Superman Says: Please enjoy your Super Sunday! - Monstrously Funny, Hulking Pun Jokes, Ouch!

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Superman Humor, Kryptonite Jokes, Caped Puns
Super funny jokes, man of steel humor, Daily Planet puns and Clark Kent jokes!

Superman Jokes, Super Humor, Tight Puns
(Because "Strange Visitor From Another Planet" is Only Mainstream in Metropolis and Roswell, NM)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. Solo free-style flight is so much cooler than self-driving cars!
| Batman | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Superman | Superhero | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | The Hulk |

Q. Why is Superman's costume so tight? A. Because it's a size S!Q. What does Superman put in his beverages? A. Just ice!Q. Why doesn't Superman have may friends? A. Because he wears his underwear over his pants!

Q. Why did Superman have to leave Krypton?
A. Earth was the only planet where he could get steroids legally.

Q. What is Superman's favorite Rolling Stones song?
You Kent Always Get What You Want

Q. Why can't Clark Kent pass his eye test at the DMV?
A. His X-ray vision drives him to distraction!

Q. What do you get if you cross the man of steel with beef broth? A. Souper-Man!Q. Where does Superman park his privates? A. On Lois Lane!Q. What would you expect to find in Superman's bathroom? A. The Superbowl!

Q. Why is Superman a really bad date?
A. Even though he's been flying around for hours, he won't stop to ask for directions.

Q. Why won't the Man of Steel eat canned soup?
A. It comes in tin cans.

Q. Why is Lois Lane deaf in one ear?
Due to the super snoring.

Q. Why did Lois Lane break up with Superman?
A. Because he claimed even X-ray vision couldn't penetrate her meatloaf!

Did you know that whenever Superman left the toilet seat up, he blamed it on Clark Kent? True story!

Q. Why didn't Perry White work for the Daily Star?
A. Because George Taylor was still tweaking the Planet Daily.

Q. What is Superman's favorite part of this joke? A. The Punch Line!Q. What is red and blue and goes a million miles per hour? A. Superman in a blender!Q. What would you expect to find in Superman's kitchen? A. A Super Bowl!

Q. Why is Superman afraid to go out after dark?
A. Because of krypto-night!

Q. Why did Lois Lane break up with Superman?
A. Because she knew there wasn't really any kryptonite under the bed!

Q. How long does it take Superman to fly across the country?
Under an hour – unless he's on standby.

Q. How did Lois Lane know that was Superman in bed?
A. Because he always came as fast as he could!

If Superman can do it, does that mean Clark Kent?

Q. What does Clark Kent eat ice cream out of?
A. A Super Scooper Bowl

Q. What do you get if you cross the man of steel with chowder?
A. Souperman

Superman Says: If Monday had a face, I would punch it!Superman, Santa Claus, and a blonde saw $1 on the sidewalk. Who picked it up? A. The blonde, because the other two don't exist!Q. What is Superman's favorite drink? A. Fruit Punch!

Did you know that when Clark Kent goes into a phone booth, Superman comes out? But when Chuck Norris walks into a phone booth it explodes and Chuck just walks away!

Q. Why did Superman have to go by the alias "Clark Kent?"
Because the name "Chuck Norris" was already taken in the future!

Q. Where does Lex Luthor like to go hiking?
A. Mt. Baldy

Q. What could Clark Kent say in 1940 that is equally applicable today?
A. "I'm sorry I can't help you. I can't find a phone booth right now."

| Batman | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Superman | Superhero | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
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