Q. What show do pastry chefs watch on HBO? A. Game of Scones: All Men Must Die!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. Why did the monster's mother knit hm three socks for Halloween? A. He grew another foot!
Why doesn't anybody get married on WEDnesday?


Monster Jokes, Fiendish Humor, Brutal Puns
4 out of 5 cannibals eat up our monstrously funny memes, frightful jokes, and deadly puns!

Ghoulish Humor, Monstrous Puns, Scary Jokes
(Because Funny Monster Jokes and Deadly Puns Can Never Be Too Wicked for Mainstream Horror Fans.)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. Ghoulish Jokes and Scary Puns Lie Dead Ahead.
| Halloween | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Halloween Treats | Ghost | Monster | 2 | 3 | Witch |
| Sasquatch | 2 | Skeleton | 2 | Vampire | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Blood | 2 |
Brains | 2 |

Q. What is a ghoul's favorite cheese? A. Monster-Ella!Scary Pun: Cannibals Like to Meat People.Eddy Munster Says: Mommy, everybody says I look like a werewolf? Oh, sit down and comb your face!

Q. Which kind of monster has the best hearing?
The eeriest one!

Q. What do you call a clever monster?
A. Frank Einstein

Q. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A. Spareribs

Q. What do monsters eat at October barbeques?
A. Hallo-weenies!

Q. How do monsters tell the future?
A. They look at their horrorscope.

Q. What is a young monster's favorite toy?
A. His deady bear.

Hulk Says: Chuck Norris does not take showers! He takes blood baths!Q. What do you call wood when it's scared? A. Petrified!Q. What did the vampire say after reading all these painful puns? A. They Suck!

Q. How does a werewolf sign his letters?
Best Vicious!

Q. Where do monsters like to go hiking?
A. Death Valley

Q. What kind of vehicle does Frankenstein drive?
A Monster Truck!

Q. What is inscribed on the tombstone of the Frankenstein monster?
A. Rest in Pieces.

Q. Why do monsters like these jokes?
A. Because being evil is devilishly hard work.

Q. What kind of book do monsters like to read?
A. One with a cemetery plot.

Q. Why is a vampire good to take out for a meal? A. Because they eat necks to nothing!Addams Family Says: Happy Weirds Day!Q. How did the hipster burn his tongue eating pizza? A. He ate it before it was cool!

Q. How do you describe it when a vampire pilots a a fast plane?
A. A terror-flying experience!

Q. Why did the monster squeeze his ghoulfriend to death?
A. He had a crush on her.

Q. What do little monsters ride at the amusement park?
A. The Scary-Go-Round.

Q. What does a monster do if he loses his head?
A. He calls a head hunter.

Q. Why did the monster pour nacho cheese all over people's feet?
He was hungry for Dori-toes.

Did you know that Dr. Frankenstein invented the safety match? Yes, it was one of his more striking inventions.

Q. Which Tom Cruise film was about cooking A. A few good menus!If Satan lost his hair, would there be HELL toupee?Q. How are vampires like false teeth? A. They both come out at night!

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone there was a goblin.

Q. Which aftershave do monsters wear?
A. Brute!

Q. Why did the monster take a dead man for a ride in his car?
A. Because he was a car-case.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. Ouch!

Q. Where does Judge Dracula work?
A. Night Court.

Q. What's creepy and leads to the second floor af a haunted house?
A. Monstairs!

Scary Funny Puns | Frightful Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
| Halloween | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Halloween Treats | Ghost | Monster | 2 | 3 | Witch |
| Sasquatch | 2 | Skeleton | 2 | Vampire | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Blood | 2 |
Brains | 2 |

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