Q. Why is car insurance so expensive for pasta chefs?
A. Because they have a drive to make everything al dente.

Q. What happened after an Italian chef was murdered by being boiled to death in an industrial pasta cooker?
A. Police are still trying to al dente-fy a suspect.

Q. How did the Italian chef get lost?
A. He drove right pasta the turnoff.

Q. What happened when the Italian chef let a blonde borrow his car?
A. She returned it al dente, after seeing her dentist.

My ex-girlfriend bet me that I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I sped right pasta!

Q. How much water should you use to properly cook pasta?
A. A quart orzo.

Q. What do you call a perverse urge to enjoy a certain pasta dish over and over again?
A. A fetish-ini.

Q. Which magical pasta dish can grant you three wishes?
A. Fettu-genie Alfredo.

I've been eating a lot of pasta lately. In fact, it's becoming part of my daily rotini!

Q. Which Italian dish has been shared the most on social media?
A. Copy Pasta.

Italian restaurants are quite pasta oral settings.

Quantum Pasta Point to Ponder: If you mix pasta and antipasto together, is that like mixing matter and anti-matter?

Q. What do you call a really sick pasta dish?
A. Macaroni and Sneeze.

Q. How do you say goodby to an Italian chef?
A. Pasta la vista!

Q. What do you call a cheesy pasta dish you're allergic to?
A. Mac 'N Sneeze!

Q. Why was an Italian chef stuffing the ballot box for the Broadway awards show?
A. He was trying to Rig-a-Tony!

Q. Why didn't the brunette eat at the Italian restaurant?
A. Her blonde friend told her the food cost a pretty penne.

Q. Which kind of pasta sauce is made out of sea breeze?
A. Marine-aira.

Q. What did the over-cooked pasta say to the Italian chef?
A. Hey, don't get saucy with me!

Q. How did the food company come up with the best pasta sauce recipe?
A. They gathered raw data they could pour over.

Q. Which brand of pasta sauce has a bun in the oven?
A. Prego.

Q. What did the Italian restaurant call its promotional offering of one-cent noodles?
A. Penny Pasta.

Q. How did the Italian chef become so rich?
A. He knew every penne saved is a penne earned.

Q. What did the psychic say to her Italian chef customer?
A. A penne for your thoughts.

Q. How much does the finest item on the Italian restaurant's menu cost?
A. A pretty penne.

Q. Which kind of pasta do you want to keep off your face?
A. Ziti.

Q. What do you call the formal study of pasta?
A. Linguini-istics.

Q. Why did the Italian pasta chef come in second in the cooking competition?
A. He made a fusilli mistakes!

Canna Chef Laugh of the Day: There really aren't many good munchie puns about Italian food, other than a fusilli remarks.

Q. What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say before eating spaghetti?
A. Pasta la vista, baby!

Q. What do you get if you cross angel hair and a snake?
A. Spaghetti that wraps itself around your fork!

Q. Where did the spaghetti and sauce go dancing?
A. At the meat ball!

Q. Why was the spaghetti so tired?
A. Because it was pasta bedtime.

Yes, I'm into fitness. Fitness this whole fork full of spaghetti into my mouth.

Q. What do Italians like to eat on Halloween?
A. Fetuccini A-fraid-o!

Q. Which pasta dish is poetically hellish?
A. Al Dente's Inferno.

Q. What do you call a rundown urban area in Italy?
A. A Spa-ghetto!

Q. What do you call a hot and spicy Italian hooker?
A. A pasta-tute.

Q. Why did everybody think the pasta was flirting?
A. Because it was so saucy.

Q.What is the dress code at a pasta convention?
A. Bowtie required.

Q. What do you call a spray that eliminates pasta sauce from your tie?
A. Pesto-cide.

Q. Why couldn't the chef get into the Italian restaurant?
A. He had gnocchi.

Q. What is a locksmith's favorite pasta?
A. Gnocchi.

Q. What do you call fake fettucini?
A. An impasta!

Customer: There's a bee in my alphabet soup!
Waiter: Yes sir, there's also an A, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K...

Q. What might happen if you spill a bowl of alphabet soup?
A. That could spell disaster.

Q. Which kind of dog did the pasta chef own?
A. A Labra-Noodle.

Q. What's the difference between pasta and your opinion?
A. I asked for the pasta.

Q. Which kind of time piece chimes to remind a chef when to make a spicy pasta dish?
A. A couscous clock.

Q. What do zombie college students on a budget eat?
A. Raw-men.

Q. What do you call fake ramen noodles?
A. Im-pastas.

Q. What do you call little wrapped bags discarded by the Chinese restaurant?
A. Dumplings.

Q. What do you call a person who doesn't like pasta and noodles?
A. A weird-dough!

Q. Which kind of pasta is the saddest when it's set aside?
A. Cannelloni.

Customer: What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup?
Waiter: Learning to read?

Q. What does Bruce Wayne enjoy for dinner on a cold winter's night?
A. A bowl of alpha-bat soup.

Q. What might happen if you spill a bowl of alphabet pasta garnished with hot peppers?
A. That could spell indigestion.

Q. Why wouldn't the chef cook with fake noodles?
A. Because the result would be an impasta.

The compensation the famous Italian chef got was a pretty penne.

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