I starred in a stage play about puns. Actually, it was just a play on words!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. What is a heckler's favorite slogan? A. Just boo it!
Q. Which famous movie diretor was native to a planet close to Earth? A. Martian Scorsese!
Did you see the Will Smith movie about McDonalds? It's called te Pursuit of Happy Meals!


Actor Jokes, Performer Puns, Hammy Humor
Here's your ticket to theater jokes, movie puns, staged laughs and Oscar-winning humor.

Acting Humor, Drama Jokes, Entertaining Puns
(Because Overly Theatrical Jokes and Dramatic Puns Couldn't Be Too Mainstream in Off Off Broadway Plays!)
Warning: Stage Left at Your Own Risk! Hammy jokes, sappy street performer jokes, and play puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Artist Jokes
| 2 | Author Puns & Literary Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

Q. What award is given to the actor who lost the most muscle tone? A. The Sag Award!Q. What can you say to an annoying street performer? A. Oh, just go and mime your own business!Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight!

Did you hear about the new Broadway show about puns? It was just a play on words.

Q. Have you seen that new movie Constipated?
A. It hasn't come out yet.

Dramatic Point to Ponder: If an actor falls through the floor, is it just a stage he's going through?

Q. What do you call it when a mime is run over by a steamroller?
A. A Silent Film.

Q. What does a mime call a monkey?
A. An imperson-aper!

Q. How does a mime intentionally mess up?
A. He says, "Mime Mistake!"

Q. Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A. Because every play has a cast!

Q. Which type of underwear do actors wear?
A. Movie Shorts.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Well, it depends what the script says...

Did you hear about the pigs who put on a musical? They really like to ham it up!Q. Did you see the movie about a hotdog? A. It was an Oscar Weiner!Q. What does a serious collector of classic films own? A. Reel Estate!

Q. What do hammy pigs like to do?
A. Squeal the spotlight!

Q. Which actor do hammy thespian pigs try not to emulate?
A. Kevin Bacon.

Did you hear about the new movie about the Atkins Diet? It's called, "Dude, Where's My Carbs."

Q. How many method actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Uh, what's the light bulb's motivation?

Q. How is going to a singles bar different from going to the circus?
A. At the circus, the clowns don't talk.

Q. Why did the long-running Broadway play finally close?
A. Because the cast had seen better days.

Q. Why can't kids see the new pirate movie? A. Because it's rated ARRR!Q. Did the annoying mime actually make any mondy? A. Nothing to speak of!Q. What is an actor's favorite day of the week? A. Cues Day!

Q. Which old opera was about a valet's comedic attempt to secure his boat?
A. The Moorage of Figaro.

Q. Which animated film was about a long search for a lost office message?
A. Finding Memo.

Q. Why do mimes like playing the trumpet?
A. It has a lot of mutes!

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, as long as it's a revolving stage.

Q. Which movie proved there will never be life on the Red Planet?
A. Martian Impossible.

Q. Why do cheap guys watch porno flicks backward?
A. Because they like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

Q. What do actors suffer from after starring in an intense role? A. Post-dramatic stress!Q. How are false teeth like stars? A. Both only come out at night!Q. Which Tom Cruise film was about cooking A. A few good menus!

Q. What was the cheesiest 1987 thriller film?
A. Feta Attraction.

Q. How did the mime kick the bucket?
A. He stubbed his pan-toe-mime.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. That's the stage manager's job.

Q. What do you call it when a king has a question and needs to see a ballerina right away?
A. An immediate dancer.

Q. Which Jim Carrey movie was filmed in Denver?
A. Me, Myself, and I25.

Q. What did the guy's parents say when he announced he was going to become a mime?
A. You don't say.

Q. What is a chef's favorite dystopian movie?
A. The Hunger Games.

Q. Which 2001 movie was the cheesiest animated film?
A. Muensters Inc.

Q. Which HBO show do pastry chefs like?
A. Game of Scones: All Men Must Die!

| Actor Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Artist Jokes | 2 | Author Puns & Literary Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Baker | Banker Jokes | Barber | Bartender | Chef Jokes | Chemist | Contractor | Dentist |
| Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord Laughs | Lawyer Jokes | Locksmith |
| Magician | Musician Jokes | Police Puns | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |

| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

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More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Blonde Jokes | Cheesy Puns | Funny Fashion | Light Bulb Jokes | Funny Money | Music Memes |
| Old Never Die Jokes | Pet Puns | Pirate Jokes | Pitiful Pick-Up Lines | Scary Funny Humor |
| Sci-Fi Funnies | Seasonal Puns | Sick Humor | Sports Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Weed Is Punny! |

Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners! Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Monstrously Funny Puns

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