Q. Where do monsters go on vacation?
A. Lake Eerie.

Q. What do young female monsters do at parties?
A. They look for edible bachelors!

Q. Which day of the week do evil monsters celebrate?
A. Fiend Day.

Q. Who is the brightest monster?
A. Frankenshine.

Q. Why wasn't Dr. Frankenstein ever lonely?
A. Because he was good at making new friends.

Q. Which pig actor starred in a movie about Frankenswine?
A. Boaris Karloff.

Q. Who are a werewolf's cousins?
A. The Whatwolves, Whowolves, and Whenwolves.

Q. Which monsters hibernate all winter?
A. Bearwolves.

Q. What do you call a werewolf that doesn't know he's a werewolf?
A. An unaware wolf.

Q. How do monster fairy tales begin?
A. Once Upon a Slime...

Q. How do monsters stay fit?
A. By exorcising regularly.

Q. Where do space monsters live?
A. In a far distant terror-tory.

Q. What did Nessie say to the actual Loch Ness Monster?
A. Long time, no sea!

Q. Who did the teen monster take to the school prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. Is it possible to kill a monster by throwing eggs at him?
A. Yes, that is called egg-stermination!

Q. Which day of the week do big scary monsters enjoy the most?
A. Fright Day.

Q. How is a stupid monster like a jack-o-lantern?
A. They both have empty heads.

Q. Which day do monsters eat people?
A. ChewsDay!

Q. Which popular online reference site is devoted to the world's various evils?
A. Wicked-pedia.

Scary Groan of the Day: Sea monster jokes are Kraken me up.

Q. What do monsters use to get into their houses?
A. Skeleton keys.

Q. Which kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger?
A. The Booger-Man!

Q. Where do you find monster snails?
A. On the end of monster fingers.

Q. Which vampire only eats junk food?
A. Count Snackula.

Q. What does the Loch Ness monster eat?
A. Fish and ships.

Q. How do you communicate with the Loch Ness Monster?
A. Drop him a line.

Q. How did the Bride of Frankenstein help him when he was missing a bolt?
A. She gave him a big screw.

Q. What kind of horse does a monster ride?
A. A nightmare!

Q. How did the monster cure his sore throat?
A. He spent all day gargoyle-ing.

Q. Why did the mommy monster tell her child not to eat uranium?
A. So he wouldn't get atomic-ache.

Q. Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?
A. For exceeding the feed limit.

Q. Why did the monster musician's gig at the graveyard go so badly?
A. Because the crowd was pretty dead.

Q. What is a cannibal's favorite food?
A. Baked Beings.

Q. Who is haunting the KFC near Littleton Cemetery?
A. Locals know it's actually cannibal Alferd Packer because he just doesn’t have a taste for chicken meat.

Q. What is a monster's favorite dinosaur?
A. A terror-dactyl.

Q. Are monsters good at math?
A. Not unless you Count Dracula.

Q. What do you call a vicious ruffian monster who constantly does wicked things?
A. The brute of all evil.

Q. What do young vampires call their parents?
A. Mommy and Batty.

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