A Dyslexic Man Walks Into a Bra   PainfulPuns.com - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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Q. Where does Superman park his privates? A. On Lois Lane!
Q. What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach? A. A Pything!
Q. Why don't roosters wear pants? A. Their peckers are on their faces!
Gnome Shoes, Gnome Shirt, Gnome Service!
Pirate Pick-Up Line: I must be a pirate because I am digging your booty!
Q. What happened when Yeoman Rand said there was a peephole in her cabin door? A. Captain Kirk promised t look into it!
Gnome Buddy, do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
Q. What do you call a pig that likes to take off her clothes? A. Bacon Strips!
Hulk Asks: What do you call the heavy breathing someone makes while trying to hold a yoga pose? A. Yoga Pants!
Gnome nudist colony ahead. You've been warned!


Bra Jokes, Underwear Puns, Lingerie Humor
Get down to basics with intimate apparel humor, panty puns, brief grins and uplifting bra jokes.

Underwear Jokes, Brief Laughs, Undies Puns
(Because Underwear Jokes and Tighty Whitey Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You've Got a Wedgie!)
Warning: Disrobe with Caution! Unmentionable jokes, thong humor, and bra puns you'll wonder about ahead.
| Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns, Brief Laughs | Pantyhose Pun, Sock Jokes | Shoe Jokes |
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| Women's Fashion LOLs, Ladies Apparel Puns | Colorado Fashion Jokes | Eyeglasses Jokes |

Q. Why doesn't Superman have may friends? A. Because he wears his underwear over his pants!Q. What is a Zebra? A. 25 Sizes Larger Than an A Bra!

Q. Which type of underwear do B-list actors wear?
A. Movie Shorts.

Q. Why do men breathe heavy when they see sexy women's underwear?
A. Because they're called panties.

Tighty Whitey Trivia: The best underwear jokes are brief.

Q. What happened to the guy who tried to rob a bank wearing underwear as a mask?
A. The cops arrested him after a quick debriefing.

Q. How fast does Captain Underwear travel?
A. At the Speedo of light.

Q. How do you describe angry underwear?
A. Crotchety!

Fascinating Fashion Point to Ponder: Why is it so hard to find clean underwear jokes?

Q. What is your underwear's favorite shoe style?
A. The wedge. OUCH!

Q. What did the blonde policewoman wear to the stake out?
A. An underwire bra!

Q. What do you call a well-fitted bra?
A. A girl's breast friend.

Q. What did the bra say to the hat?
A. You go on a head, while I give these two a lift.

Q. Why did the blonde take her bra off while attending a show at Comedy Works in downtown Denver?
A. Because she liked to laugh her straps off!

Q. What does a lady magician wear under her cloak?
A. An abra-cadabra.

Q. Why did the blonde love wearing her new bra to the movies?
A. It was great for catching the stray popcorn.

Cup-Size Point to Ponder: Starbucks or Victoria's Secret? Which charges more per cup?

Q. Why was the computer so shy?
A. Because it had software and hardware, but no underwear!

Q. Which brand of underwear do stylish thermometers wear?
A. Kelvin Klein.

Q. How do you know you bought the wrong size underwear?
A. When you put them on, you can hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at you.

Q. Why did the blonde show up for the press conference in just her underwear?
A. She heard they were doing a debriefing.

Q. Which kind of underwear do lady math teachers wear?
A. Algebras.

Q. Why did the nicely enowed mermaid wear seashells?
A. Because B-shells were too small.

Q. What does a mermaid wear to math and botony classes?
A. An algae-bra, naturally!

Music Pick-Up Line: I don't play guitar, but I'll pluck your G string!A guy walks into a psychiatrist office wearing only plastic wrap shorts. Shrink says: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."Chimp tells a bar joke: A dyslexic guy walks into a bra!

Q. Why do women toss underwear to guitarists on stage?
A. In case their G-string breaks.

Pick-Up a Guitar Player Line: Hey baby, I'd love to strum on your G-string.

Q. Whcih kind of underwear do distance runners wear?
A. Marathongs.

Q. How are granny panties better than thongs?
A. Granny panties cover your ass, but thongs get all up in your shit.

Q. Why don't witches wear underwear?
A. So they get a better grip on their broomstick.

Q. Why did the stripper get bored with her occupation?
A. Because it's always the same old thong and dance.

Q. What did the underwear model have to do to prepare for the photo shoot?
A. He had to be well-briefed.

Q. Why do pirates wear underwear?
A. To hide their booty.

Q. Do old underwear sales reps ever die?
A. No, they just lose their briefs.

Q. What do comfy men's underwear and great dance halls have in common?
A. Plenty of ball room.

Patient: Doc, I hear voices coming from my underwear.
London Shrink: Don't listen to it. That's just talking bullocks.

Husband: Hon, where did my underwear go?
Blonde Wife: Oh, they're in your brief case.

Q. What does a Colorado storm cloud expose when opens its raincoat?
A. Thunderwear!

Seductive Woman: Undress me with your words.
Wouldbe Beau: There's a spider in your bra.

Q. Why did the dunce wear his underwear on his head?
A. 'Cause he was a real pee brain.

Q. How are a bag of potato chips and a push-up bra alike?
A. Both are half empty when you open them up.

Uplifting Groan of the Day: A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He's lucky it was padded.

Q. Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
A. To separate the dairy from the hairy.

Q. How are a bar and a bra alike?
A. Men enjoy being inside them.

Q. Why did the blonde guy trip over his girlfriend's bra?
A. 'Cause it was a booby trap.

Q. How are a bar and a bra alike?
A. Both offer varying cup sizes.

Q. What does the geologist call his wife's bra?
A. An over-the-shoulder boulder holder.

Today's Uplifting Underwear Joke: A dyslexic man walks into a bra... Either way, he'll have two cups.

Q. Why did the online bra store have so many bad reviews?
A. There were many complaints about poor customer support.

Q. How do you say bra in German?
A. Holdstitsfromfloppin.

Batman asks: What does Batgirl wear to bed? A. Her Dark Knight Gown!Captain Kirk Says: Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!Q. Why did a rooster go to KFC? A. He wanted to see a chicken strip!

Q. What did the undercover underwear say to the hat?
A. You go on a head, and I'll cover the rear.

Customer at Victoria's Secret: Is this underwear satin?
Blonde Sales Clerk: No, they're new.

Lingerie Store Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, are you hiding opiates in your bra? 'Cause I see a perky set.

Q. Which unknown fashion designer covertly wrote the stylish best seller, Underware Problems?
A. Lou C. Lastic.

Q. What is the name of the new lingerie store for plus size women called?
A. King Thongs.

Q. Why do pirates like seeing thongs when they visit the beach?
A. Because it's all about the booty.

Q. How are bras and best friends alike?
A. Both are there for support.

Q. What do girl teddie bears wear?
A. Plush-up bras.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. If you've ever wondered about what Starfleet underwear looks like, or thought about designing the undies for the end-all Star Trek series.

Q. Why did Captain Kirk discontinue his line of women's undies?
A. 'Cause in hindsight, the name Shatner Panties wasn't the best way to go.

Q. What does Bill call his new line of Star Trek theme designer women's jeans that are roomy enough for adult diapers?
A. Shatner Pants.

Q. Why do waitresses at Hooters wear push-up bras?
A. Because they work in a breastaurant!

Q. What do nail polish and women's underwear have in common?
A. Both come off with alcohol.

Underwear Pick-Up Line: Girl, did you get those panties on sale? 'Cause at my house, they're 100% off.

Q. Why don't nuns wear bras?
A. Because God suports them.

Q. What kind of underwear do sexy monkeys wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.

Q. What do you call a whale that isn't wearing underwear?
A. Free Willy.

Q. Why do hipster horses in Colorado wear bikini underwear?
A. Because it doesn't ride up on them.

Q. Why don't race horses from Colorado wear underwear?
A. Because it rides up on them.

Q. Why did the duck wear underwear?
A. To cover up his butt quack.

Q. What do you call it when somebody trips over a bra?
A. A booby trap.

Q. Where do plastic surgeons shop before a boob job?
A. Breast Buy.

Have you seen this year's brand new blonde Dr. Barbie plastic surgeon doll? It operates on DD batteries!

Hulk Humor: My Zipper Broke, But I Fixed It on the Fly!Stop undressing me with your eyes. Use your teeth instead!Q. Why did a guy keep throwing monopoly money at the stripper? A. She kept putting fake boobs in his face!

Incredible Factoid: The Hulk doesn't wash his shorts. He disembowels them.

Fashion Point to Ponder: Are yoga pants the push-up bra for your butt?

Q. Which type of underwear do beginner pugilists wear?
A. Amateur Boxers.
Q. Why did the skeleton wear a party hat on his knee?
A. The bonehead thought it would be funny.

Punchy Point to Ponder: Which kind of underwear do boxers wear?

Q. Which kind of a snake wears edible underwear?
A. The Pie-Thong!

Q. What happened when the boxer fought his underwear?
A. The bout was very brief.

Q. Which brand of underwear was recalled because it explodes?
A. Fruit of the Boom.

Q. What did Jane call Tarzan's loin cloth underwear?
A. An under-the-butt nut hut.

Q. What did the guy with five penises say about his new underwear?
A. It fits like a glove.

A woman in pain went to her doctor with a piece of lettuce sticking out of her underwear. The doctor said, "That looks uncomforable." The woman replied, "Doc, that's just the tip of the iceberg."

Q. Which type of underwear do Frisbee players wear?
A. Disc Jockeys.

Q. How do you taunt a mime?
A. Say, "I see London, I sse France, I see Marcel's underpants."

Q. What do you call an historic underwear riot?
A. The Boxer Rebellion.

Q. Which type of underwear do race horses wear?
A. Short Jockeys.

Q. Which kind of underwear comes with a GI Joe doll?
A. None. 'Cause they go comando.

Underwear Pick-Up Line: Hanes there, how you doin'?

Q. How are tight underwear and smiles alike?
A. Both lift your cheeks.

Q. Why didn't the new perforated underwear design sell well?
A. Because it was a tear-able idea.

Q. What is a collection of old underwear called?
A. A brief history.

Q. Which brand of underwear do rug makers wear?
A. Fruit of the Loom.

Q. How are underwear and intelligence alike?
A. Both are important to have, but not necessary to show off.

Q. What did the boob say to the bikini?
A. You're my breast friend!

Q. What kind of underwear do reporters wear?
A. News Briefs.

Q. What did Tarzan have under his loincloth?
A. A py-thong.

Q. What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house?
A. Depends. Not a joke – Wear Depends!

Fun Fashion Factoid: If your cup is only half full, you're wearing the wrong bra size.

Q. What is it called when a guy's wife takes off her shirt and bra in the middle of an argument?
A. A booby trap.

Q. What is a nasty name for women's undies?
A. Cuntainers.

Q. Which type of underwear do tycoons wear?
A. Cash Drawers.

Q. What do girl Teddys do to make themselves look larger?
A. They wear plush-up bras.

Q. Which kind of underwear do lawyers wear to court?
A. Legal briefs.

Q. Which kind of underwear do sketch artists prefer?
A. Drawers.

Q. Which brand of underwear do locksmiths wear?
A. Jockeys.

Q. Which brand of underwear do apple growers wear?
A. Fruit of the Loom.

Q. Which kind of snake is into sexy underwear?
A. A Py-thong.

Q. Why did the dumb-ass politician attend the press conference wearing only his underwear?
A. He wanted to do a news briefing.

Q. What do men really want from their underwear?
A. A bit of support and a lot of freedom.

Q. What do you call a short underwear synopsis?
A. A brief discussion.

Q. What does Mrs. Claus call Santa when he's not wearing any undies?
A. St. Knickerless.

Q. What did the guy say when he got underwear for Christmas?
A. In with the new and out with the holed.

Q. What happened when the underwear factory in Chidago exploded?
A. Nothing was left but da briefs.

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