Q. Why did the lemon hide from the bully?
A. Because it was yellow.

A lemon walks into a bar. Bartender looks him over and says, "You know, I like you. You've got a lot of a peel."

When life gives you lemons, just find somebody with salt and tequila!

Q. Why did the guy lose his job at the lemonade company?
A. He just couldn't concentrate!

Q. What did the lemon say to the lime?
A. Sour you doing?

Q. Which kind of lemon pie is the favorite of ghosts in Australia?
A. Boo Meringue.

Q. Why was the lemon all by itself?
A. Because the banana split.

Q. What did the lemon grower need for his new startup company?
A. Seed money.

Q. Which kind of lemon performs for charity?
A. Lemon Aid!

Sign at Plastic Surgery Clinic: If life gives you lemons, we can give you melons.

Q. Why did the lemon go to the doctor?
A. It had a sour stomach.

Sour Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, are you a lemon? 'Cause you make me want to pucker up.

Zesty Fruit Fact of the Day: Did you know that lemons and limes like to fight? Yes, they're bitter rivals.

"This lemon is much too sour," Guy said bitterly.

Q. Why did the lemon cross the road?
A. It wanted to play squash.

Q. What did the lemon say when it answered the phone?
A. Yellow.

Q. How do you make a lemon drop?
A. Hold it up high, and then let go.

Q. Which NBC sitcom character is a citrus fruit's favorite?
A. Liz Lemon.

Q. Why did the lemon disapprove of its daughter?
A. She was a little tart.

Q. Which Jurassic creature subsisted on a diet of lemons?
A. The dino-sour.

Q. Why did the lemon stop in the middle of the road?
A. It ran out of juice!

Q. Why did the citrus fruit have transportation problems?
A. Because its car was a lemon.

Q. How can you help an injured citrus fruit?
A. Give it a little lemon aid.

Q. What happened after the orange slept with a dirty lemon?
A. It got lemon AIDs.

Q. Which is a citrus fruit's favorite crayon color?
A. Lemon Yellow.

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