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Q. Why did the monster's mother knit hm three socks for Halloween? A. He grew another foot!
Spock: It is illogical to be lost in space. Smith: You can't do it, can ? You can't kill the man without becoming the monster!
Q. What is the monster's favorite day of the week? A. Freak Day!
Why doesn't anybody get married on WEDnesday?


Monster Jokes, Fiendish Humor, Brutal Puns
4 out of 5 cannibals eat up monstrously funny memes, deadly puns, and frightful monster jokes.

Ghoulish Humor, Monstrous Puns, Scary Jokes
(Because Funny Monster Jokes and Deadly Ghoul Puns Could Never Be TOO Wicked for Mainstream Horror Fans!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Ghoulish humor, scary monster jokes, and bogeyman puns lurk undead ahead.
| Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Skeleton Jokes | Mummy Puns | Scary Funny Jokes | Vampire Humor |
| Cannibal Jokes | Cemetery Jokes | Creepy Clowns | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Halloween Jokes | Halloween Treats | Haunted Music | Jack-O-Lantern Jokes |
| Scary Drinks | Frightful Food | Scary Fun | Spooky Sports | Frightful Fashion | Scary Dentist |
| Scary Animal Jokes | Bat Puns | Bigfoot Sightings | Spider Jokes | Zombie Jokes | Witch Puns |

Q. What is a ghoul's favorite cheese? A. Monster-Ella!Scary Pun: Cannibals Like to Meat People.Eddy Munster Says: Mommy, everybody says I look like a werewolf? Oh, sit down and comb your face!

Q. Why are monsters hipsters?
A. Because they've been coming out of the closet since before it was cool.

Q. Where does Frankenstein go to get a tattoo?
A. Monsters Ink.

Q. What do you call a clever monster?
A. Frank Einstein.

Q. Why does the Frankenstein monster detest social media?
A. Because he has so many followers, and they all have pitchforks!

Q. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A. Spareribs.

Q. What do monsters eat at October barbeques?
A. Hallo-weenies!

Q. What sort of psychic do montrous cannibals like best?
A. Medium rare.

Did you hear about the diabolical cannibal scientist who perfected cloning? Now, he's full of himself.

Q. How do monsters tell the future?
A. They look at their horrorscope.

Q. What is a young monster's favorite toy?
A. His deady bear.

Q. What did the crowd say when Dr. Frankenstein shoved a big beast into a wooden box?
A. You've crated a monster!

Q. Which kind of monster has the best hearing?
A. The eeriest one!

Hulk Says: Chuck Norris does not take showers! He takes blood baths!Q. What do you call wood when it's scared? A. Petrified!Q. What did the vampire say after reading all these painful puns? A. They Suck!

Monstrous Groan of the Day: People say Frankenstein's monster had a bad temper, but actually he was rather level-headed.

Q. How does a werewolf sign his letters?
A. Best Vicious!

Q. Where do monsters like to go hiking?
A. Death Valley.

Q. What should you do if you come across a hulking green monster in the garden?
A. Wait until he's ripe.

Q. Why did Igor work for Dr. Frankenstein?
A. He was trying to make a living.

Q. What kind of vehicle does Frankenstein drive?
A. A Monster Truck!

Q. How does the Frankenstein monster make everybody laugh?
A. He keeps them all in stitches.

Q. What is inscribed on the tombstone of the Frankenstein monster?
A. Rest in Pieces.

Q. Why do monsters like these jokes?
A. Because being evil is devilishly hard work.

Q. What kind of book do monsters like to read?
A. One with a cemetery plot.

Q. What do you call a one-eyed monster riding a Harley?
A. A Cycle-ops!

Q. What happened when Dr. Frankenstein crossed a small dog with a cow?
A. It was a terrier bull idea.

Q. Why is a vampire good to take out for a meal? A. Because they eat necks to nothing!Addams Family Says: Happy Weirds Day!Q. How did the hipster burn his tongue eating pizza? A. He ate it before it was cool!

Q. What did Dr. Frankenstein say after the monster spit on him?
A. It's saliva!

Q. Why did the monster squeeze his ghoulfriend to death?
A. He had a crush on her.

Q. How do you describe it when a vampire pilots a fast plane?
A. A terror-flying experience!

Q. Which 2001 movie was the cheesiest horror film of all time?
A. Muensters Inc.

Q. What do little monsters ride at the amusement park?
A. The Scary-Go-Round.

Q. What does a monster do if he loses his head?
A. He calls a head hunter.

Q. Which Scottish monster likes to hang around people?
A. The Loch Noose Monster.

Q. Why did Godzilla attack the automobile dealership?
A. Because he wanted to pick up trucks.

Q. How do monsters like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried!

Q. Why did the monster pour nacho cheese all over people's feet?
A. He was hungry for Dori-toes.

Did you know that Dr. Frankenstein invented the safety match? Yes, it was one of his more striking inventions.

Q. How can Dr. Frankenstein tell if a vampire is sick?
A. He's coffin.

Q. Which Tom Cruise film was about cooking A. A few good menus!If Satan lost his hair, would there be HELL toupee?Q. How are vampires like false teeth? A. They both come out at night!

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone there was a goblin.

Q. Which rare creature has the worst odds for survival?
A. The Luck Less Monster.

Q. Which side dish does Dr. Frankenstein bring to Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Monster mash potatoes.

Q. Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?
A. For exceeding the feed limit.

Q. Which monster chicken is very creepy?
A. The Grim Peeper.

Q. Which aftershave do monsters wear?
A. Brute!

Q. Why did the monster take a dead man for a ride in his car?
A. Because he was a car-case.

Children look under the bed before going to sleep to check for monsters. Monsters look under the bed to check for Chuck Norris.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. Ouch!

Q. Could a spooky monster reach you through a louvered window?
A. I shutter to think.

Q. Which new Barbie is doing monster sales?
A. FrankenBarbie. She comes with extra body parts and bolts in her neck.

Q. Where does Judge Dracula work?
A. Night Court.

Q. What's creepy and leads to the second floor af a haunted house?
A. Monstairs!

Q. Which mad scientist played a trick on his monster on April Fool's Day?
A. Prankenstein.

Q. Why did the monster take his nose apart?
A. To see what made it run!

Q. What did the optometrist say to the monster, vampire, and zombie patients in his office lobby?
A. You vill see. You vill all see! Muhahahaha!

| Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Skeleton Jokes | Ghost Jokes | Mummy Puns | Witch Puns | Clowns |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |

| Scary Puns | Halloween Jokes | Halloween Treats | Halloween Music | Jack-O-Lantern Jokes |
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| Scary Cocktail Jokes, BOOze Puns, Spooky Drink LOLs | Frightful Food Puns | Scary Party Jokes |
| Scary Sports Jokes | Frightful Fashion Jokes, Scary Clothing Humor | Scary DentistJokes |
| Vampire Jokes | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | Friday the 13th Humor | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Old Never Die Jokes | Chilling Winter Humor | Cold Puns | Holiday Party Jokes | Daily Jokes |

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