Q. What does a pirate steal in his spare time? A. Arrrt!   PainfulPuns.com - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

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Q. Why did
the cheese
go to the
museum?

A. To get a
little culture.

Q. How many durrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Fish!

Q. Which
institute do
cool cats
like to visit?

A. The
mew-seum.


 


History Museum Jokes, Artifact Puns, Display LOLs
Tour masterful art puns, historically significant humor, exhibit laughs and rare treasures jokes.

Art Museum Jokes, Exhibit Puns, Gallery Humor
(Because Historical Artifact Jokes and Fine Art Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Museum Curators or the NEA!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Rare artifact jokes, historical humor, ancient laughs, and Louvre-ly puns ahead.
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Q. How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to do it and one to say: "Oh, my 4-year-old could have done that!"
 

Q. Where do
artistic cows
exhibit their
artwork?

A. At the
moo-see-um.

 
Cow Chef Asks: Why did yogurt go to the art exhibit? A. Because it was cultured!

Q. What is it called if you're instantly enamoured by a famous French art museum?
A. Louvre at first sight.

Q. Why did the dumb blondes' museum robbery fail?
A. They ran out of gas because they didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make their Van Gogh.

Did you hear about the guy who was accused of stealing all those paintings from the art museum? He tried to brush it of and he claims he was framed.

Museum Pick-Up Line: Are you a piece of art? 'Cause I'd like to nail up against that wall.

Q. Why was the Denver Art Museum curator considered brilliant at judging paintings and sculptures?
A. He had art-official intelligence.

Art Museum Point to Ponder: Is Michelangelo's David considered superior to postmodern sculpture because it's an artifact?

Museum Visitor: Why did Vincent Van Gogh become a talented painter?
Art Curator: Because he didn't have an ear for music.

Museum Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, sorry for staring, but I thought you were a work of art.

Q. Why was the delapidated Clown Museum renovated instead of demolished?
A. 'Cause it's an histerical landmark.

Q. Why couldn't the guy get into the famous knife exibit at the museum?
A. People kept cutting in line.

Q. Why couldn't the guy go to the contraception museum?
A. They wouldn't let him come inside.

Q. What did the cat burglar say to the cops when questione about his theft from a Paris museum?
A. I did it for the Monet.

Q. Why is it
hard to trust
a museum?

A. They have
a lot of
skeletons in
the closet.

 
You might be from Colorado if you've seen this exhibit at the Natural History Museum!
 

Q. Where
does a bard
go when
looking for
inspiration?

A. To the
muse-eum.

Q. What did the visitors say about the vampire's art featured at the Transylvania museum?
A. What a monsterpiece!

Q. How did a dinosaur feel after he was reassemblled at the museum – and then woke up?
A. Puzzled.

Q. Why are there old dinosaur bones inthe museum?
A. 'Cause there aren't any new ones.

Q. Which orange and blue dinosaur skeleton is prominately displayed at Denver Museum of Nature and Science?
A. The Bronco-saurus.

Q. What do Colorado paleontologists call it when a truck full of dinosaur bones has a wreck on I70 on the way to Denver's Museum of Nature and Science?
A. A Jurassic Jam!

Q. What is the timeless pants exhibit at the Levi Straus Museum called?
A. Jean-Eaology.

Q. Why did the sculptor's wife cheat on her husband with a psychic?
A. She wanted to experiment with a new medium.

Q. Why is Musem a codeword for Strip Club to manly men?
A. 'Cause there's no touching there.

Q. Why didn't the guy say hello to his ex-girlfriend when he saw her at the museum?
A. There was just too much history between them.

Q. Who is a pickle's favorite artist? A. Salvador Dilly!
 

Q. What is
erotic
abstract art?

A. It's
the shape of things
to come.

 
Q. What do you call a painting of moonshine equipment? A. A still life!

Museum Visitor: How did Salvador Dali begin his days?
Tour Guide: With a morning bowl of surreal.

Q. What do you get if you cross a surrealist painter and a pugilist?
A. Muhammad Dali.

Art Museeum Pick-Up Line: Girl, how about you Vincent Van Gogh out with me?

Deadly Funny Arti Museum Pick-Up Line: I was not aware that living artists could exhibit here.

Q. Why was the tempera-mental artist arguing with the museum curator?
A. He wasn't in his right frame of mind.

Art Exhibit Visitor: Which relative of Vincent Van Gogh is a really hot ballroom dancer?
Museum Guide: Tan Gogh.

Q. What does a pirate plunder from the museum when he's on shore leave?
A. Arrrt!

Art Museum Pick-Up Line: Girl, you're so fine that you'd make an impression on Monet.

Art Museum Point to Ponder: How can a still-life painting be moving?

Q. What excuse did the art museum thief give the police officer?
A. I've been framed!

Art Museum Visitor: Which dizzy aunt was Vincent Van Gogh's favorite?
Tour Guide: Verti Gogh.

Art Exibit Pick-Up Line: Hey beautiful, if I was an art critic, I'd give you a ravishing review.

Q. Where can
you view
an exibit of
lunar rocks?

A. At the
Space
Moon-seum.

 
Q. How many Existentialists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to screw it in and one to observe... ... ... nothingness!
 

Q. Why did
the jury tour
the city's
museum?

A. To view
Exibit A.

Science Geek: How was your trip to the Sapce Museum?
Geek Friend: The black hole exhibit really sucked.

Q. What will you see at the Air and Space Museum?
A. An empty building.

Fun Art Museum Factoid: Earth without art is just eh.

Today's TV News Flash: Vandals broke into the National Origami Museum in Tokyo. Updates will follow as the story unfolds.

Q. What do Americans call the area of the country with the most museums?
A. State of the Art.

Q. What did one art theif say to his partner at the museum?
A. Grab the Monet and Gogh!

Artful Groan of the Day: A Van Gogh masterpiece was stolen from the museum. Now it's a Vincent Van Gone.

Q. Why did the blonde decide not to visit the pencil museum?
A. 'Cause it was pointless.

Q. What happened to the guy who tried to steal all the head sculptures from the museum?
A. He was busted.

Q. Why are fencers used as security personel at French museums?
A. Because they're always en garde.

Q. How can you tell you're getting old?
A. The alarm goes off when you walk out of a museum. OUCH!

Q. Which cultural facility do exterminators visit most often?
A. The mouse-eum.

You might be from Colorado if you missed this exhibit at the Denver Zoo!
 

Q. Why did
petri dishes spend the
day at the
museum?

A. 'Cause they
were cultured.

 
Q. Why did the picture go to jail? A. It was framed!

Q. Where can you view a colletion of rare antique rat traps?
A. The mouse-see-um.

Museum Visitors: Am I allowed to take picutres here?
Blonde Tour Guide: No, they have to stay on the wall.

Q. What happened when the Scrabble museum was robbed?
A. Curators were at a loss for words.

Old artists never die. They just paint themselves into a coroner.

Q. Why does the Alzheimers Museum have so many repeat visitors?
A. 'Cause there's always something new to see there.

Q. Why don't T-Rex skeletons attack museum visitors?
A. 'Cause they don't have the guts.

Q. Which puns do art critics enjoy?
A. Perfectly illustrated punch lines.

Q. What do you call art work of marginal quality?
A. A doodle.

Q. Why did the blonde aspire to become an art museum tour guide?
A. Because she heard there was lots of Monet in it.

Museum Visitor: How do you influence a fine artist?
Blonde Tour Guide: Easel-y.

Fine Art Point to Ponder: If an artist sketches his work space, will it include a desk drawer?

Q. Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum?
A. Too many frames.

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