Q. What do you get if a potato and a chicken bump into each other? A. Yam and Eggs!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. How Do Chickens Dance? A. Chick to Chick
Q. Why did the horny rooster go to KFC? A. He heard there's chicken meet up there!
Q. Why did McDonald's run out of McNuggets? A. A farmer counted his chickens before they were hatched!
Q. Why did half a chicken cross the road? A. To get to its other side!

Q. What's the difference between meat and a chicken? A. If you beat your chicken, it will die!


Funky Chicken Humor, Rooster Jokes, Hen Puns
Peck around for clucking funny chicken jokes, paultry poultry humor, and clucked up puns.

Funny Chicken Jokes, Hen Humor, Poultry Puns
(Because Chic City Jokes and Chick Urban Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Rowdy Roosters and Hipster Chickens!)
Warning: Chicken Sh*t Jokes Present. Watch Where You Walk! The poultry poo isn't the most painful thing ahead.
| Funky Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cracked Egg Jokes | Cooked Egg Yolks | Poultry Puns |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Jokes | ...And Cross Again? | Cocky Rooster Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Goose Jokes | Fowl LOLs | Duck Puns | Turkey Jokes | Turkety Day Puns, Thanksgiving Jokes |
| Crow Jokes | Owl-ful Puns | Wild Bird Jokes | Parrot Jokes | Pet Bird Humor | Dinosaur Jokes |

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a centipede? A. Drumsticks for a crowd!Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a cow? A. Roost Beef!Q. Why couldn't the chicken find her egg? A. Because she mislaid it.

Q. Which type of chicken is especially good at telling jokes?
A. A comedi-hen.

Q. What do you get if you cross a baby chick and an alley cat?
A. A Peeping Tom.

Q. How do you grill a chicken?
A. Repeatedly ask her why she crossed the road last night.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a cement mixer?
A. A brick layer.

Q. Why are original chicken jokes so funny?
A. Because they're made up from scratch!

Q. How was the chicken journalist rewarded for the coop expose?
A. With a Poulette Surprise.

Q. How do Painful Punsters prefer their eggs?
A. Funny side up!

Q. What sort of humor do comedian chickens specialize in?
A. Funny Yolks.

Q. How can you tell if your chicken is a comedian?
A. She tells funny yolks that crack you up.

Q. What time does a rooster wake up and visit the outhouse?
A. At the crap of dawn.

Q. Why was the noisy rooster annoying when walking either forward or backward?
A. 'Cause it crows both ways.

Q. Which kind of poultry is raised on maize and stones?
A. Rock Cornish Game Hens.

A chicken and an egg walk into the bar at the same time. Bartender says, "Who's first?"

Q. Why did the chicken criminal released from jail on her personal recognizance?
A. 'Cause she wasn't a flight risk.

Q. Did you hear about the chicken who only laid eggs during winter?
A. She was no spring chicken.

Q. Where are a lot of urban chickens born?
A. Chic-ago.

Q. What is Superchicken's secrect identity?
A. Cluck Kent.

Q. Why did the clown cross the road?
A. To get his rubber chicken.

Q. How do you keep a chicken in suspense?
A. I'll tell you later...

Q. What do you get if a pig and a chicken bump into each other? A. Ham and Eggs!Q. What was teh transvestite rooster's stage name? A. Dawn!Q. What happens if you drop a hand gren-egg? A. It egg-splodes!

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. It just dawned on him!

Q. What do a plastic surgeon and a chicken farmer have in common?
A. Both can supply big breasts.

Q. How do chickens bake cakes?
A. From scratch.

Q. What do you call a chicken with lettuce stuck in her eye?
A. Chicken sees-a salad. (Caesar Salad)

Q. Why did Mozart fry all his chickens?
A. Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said: "Bach, Bach, Bach."

Q. If cows carry ecoli and chickens carry salmonella, what do pigs carry?
A. A gun, a badge, and a get out of jail free card.

Q. What do you call a crazy chicken?
A. A cuckoo cluck!

Q. How do romantic chickens dance?
A. Chick to Chick.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Just Beak-Cause!

Q. Why did the chicken just jump into the soup pot?
A. The farmer's wife told her it was a Jacuzzi.

Q. What does a chicken order on her pizza?
A. Eggs-tra Cheese!

Q. Whet did the raccoons do after they raided the henhouse?
A. They enjoyed their poached eggs.

Q. Which kind of movies do hens like best?
A. Chick Flicks!

Q. Why did the poultry farmer always tell jokes to the hens?
A. He liked to egg them on.

Q. What happened when the farmer mixed Pop Rocks into the chicken feed?
A. It caused a pop-ulation egg-splosion.

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a dog?
A. Pooched Eggs!

Q. What does a calm hen say to a rowdy cock?
A. Don't ruffle my feathers.

Q Which broadcast media source do chickens always avoid?
A. Fox News.

Q. What did the hen do when she saw fried chicken? A. She kicked the bucket!I have no idea how to raise chickens? So I guess I'll just have to wing it!Q. Why did this chicken cross the road? A. Because she's an independent female flightless bird!

Q. What is the battle cry of democratic chickens?
A. Live Free Range, or Die!

Q. Who does a chicken farmer call if he thinks his henhouse is haunted?
A. An egg-sorcist.

Q. Why don't chickens like people?
A. Because they beat eggs.

Q. Which holy men do chickens dread the most?
A. Friars!

Q. Why do hens write chicken jokes?
A. Because they're so clucking funny!

Henhouse Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, I'll have the chicken breast, hold the chicken.

Q. Why couldn't the chicken eat the farmer's blue rihbon corn?
A. 'Cause it was im-peckable.

Poultry Point to Ponder: Are chickens cheeper by the dozen?

Q. What does a lost and mixed up hen lay?
A. Scrambled eggs.

Urban Poultry Point to Ponder: If you have backyard chickens and take care of them, are you a chicken tender?

Q. Where does a stylish chicken like to shop?
A. At a chic boutique.

Q. Why do chickens make empathetic dermatologists?
A. Because they know all about scratch.

Q. Which historical English monarch was known for keeping a huge poultry farm?
A. King Hennery.

Q. Where do backyard chicken growers find a date online?
A. Match dot cluck.

Q. What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
A. Hen-durance!

Q. Can a chicken understand English?
A. Yes, chic-can.

Q. How do chickens get off the highway?
A. They take the eggs-it.

Q. What do you call it when you jump off a cliff with a chicken in each hand?
A. Hen Gliding.

Q. What subject do chickens study in school?
A. Egg-onomics.

Q. Why did the poultry farmer decide to quit the business?
A. 'Cause that was truly a fowl job.

Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey chickadee, I'm no rooster, but just watch what this cock-a-do-to-you!

Q. Why did the chicken's coach cross the basketball court? A. It heard the referee calling fowls!Q. Which day of the week does a chicken dread most? A. Fry-Day!Q. How does a rooster kiss his girlfriend? A. With his pecker!

Q. What kind of athletic shoes do chickens wear when they cross the road?
A. Re-Bok-Bok-Boks.

Q. What does a rooster in London say?
A. Cockney-doodle-do.

Q. What does a grammy winning rooster sing?
A. Rocker-doodle-do.

Q. Do old chickens ever die?
A. Yes, they get fried.

Q. Why did the chicken join the band?
A. She already had the drumsticks.

Paultry Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey Penny, do you eat chicken? 'Cause you can suck my cock.

Q. What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
A. Coop cakes!

Q. What happens if you drop a hen-grenade?
A. It eggs splodes!

Q. How do chickens leave the henhouse?
A. They use the eggs-it.

Q. Why didn't the undead skeleton chicken cross the road?
A. She lacked the guts for the adventure.

Q. Which popular musical was about a small chicken that performs arias?
A. Bantam of the Opera.

Q. Which movie was about a typical family haunted by a turkey?
A. Poultrygeist.

Q. What happened after a tornado destroyed the henouses?
A. The farmer doesn't think he'll be able to recoup his losses.

Q. What do you get if you cross a rooster and a telephone pole?
A. A long wooden cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.

Chicken Pick-Up Line: Hey Henny, if you were any finer, you'd be im-peck-able.

Q. What do you call the door to the chicken coop?
A. The h-entrance.

Q. How did the old chicken die?
A. She didn't look before crossing the road.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the hay field?
A. To get to the other scythe.

Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey chick, do you raise chickens? 'Cause you raise my cock.

| Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes | ...And Cross Again? |
| Rooster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Egg Jokes | Turkey Jokes | 2 | Goose Jokes | Fowl LOLs | Duck Puns | 2 |
| Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cow On Moon | Bull Puns | Beefy Humor | Ranch Puns, Cowboy Jokes |
| Horse Jokes, Pony Puns | 2 | 3 | Donkey Jokes, Ass Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns |
| Farm Crime LOLs and Cow Cop Jokes | Pig Jokes | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns | Farm Music Jokes |
| Farmer Jokes | Farmer's Market Jokes | Farm Crop Puns | Fun On the Farm | Dairy Farm Jokes |
| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Farm Pick-Up Lines |
| Farm Animal Astronaut Jokes | Garden Animal LOLs | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Animal Music Jokes | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Xmas Animal Puns |

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