If we got rid of all the margarine and oleo, the world would be a butter place.

Q. What is a dairy farmer's favorite gourd?
A. Butternut squash.

Funny Butter Fact of the Day: The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

Q. What do you churn to make forgetful butter?
A. Milk of Amnesia!

Q. What do you call a butter family reunion?
A. Meeting a butter from an udder mother.

Q. What did margarine say to oleo?
A. You butter back off, pal.

If I told you a rumor about better butter, would you spread it?

Great chef's always use genuine butter because then there's no maragine for error.

Q. What is the favorite tune of the wannabe fast order cook?
A. I Believe I Can Fry.

... And then they tossed mild cheddar at me and I thought how immature!

Did you hear about the new generic margarine? I cannot believe it's not called I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

I've invented Alphabet Butter. Now we just need to spread the word.

Q. What did one slice of bread say to the other when he noticed there was butter and jelly on the table?
A. I guess we're toast.

Q. What do you call mayonnaise or margarine that's halfway toward its expiration date?
A. Middle-age spread.

Butter Pick-Up Line: Things would be a lot butter if you just come over here. I'm bready for you!

More and more housewares stores are selling larger butter knives these days. They're really becoming widespread.

Butter Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I'm as smooth as butter on a steamy hot baked potato.

The Physics of Butter: The chance of bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.

Q. What did Pat say to his girlfriend?
A. You're my butter half.

Did you hear that butter is doing really, really well? Yes, in fact, it's on a roll!

Have you heard the joke about margarine? I'd tell you, but I prefer my humor unsaturated.

Q. Why are greasy food jokes so funny?
A. Because Ttey really butter you up.

Your teeth are so yellow. I can't believe they're not butter.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in this pat!
Waiter: Yes sir, it's a butterfly.

Q. What does a French chef say when a buttery meal he makes completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
A. It hit despot.

Did you hear the hilarious joke about butter? Never mind – I shouldn't spread it.

Q. What does a French chef call the first draft of a new butter recipes cookbook?
A. A menuscript.

Q. Who wrote the toasty book, Born To Eat Unhealthy Fats?
A. Marge R. Rinn.

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