Q. Why did the alien throw beef at an asteroid?
A. He wanted a little meaty-or.

Waiter Serving Soup: It looks like rain today.
Customer: Yes, but it smells like soup!

Impatient Customer: How long do I have to wait for the turtle soup?
Waiter: Well sir, you do realize turtles are really slow...

At lunch, the three little pigs ordered off the vegan menu, but Mary had a little lamb.

Customer: Waiter, what is this?
Waiter: It's bean soup.
Customer: I don't care what it's been. What is it now?

Customer: What is this fly doing on my ice cream sundae?
Waiter: Sir, I believe it's skiing.

Customer: Is there soup on the menu today?
Waiter: No sir, I already wiped it off.

A restaurant that was in financial trouble had to expand to turn the tables.

Q. Where do interstellar aliens eat lunch?
A. On Flying Saucers!

Dumb Customer: The crust on this apple pie was way too tough.
Waiter: Sir, that was the pie pan.

Customer: This food is repeating on me!
Waiter: Great to know. We love repeat business.

Customer: Why hasn't the Board of Health closed this place down?
Waiter: They're afraid to eat here.

Q. What did the taxidermist do on his lunch break?
A. Stuff his face.

Q. What did the waiter at the Texas burger joint say to a horse?
A. Sorry, I can't take your order. That's not my stable.

If a waiter does not succeed at first, he must tray, tray, tray again!

When the waiter spilled a drink on his shirt, the customer said, "Well, I guess this one's on me?"

Customer: There's a bee in my alphabet soup!
Waiter: Yes sir, there's also an A, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K...

Q. What did the lunch buffet at the textbook writer's conference feature?
A. A table of contents.

Customer: I found a ring in my soup.
Waiter: Oh, that must belong to the chef. Let me know if you find his finger.

Q. What is it called when you totally ignore your soup dumplings in a Chinese restaurant?
A. Won-ton disregard.

Two friend attended culinary school together and then opened their own restaurant. Yes, they are taste buds!

Q. Why was the pig hired at the restaurant?
A. He was good at bacon.

Q. Why did the new restaurant owner invite the warehouse staff to lunch?
A. He heard they have good pallets.

Customer: Waiter, there's a hornet in my soup.
Waiter: Yes sir. It's the fly's day off.

A guy took a first date to the local beanery for dinner. She was immediately inflatuated!

Blonde Customer: Waiter, there's a hand in my soup.
Waiter: Duh, that's not your soup, that's your finger bowl.

The diners were fully sated, not realizing the wurst was yet to come!

Ham and Eggs walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve breakfast here."

Restaurant Groaner Joke of the Day: A man walks into a sushi bar. He says, "Ouch!"

Customer: There's a fly drowning in my bowl of breakfast cereal!
Waiter: Just throw him a Cheerio; those make great life preservers.

Q. How many waitresses does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three. Two to whine about it, and one to get the manager.

Tasty Pick-Up Line: Gnome wonder some celebrity chefs are insanely funny?

Greasy Spoon Restaurant Point to Ponder: Is a short order cook just a flash in the pan?

Why isn't there a chain of Elvis Presley steak houses? The slogan would be: For people who love meat tender.

Restaurant Trivia: Back in the 1960s, there was a very colorful eatery called the Psycho-Deli!

The Amish waiter was shocked when I asked for my salad served naked. He smiled when I explained that meant without dressing.

Q. How can you tell if a French restaurant is haunted?
A. It gives you the crepes.

Q. Who's haunting the KFC across the street from the cemetery?
A. Some comedian spoofing Colonel Sanders said it was a poultry-geist.

Q. Which fruit do skeletons eat for lunch?
A. Spineapple.

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