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I used to be a tailor, but I found the work to be so-so.

Q. What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs? A. Anything you want. He can't hear you!
Barely legal police pick-up line: Am I wearing a bullet-proof vest? Nah, it's all muscle!


High Fashion Jokes, Style Humor, Clothing Puns
Try on fitting underwear jokes, brief laughter, designer fashion humor and clothes call puns.

Tailor Jokes, Underwear Puns, Fashion Humor
(Because Sew Funny Fashion Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Tailors, Dress Makers, or Seamstresses!)
Warning: Dress for Success with Caution! Jean-ius jokes, fun fashion humor, and fully outfitted puns ahead.
| High Fashion Jokes | 2 | 3 | Fashion Designer Jokes | Hat Puns | Shirt Jokes | Pants Jokes |
| Women's Fashion, Ladies Apparel Puns | Shoe Jokes | Sock Jokes | Colorado Fashion Jokes |
| Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns | Scary Fashion Puns | Eyeglasses LOLs | Furniture Jokes |
| Bad Hair Jokes | Men's Hair Jokes, Bald Puns | Wig Jokes, Toupee Puns | Hair Salon Humor |

Q. Why did the belt go to jail? A. Because it held up a pair of jeans!Q. What do you call a pig that likes to take off her clothes? A. Bacon Strips!Q. What's the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer? A dressmaker sews what she gathers and a farmer gathers what he sows!

Q. Why don't we wear cardboard belts?
A. Because that would be a waist of paper.

Q. What do you call the colorful guy who invented denim pants?
A. A blue jean-ius!

Q. How do you describe it when your blue jeans are all worn out?
A. They're on their last legs.

Q. What what the timeless pants exhibit at the Levi Straus Museum called?
A. Jean-Eaology.

Q. Why did Levi Strauss will his company to his nephews?
A. He wanted to keep it in the genes.

Q. Why did the blonde show up for the press conference in just her underwear?
A. She heard they were doing a debriefing.

Q. What did the underwear model have to do to prepare for the photo shoot?
A. He had to be well-briefed.

Q. What do the cops call a person who has been debriefed?
A. Nudist.

Q. Why do waitresses at Hooters wear push-up bras?
A. Because they work in a breastaurant!

Fun Fashion Factoid: If your cup is only half full, you're wearing the wrong bra size.

Q. What did the dress maker say when pressured about when the gown would be ready?
A. She hemmed and hawed.

Q. How does a seamstress describe her job?
A. It's just sew, sew.

Q. Which kind of dress can't be worn?
A. An address.

Sew Funny Laugh of the Day: When the tailor quickly hemmed the suit pants, he made it seam so easy.

Q. Which type of underwear do race horses wear?
A. Short Jockeys.

Hulk Humor: My Zipper Broke, But I Fixed It on the Fly!Captain Kirk Says: Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!Q. What did the policeman say to his belly button? A. You're under a vest!

Q. What kind of underwear do reporters wear?
A. News Briefs.

Q. What do you call an historic underwear riot?
A. The Boxer Rebellion.

Q. What do men really want from their underwear?
A. A bit of support and a lot of freedom.

Q. Which type of underwear do beginners wear?
A. Amateur Boxers.

Q. Do old underwear sales reps ever die?
A. No, they just lose their briefs.

Q. Which type of underwear do actors wear in cameo appearances?
A. Movie Shorts.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. If you've ever wondered about what Starfleet underwear looks like, or thought about designing the undies for the end-all Star Trek series.

Q. Why did Captain Kirk discontinue his line of women's undies?
A. 'Cause in hindsight, the name Shatner Panties wasn't the best way to go.

Q. Which type of underwear do Frisbee players wear?
A. Disc Jockeys.

Q. What happened when the lawyer became a tailor?
A. He started sewing everybody!

Q. What do well-dressed attorneys wear to court?
A. Lawsuits.

Q. Which type of underwear do judges wear?
A. Legal Briefs.

Q. Which type of underwear do tycoons wear?
A. Cash Drawers.

Q. What kind of underwear do sexy monkeys wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.

Q. Why doesn't Superman have may friends? A. Because he wears his underwear over his pants!Why gnomes always wear hats.Q. How does a farmer mend his pants? A. With a cabbage patch!

Q. How do you describe angry underwear?
A. Crotchety!

Q. How is tight underwear like a smile?
A. It makes your cheeks go up!

Q. How do you know you bought the wrong size underwear?
A. When you put them on, you could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at you.

Q. Why don't witches wear underwear?
A. So they get a better grip on their broomstick.

Q. What does a fashion designer call coloring agents like henna or indigo?
A. Standard dyes.

Q. If you have $10 in your pocket and you lose $5, what do you have in your pocket?
A. A hole.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat?
A. Tyrannosaurus Tex!

Q. Why did the man enjoy his matted wool hat?
A. 'Cause it felt great.

Fashion Point to Ponder: If brides wear white because they're pure, why do grooms wear black?

Q. Why did the leopard wear striped pants?
A. So he wouldn't be spotted.

Q. Why did the corporate stuffed shirt pass out while he was shopping for casual Friday attire?
A. We don't have the faintest idea…

Q. If you glue dollar bills to your sneakers, what would you call them?
A. Cashews.

Q. Why did the jalapeno wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a little chilly.

Q. Why did the tomato blush?
A. It saw the salad dressing.

Q. Why did the blonde tailor have his eyes replaced with yarn balls?
A. Because he wanted fiber optics.

Q. What happened when the guy decided to try on the pants he wore on his wedding day on his 5th wedding anniversary?
A. It was a waist of time.

Q. What do you call neckwear that begins with the letter A, B, C, or D?
A. Alphabet ties.

Q. Which kind of sweet does a banker keep in his suit pocket?
A. InvestMints.

Q. What do you call a hat for the brain? A. Thinking cap!Hulk Asks: What do you call the heavy breathing someone makes while trying to hold a yoga pose? A. Yoga Pants!Q. Did the smoker get everything he wanted for Xmas? A. Clothes, but no cigar!

Q. Where do crazy hat ladies live?
A. Mad-hattan, NY.

Fashion Point to Ponder: Can a one-armed man buy clothing a second hand store?

Q. Where do toads and frogs hang their hats and coats?
A. In the croak-room.

Q. Which angry guy absolutely will not go outside without his hat?
A. A hot head!

Q. What do you call the eighteenth Greek letter when worn as a mark of shame?
A. A Sigma Stigma.

Q. If coffee loving ROTC cadets had a fraternity, what would they wear?
A. Kappa Chinos.

Fashion Point to Ponder: Are yoga pants the push-up bra for your butt?

Q. Why shouldn't you trust a Scottish tailor?
A. You might get your butt kilt.

Q. What are a ghost's favorite pants?
A. Boo Jeans!

Q. What does Bill call his new line of Star Trek theme designer women's jeans that are roomy enough for adult diapers?
A. Shatner Pants.

Q. Which superhero wears a long-sleeved belted robe instead of a cape?
A. Caftan Marvel.

Q. What kind of pants won't you ever see at the muscle gym?
A. Slackers.

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. – Joan Rivers

Q. What's the biggest problem with snow boots?
A. They melt!

Q. What do you call a heated debate about gloves vs mittens?
A. The subject at hand.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a goat?
A. A Coat!

Fashion Factoid: Ugly Christmas sweaters aren't even supposed to be a joke!

Q. Which pants do you wear to church?
A. Hole-y ones.

| Fashion Jokes and Clothing Puns | 2 | 3 | Hat Jokes, Cap Puns | Pants Jokes, Trouser Humor |
| Fashion Designer Jokes | Colorado Fashion | Shirt Jokes | Perfume Puns | Salesman Jokes |
| Women's Fashion, Ladies Apparel Puns | Shoe Jokes | Stocking Jokes | Scary Fashion Puns |
| Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns, Brief LOLs | Eyeglasses Jokes | Furniture Jokes | Bed Puns |
| Bad Hair Jokes and Barber Puns | 2 | Men's Hair Jokes, Bald Puns | Wig Jokes, Toupee Puns |
| Hair Salon Jokes and Stylist Puns | Blonde Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Hookup Lines |
| Shopping Jokes, Sale Puns | Store Jokes, Shop Puns | Grocery Store Jokes, Supermarket Puns |
| Groaner Jokes | Daily Groans | Money Jokes | Colorful Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | Travel Jokes |

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