Superman Says: Please enjoy your Super Sunday!   PainfulPuns.com - Monstrously Funny, Hulking Pun Jokes, Ouch!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Enjoy the weekend and have a super souper Sunday!
Q. Why did Superman flush the toilet? A. It was his duty!
Ouch! Happy Hurts Day!
Q. What do you call Clark Kent with diarrhea? A. Pooperman!

Happy Wham's Day!
Q. What would you expect to find in Superman's bathroom? A. The Superbowl!
Q. How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. They're not afraid of the dark!

 


Superman Humor, Kryptonite Jokes, S Caped Puns
Suit up for super funny jokes, man of steel humor, Daily Planet puns and Clark Kent jokes.

Superman Jokes, Metropolis Humor, Tight Puns
(Because "Strange Visitor From Another Planet" is Only Mainstream in Metropolis and Roswell, New Mexico!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Peril! Solo free-style flight is so much cooler than self-driving kryptonite cars!
| Superman Jokes | POW! Batman Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Spider-Man Puns | DC Comics Humor |
| Superhero Jokes, Caped Crusader Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Supervillain Jokes |
| Superhero Pick-Up Lines | 2 | The Hulk Hookups | Batman Chat Ups | Superman Come-Ons |
| Marvel Comics Jokes | Superhero Music Jokes | Superhero Loo LOLs | 2 | Female Superheroes |
| Incredible Hulk Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Green Hulk Laughs | Super Chuck Norris Jokes |


Q. Why is Superman's costume so tight? A. Because it's a size S!Q. What does Superman put in his beverages? A. Just ice!Q. Why doesn't Superman have may friends? A. Because he wears his underwear over his pants!

Q. Why does Superman have to carry a power converter with him when he's in the USA?
A. Because he's from the DC Universe.

Q. Why did Superman have a brush with death when his suit was the wrong size?
A. It worked out okay, but it was a narrow S cape!

Q. Why did his girlfriend dump the guy with too many Superman comics in his collection?
A. She said he just had too many issues.

Q. Why did Superman have to leave Krypton?
A. Earth was the only planet where he could get steroids legally.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Whoa babe, did I hit you with my heat vision? 'Cause you are really on fire!

Q. What was the mummy's evil plan to do in Superman this evening?
A. He was going to lure him to the crypt tonight.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, they say I can do just about anything, but I wish I could look as good as you do!

Q. How do you reveal Superman's covert identity?
A. You Kent.

Q. What is Superman's favorite Rolling Stones song?
A.
You Kent Always Get What You Want.

Q. Why does Superman tell jokes while he's out running?
A. Because he's an Action Comic!

Q. Why is Superman afraid of ICE?
A. Because he's an alien and fears being deported!

Superman, Batman, The Flash, Aquaman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar and order five Jack Daniels on the rocks. Bartender asked if they'd like coke or a lemon slice with their order. Superman replied, "No thanks, we're the Just Ice League."

Q. Where did Superman attend college?
A. Kent State.

Q. Why didn't Superman attend the dignitary's funeral and interment in Metropolis this evening?
A. He said he was feeling weak and couldn't go to the crypt tonight.

Q. Why is Batman jealous of Superman?
A. Because Superman got adopted.

Q. Who is the better businessman, Batman or Superman?
A. Superman, because you've never heard of a batmarket.

Q. Why can't Clark Kent pass his eye test at the DMV?
A. His X-ray vision drives him to distraction!

Did you know that Superman and Chuck Norris had a bet? The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants...

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, yes it is true that the suit does come off.

Q. Why does Superman get out of dangerous situations?
A. Because he always has an S Cape.

Superhero Fact of the Day: Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Batman PJs.

Q. What do you get if you cross Superman and a pig?
A. The Man of Squeal.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, wanna find out first hand why they call me the Man of Steel?

Q. What did the horny vampire say to Superman?
A. See you in the Kryp-tonite.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I once lifted a rocket into orbit. Wanna see how high I can take you?

Q. What do you get if you cross the man of steel with beef broth? A. Souper-Man!Q. Where does Superman park his privates? A. On Lois Lane!Q. What would you expect to find in Superman's bathroom? A. The Superbowl!

Q. Why is Superman a really bad date?
A. Even though he's been flying around for hours, he won't stop to ask for directions.

Q. Why won't the Man of Steel eat canned soup?
A. It comes in tin cans.

Q. What is Superman's favorite candy?
A. Clark Bars.

Q. What did Jimmy Olsen find in Clark Kent's kitchen?
A. A super bowl.

Q. Why does Superman move all his Bitcoin investments into a mutual fund after sunset?
A. To protect himself from Crypto night.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey lady, I'm from another planet, so how about you teach me about human anatomy?

Q. Why does Superman only daytrade Bitcoin?
A. Because he can't go near Crypto at Night.

Q. Why is Lois Lane deaf in one ear?
A.
Due to the super snoring.

Q. What did Lois Lane find in Clark Kent's pants?
A. Super balls.

Q. Why did Lois Lane break up with Superman?
A. Because he claimed even X-ray vision couldn't penetrate her meatloaf!

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, I think your clothes are made of Kryptonite, so you need to remove them immediately!

Q. Why did Lois Lane summon Superman to her kitchen?
A. Her microwave was on the fritz and she knew he could zap her leftovers with his heat vision.

Q. Which gang did punk teen Superman belong to, the Bloods or the Crips?
A. Both, he was a Blood by day and a Kryp-tonite.

Did you know that whenever Superman left the toilet seat up, he blamed it on Clark Kent? True story!

Q. Where does Superman do his duty?
A. In the Super Can.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey there babe, you seem stressed. Wanna come back to my fortress of solitude.

Q. What was the money on Superman's home world called?
A. Krypton-currency.

Q. Why didn't Perry White work for the Daily Star?
A. Because George Taylor was still tweaking the Planet Daily.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, you know they call me the Man of Steel. Well parts of me, anyway.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Baby, they say I have the power to do just about anything, but I wish I had the power to look that good!

Q. What is Superman's favorite part of this joke? A. The Punch Line!Q. What is red and blue and goes a million miles per hour? A. Superman in a blender!Q. What would you expect to find in Superman's kitchen? A. A Super Bowl!

Q. Why is Superman afraid to go out after dark?
A. Because of krypto-night!

Q. Why did Lois Lane break up with Superman?
A. Because she knew there wasn't really any kryptonite under the bed!

Q. Why is Superman the best candidate for a management position in city planning in Metropolis?
A. Because he has supervision.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I can be anywhere on the planet in a minute. Wanna come along for the ride?

Q. Who was Superman's arch enemy back in prehistoric times?
A. T-Rex Luthor.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, you must be made of Kryptonite 'cause you are making me weak in the knees.

Q. What do British royals call Superman's fist?
A. The Duke of Kent.

If Superman can do it, does that mean Clark Kent?

Q. How long does it take Superman to fly across the country?
A. Under an hour – unless he's on standby.

Q. How did Lois Lane know that was Superman in bed?
A. Because he always came as fast as he could!

Q. Where does Superman go for a quick ride?
A. On Lois Lane.

Q. Why doesn't Superman like to party after dinner?
A. He can't handle Kryto-Night.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you have heat vision too? 'Cause you are melting my heart with just one glance.

Q. Who is faster, Superman or the Flash?
A. Neither, the cameraman is!

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, even if there wasn't gravity on Earth, I'd still fall for you.

Q. Why is Clark Kent such a lousy chef?
A. His cooking is super bland.

Q. What does Clark Kent eat ice cream out of?
A. A Super Scooper Bowl.

Q. What do you get if you cross the man of steel with chowder?
A. Souperman.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, it's a good thing I've got frozen breath, because you look dangerously hot!

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, my super vision lets me see for miles and miles and miles, but you are the only thing I want to look at.

Q. What is Superman's preferred payment method?
A. Krypto Currency.

Q. What happened after the guy who invented Bitcoin was given a title by the queen?
A. He incapacitated Superman because now he is a crypto knight.

Superman Says: If Monday had a face, I would punch it!Superman, Santa Claus, and a blonde saw $1 on the sidewalk. Who picked it up? A. The blonde, because the other two don't exist!Q. What is Superman's favorite drink? A. Fruit Punch!

Did you know that when Clark Kent goes into a phone booth, Superman comes out? But when Chuck Norris walks into a phone booth it explodes and Chuck just walks away!

Q. What did Lois Lane find in Clark Kent's bathroom?
A. A super bowl.

Q. When does Superman sleep?
A. At Kryto-Night.

Metropolis Factoid of the Day: Superman can save the world, but Clark Kent...

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, did you know that when I hold someone really close, they become invulnerable?

Q. How did Superman increase his personal wealth in the 2010s?
A. He heavily invested in Krypto currency.

Superman flew to the top of the Empire State Building to challenge King Kong to a fight, but Kong declined saying, "No time now. I have to catch a plane."

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey Lois, as the last survivor of Krypton, I have a duty to ensure my race does not die out.

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Actually, those are just a few of Chuck Norris's warmup exercises.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Excuse me miss, I'm from another planet. How about you teach me about human anatomy?

Q. Which holidays do citizens of Metropolis celebrate?
A. Christopher Eves.

Did you know Superman has a brother who does not celebrate Christmas? Yeah, his name is No-El.

Q. What does the Jewish Superman say when he takes off from Miami?
A. Up, Up, and Oy Vey!

Q. Why did Superman have to go by the alias "Clark Kent?"
A.
Because the name "Chuck Norris" was already taken in the future!

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hello girl. I think your clothes are made of Kryptonite, so you'll need to remove them immediately.

Q. Why was young Superman the only kid enjoying the playground?
A. Because the sign said, "Supervision Required."

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, wanna test out if I can transfer any of my super powers?

Q. Where does Lex Luthor like to go hiking?
A. Mt. Baldy.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you have heat vision too? 'Cause you can melt my heart with just one look.

Q. What is the name of Superman's home planet in the other dimension?
A. Kryptoff.

Q. What could Clark Kent say in 1940 that is equally applicable today?
A. "I'm sorry I can't help you. I can't find a phone booth right now."

Q. Where does Superman like to go on vacation when he's in the Southern Hemisphere?
A. Cape Town.

Q. Why doesn't Superman need a boss?
A. Because he already has supervision!

Q. Why does Superman hate trading Bitcoin after dinner?
A. Because it's Crypto-night.

Q. Why did Superman leave Krypton?
A. Because it's so easy to get steroids on Earth.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Bae, my weakness isn't Kryptonite. It's dat ass of yours!

Q. What do Superman and Batman have in common?
A. Neither one of them has to worry about dad jokes.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I can fly anywhere in the universe, but only you can take me to heaven.

Q. Who would Superman never hire to repair the gopher holes in his lawn?
A. General Zod.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, have you ever wanted to gaze upon Metropolis from the air?

| Superman Jokes | POW! Batman Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Spider-Man Puns | DC Comics Humor |
| Superhero Jokes, Caped Crusader Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Supervillain Jokes |
| Superhero Pick-Up Lines | 2 | The Hulk Hookups | Batman Chat Ups | Superman Come-Ons |
| Marvel Comics Jokes | Superhero Music Jokes | Superhero Loo LOLs | 2 | Female Superheroes |
| Incredible Hulk Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Green Hulk Laughs | Super Chuck Norris Jokes |


PainfulPuns Home
Super, you've lasted this far, so here's even more stupendous humor,
manly laughs
, steely jokes and powerful painful puns to rock your Metropolis:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Blonde Jokes | Beefy Puns | Bodybuilder Jokes | Broncos Jokes | Cheesy Puns | Fitness Humor | Gym Jokes |
| Hipster Jokes | Music Memes | Pick-Up Lines | Pirate Jokes | Police Puns | Q. Riddlers | Sasquatch Jokes |
| Sax and Violins Puns | Sci-Fi Funnies | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tourist Puns | UFO Jokes | Weed Jokes |

Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners! Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch! Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.