster, but just watch what this cock-a-do-to-you!

Q. Why did the chicken's coach cross the basketball court? A. It heard the referee calling fowls!Q. Which day of the week does a chicken dread most? A. Fry-Day!Q. How does a rooster kiss his girlfriend? A. With his pecker!

Q. What kind of athletic shoes do chickens wear when they cross the road?
A. Re-Bok-Bok-Boks.

Q. What does a rooster in London say?
A. Cockney-doodle-do.

Q. What does a grammy winning rooster sing?
A. Rocker-doodle-do.

Q. Why did the chicken join the band?
A. She already had the drumsticks.

Paultry Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey Penny, do you eat chicken? 'Cause you can suck my cock.

Q. What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
A. Coop cakes!

Q. What happens if you drop a hen-grenade?
A. It eggs splodes!

Q. How do chickens leave the henhouse?
A. They use the eggs-it.

Q. Why didn't the undead skeleton chicken cross the road?
A. She lacked the guts for the adventure.

Q. Which movie was about a typical family haunted by a turkey?
A. Poultrygeist.

Q. What do you get if you cross a rooster and a telephone pole?
A. A long wooden cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.

Chicken Pick-Up Line: Hey Henny, if you were any finer, you'd be im-peck-able.

Q. What do you call the door to the chicken coop?
A. The h-entrance.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the hay field?
A. To get to the other scythe.

Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey chick, do you raise chickens? 'Cause you raise my cock.

| Funky Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Goose Jokes and Duck Puns | Funny Farmer Jokes |
| Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? | Cross the Road Jokes | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Pig Puns | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns for Ewe | Funny Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Beef Jokes | 2 |
| Horse Humor | 2 | 3 | Donkey Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Farm Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Animal Pick-Up Lines |
| Animal Music Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Xmas Animals |


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