Q. What does the guy at the deli counter call meat from the lower leg?
A. Baloney.

Q. What happened after the cops arrested the guy who beat his victims with lunch meat?
A. He was charged with baloney-ous assault.

Customer: My lunch is talking to me.
Deli Shop Waiter: Yes sir, that's why I don't recommend the tongue sandwich.

Q. What do you call a bloody injury suffered at a delicatessen?
A. Deli-cut.

Q. What does a deli owner say after a first date?
A. Nice meating you.

Q. What happens when two delicatessen workers fall in love?
A. They live together in holy meatrimony!

Q. Which kind of meat does a vocalist order at the deli?
A. Sol La Mi.

Q. What do a locksmith and a Kosher deli owner have in common?
A. Both always have extra lox on hand.

Q. What do you call it when you get distracted by all the different meats at the deli counter?
A. A short attention Spam.

Q. Why did the guy eat so much cheese and cold cuts?
A. Because it's deli-cious

Q. Which British pop star sings about cold cuts and cheese?
A. A-deli.

Q. Why did the Greek man finally stop eating deli cheese?
A. Because he was just getting Feta and Feta.

Q. How did the guy finally end his addiction to deli food?
A. He went cold turkey.

Q. Why didn't the butcher comedian tell jokes about sausages?
A. Because they're the deli wurst.

Delii Point to Ponder: If you buy sausage at a Kosher deli, should you expect a bit of skin to be removed off the top?

Delicatessen Poiint to Ponder: If you're waiting in line at the deli counter and cut the cheese, will you get an employee discount?

Q. How do you get rid of the spam that comes from your delicatessan?
A. You just deli-eat it.

Q. Why didn't the deli cheese want to be sliced?
A. It had grater plans.

Q. What is it like to be adicted to deli meats?
A. It's the wurst!

Q. Where can you buy the best sandwich meats in the Asian subcontinent?
A. Coldcutta, India.

Q. Why was the deli counter guy fired?
A. He kept playing with his meat in front of customers.

Q. Why do you need to be careful when handling thinly sliced cold cuts?
A. Because it's deli-cate.

Q. Why did customers think the deli owner was so funny?
A. 'Cause he had a rye sense of humor.

Q. What is it called when you cut up a long deli sandwich into several pieces?
A. A sub-division.

Q. Why do people tune out repetitive ads for deli meats?
A. 'Cause it's a load of bologna.

Q. Which religious animal enjoys sandwiches made of cold cuts?
A. The Deli Llama.

Today's Kosher Trivia: Back in the 1960s, there was a very colorful eatery called the Psycho-Deli!

Q. Which sandwich shop in India was recently renovated?
A. The New Deli.

Q. Where do South Africans buy their cheese and cold cuts?
A. At the Nelson Mandeli.

Q. Why did the deli owner comedian do so well at Denver Comedy Works?
A. 'Cause he was a real cut-up!

Q. Which secret society dictates cheese procedures at delicatessens?
A. The Halloumi-nati.

Q. Which reptile manages the chain of delicatessens?
A. The deli-gator.

Q. What is the name of the delicatessen owned by a surrealist painter?
A. Salvador Deli.

Q. What did the deli owner say to his mistress when it was over?
A. We have to stop meating like this.

Q. What did the brown bread say to the slice of ham?
A. Rye Me?

Q. What is a cannibal's favorite deli cheese?
A. Limb-burger.

Wurst Deli Joke of the Day: A guy ordered a liverwurst sandwich from a deli, but all he got was two slices of bread. Turns out it was de-livered.

Q. Which delicatessen does not sell beef cold cuts?
A. The New Delhi.

Q. What does an astronaut request at the deli counter?
A. Launch meat.

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