Q. Which day of the week does a chicken dread most? A. Fry-Day!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. Where does the one-legged waitress work? A. At IHOP!
Hulk Asks: What do a cooked bird & a cowardly stoner have in common? A. They're both baked chickens!
I ate a Denver omlette for breakfast and now I'm feeling a bit peckish!
Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a cow? A. Roost Beef!
Q. Why don't they have toilet paper at KFC? A. It's finger-licking good!
Q. What's the difference between meat and a chicken? A. If you beat your chicken, it will die!
Q. What do you call a chicken crossing the road? A. Poultry in Motion.

 


Poultry Puns, KFC Jokes, Tasty Turkey Humor
Dine on plucking funny poultry puns, drumstick jokes, grilled humor and fried chicken laughs.

Chicken Wing Jokes, McNugget Puns, Fry-Day LOLs
(Because Thigh Jokes, Leg Laughs, and the Breast Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If You're Trying to Wing It!)
Warning: Wing It with Caution! Buckets of chicken jokes, fried hen humor, and finger-licking good puns ahead.
| Poultry Jokes | Egg Jokes | Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | BBQ |
| Deli Jokes | Hamburger Puns | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast LOLs |
| Chef Jokes | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Foodie Humor | Waiter Jokes |

Q. What did the hen do when she saw fried chicken? A. She kicked the bucket!Q. What do you get if a pig and a chicken bump into each other? A. Ham and Eggs!Q. Why did McDonald's run out of McNuggets? A. A farmer counted his chickens before they were hatched!

Q. Who's haunting the KFC across the street from Littleton cemetery?
A. Some comedian spoofing Colonel Sanders said it was a poultry-geist.

Q. What did the head chef say to chew out the new guy?
A. This duck is so raw that it's still trying to sell me life insurance!

Q. Where did Neanderthals get their fast food chicken?
A. At Cave FC.

Cooking Point to Ponder: Can free range chicken be cooked on a stove you bought?

Cooking Tip of the Day: When the chef ran out of poultry spice, he just winged it.

Q. What do you need to eat an entire bucket of KFC chicken?
A. Hendurance.

Customer: There's a fly in my chicken soup!
Waiter: Force of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.

Fast Food Pick Up Line: Hey Chick, did you just come from KFC? 'Cause your thighs and breast are giving me a drumstick!

Q. Who is haunting the KFC near Littleton Cemetery?
A. Locals know it's actually cannibal Alferd Packer because he just doesn't have a taste for chicken meat.

Q. How can you tell if chicken wings are virgins?
A. They are not if they have the bone in.

Q. Why did the horny rooster go to KFC? A. He heard there's chicken meet up there!Q. Where did the Psychiastrist eat lunch? A. Kentucky Freud ChickenQ. Why did a rooster go to KFC? A. He wanted to see a chicken strip!

Q. What does it take to be a great poultry chef?
A. It boils down to beating the other chefs to the cutting edge recipes.

Q. What is the favorite tune of the wannabe KFC cook?
A. I Believe I Can Fry.

Q. How are KFC customers and Hannibal Lecter alike?
A. Both love fingers.

I made some Jerk Chicken the other day, but he didn't even say, "Thanks."

Q. What do you get if you cross a chic fashion doll with a grill?
A. Barbie Q Chicken.

Poultry Point to Ponder: Are chickens cheeper by the dozen?

Q. Why did KFC hire geneticists to edit chicken DNA?
A. R&D wanted something CRISPR

Q. Why did the power go out at KFC?
A. Because the circuits were fried.

Pick Up a Poultry Chef Line: Hey big guy, wanna dip your wings in my Buffalo sauce?

Q. What do you call somebody who steals a poultry dish out of your oven?
A. Chicken Pot Pirate.

Q. Who wrote the cookbook, Japanese Grilled Chicken Recipes?
A. Terr E. Yaki.

Q. Why aren't there many good Buffalo wings jokes?
A. Because they're a bit too saucy for some.

Q. Why did the chicken join a band? A. Because it already had drumsticks!Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a centipede? A. Drumsticks for a crowd!Q. Why don't they have toilet paper at KFC? A. Because it's finger-licking good!

Q. Why did the rock drummer go to KFC?
A. He needed some drumsticks.

Q. When is chicken soup not good for you?
A. When you are the chicken...

Q. What happened before the young chef was hired as a fry cook at KFC?
A. The assistant manager grilled him.

Clucking Funny New Slogan at KFC:
All that's missing is the U
.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a ghost?
A. A poultry-geist.

Urban Poultry Point to Ponder: If you have backyard chickens and take care of them, are you a chicken tender?

The chef flew into a rage with his new waiter. "Didn't I tell you to notice when the chicken soup boiled over?" The waiter replied, "I did ­ it was at 4:25."

Q. Why do bulimics eat at KFC?
A. Because the chicken comes in a handy bucket.

Customer: There isn't any chicken in this chicken soup!
Blonde Waiter: Duh, there's no horse in the horseradish, either.

Q. Where does a rooster find the best recipes?
A. In the Betty Cocker Cookbook.

Q. Which R&B funk tribute band only plays at KFC restaurants?
A. Earth, Wind, and Fryer!

Q. What should you do if you don't like the corn at KFC?
A. Blame the Kernel.

Customer: This chicken is nothing but skin and bones.
Waiter: Sorry sir, I didn't know you wanted feathers with that.

Q. What do you call a chicken with lettuce in her eye? A. Chicken Caesar Salad!Q. What do you get if a potato and a chicken bump into each other? A. Yam and Eggs!Q. How did the headless chicken cross the road? A. In a KFC bucket!

Q. How do you grill a chicken?
A. Repeatedly ask her why she crossed the road last night.

Q. What did the hen do when she saw boxed take-out chicken?
A. She kicked the bucket.

The roast chicken dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise, but the fire truck ruined it...

Q. What is chicken pot pie?
A. Three favorite things on the menu at the Colorado edibles cafe.

Q. Why did Mozart fry all his chickens?
A. Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said: "Bach, Bach, Bach."

Paultry Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey Penny, do you eat chicken? 'Cause you can suck my cock.

Q. What happens when two chefs have a poultry cooking contest?
A. The heat is on!

Q. How are popcorn and KFC alike?
A. Both have greasy old kernels.

Q. What do a plastic surgeon and a chicken farmer have in common?
A. Both can supply big breasts.

Q. Why did the chicken just jump into the soup pot?
A. The farmer's wife told her it was a Jacuzzi.

Q. What does the chef say when a goose dinner he makes completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
A. It hit despot.

Q. What do popcorn, water, KFC chicken and ice all have in common?
A. They're all on somebody's bucket list.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite holiday? A. Fangs-Giving!Q. Why do pirates love Thanksgiving? A. Because they get to carrrve the turkey!After rubbing seasonings on the Thanksgiving turkey, the chef had some spare thyme on her hands!

Q. What's the difference between chickens and turkeys in November?
A. Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.

Funny Culinary Tip of the Day: Did you know that good gravy is baste on turkey drippings?

Q. What did the turkey say on Thanksgiving?
A. Real men eat beef!

Q. What do you get if you cross a turkey and a banjo?
A. A musical instrument that can pluck itself.

Q. Why didn't the turkey have dessert on Thanksgiving?
A. Because he was stuffed.

Q. Why did the cranberries turn red?
A. Because they saw the turkey dressing.

Q. What do meat-eaters call it if you serve tofu turkey on Thanksgiving?
A. Pranksgiving.

Q. What is a turkey's favorite Thanksgiving dessert?
A. Peach Gobbler.

Q. Why do pirates like to be on shore leave for Thanksgiving?
A. They're always asked to caRRRve the turkey!

Q. How can you tell the Thanksgiving chefs are have a very serious discussion?
A. They're talking turkey.

A guy went to a big turkey dinner with a taxidermist friend of his. By the end of the evening, he was stuffed!

Q. What do you call distrusting a turkey days before Thanksgiving?
A. A well thawed out plan.

Yes, I know you want me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I just can't stop cold turkey!

Q. Which movie was about a typical family haunted by a turkey?
A. Poultrygeist.

Q. What did the hen turkey say to her naughty kids on Thanksgiving?
A. If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

Q. What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?
A. Lucky!

Q. What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
A. He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

| Poultry Jokes | Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast Jokes |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Foodie Humor |
| Gourmet Grins | Dinner Jokes | Lunch LOLs | Kitchen Gadget Jokes | Nut Jokes | Old Chef LOLs |
| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta Puns | Take Out Food |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Bread | Dessert Puns | 2 | Pie | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda | Beer | Wine |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |

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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes | Travel Jokes | Turf Jokes | Weed Jokes |

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Monstrously Funny PunsCrappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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