Q. What do you call it when a Wookiee plays guitar alone on stage? A. A Han Solo!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Music Pick-Up Line: I don't play guitar, but I'll pluck your G string!
Q. What is the difference between a fish & a guitar? A. You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
Q. What is a locksmith's favorite band? A. The Monkees!
Q. What's the difference between a banjo and an onion? A. Nobody cries if you chop up a banjo!
Q. How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. they just let it burn out and follow it around for a few decades!

 


Guitar Humor, Amped Up Jokes, Bass-ic Puns
Strum along with funny guitar jokes, strung out guitarist humor, and picky plucked puns.

Guitar Jokes, Plucky Humor, Guitarist Puns
('Cause Humorous Guitar Action, Picker A-Chords, and Slide of Hand Could Never Be TOO Mainstream on Stage!)
Warning: Air Guitar at Your Own Risk! Note: Fingerstyle is nothing to fret about unless vibrato is involved.
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Q. Did you hear about the guitar that got baked? A. It was highly strung!Q. What do you call a guitarist that drank too much alchohol? A. Bassist loaded!Q. What did the guitarist do when he needed to turn his amp on? A. He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it!

Q. Why are so many guitar jokes one-liners?
A. So the rest of the band can understand them.

Q. Why was the guitar player arrested?
A. For fingering A Minor.

Q. Why don't guitarists like ukeleles?
A. 'Cause they don't fret the small stuff.

Q. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They just steal somebody else's light.

Music Pick-Up Line: Hey there Toney, are you a guitar player? 'Cause you're strumming my heart strings.

Q. Why do lead guitarists walk around on the stage?
A. To get away from the sound.

Q. Which famous American rock group is made up of four guys that don't sing?
A. Mount Rushmore.

Q. What do you call a guitar that wants to become a violin?
A. Trans-Fender.

Q. Why do you bury guitar players six feet under?
A. Because deep down, they're all nice guys.

Guitarist Come-On: Hey girl, why should you date a bassist? 'Cause we don't mind going down low.

Q. What do you call a guitar that never finishes a job?
A. A Quitar.

Q. What do you call two guitar players playing in unison?
A. Counterpoint.

Q. What does a guitarist in love send their girlfriends on Valentine's Day?
A. Forget-Me-Notes!

Q. How can you tell a guitarist is worried?
A. He frets a lot.

Bluegrass Come-On: Howdy, are ya'll a banjo player? 'Cause you're plucking at my heart strings.

Q. What do you throw a drowning bass player? A. His Amp!Q. Which instrument does a pirate play in the band? A. The Guitarrr!Q. What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend? A. Homeless!

Q. How does a guitar player keep his guitar from being stolen?
A. He stores it in a cello case.

Q. How do you invite a guitar musician to a party?
A. Chordially.

Q. How do you know somebody is a really great guitar player?
A. He'll tell you.

Q. Why do guitarists tour the most during the summer?
A. So they can visit all of their kids.

Did you hear about the guitar player who was stressed? He was all strung out.

Q. Why do women toss underwear to guitarists on stage?
A. In case their G-string breaks.

Q. What's the range of a Les Paul?
A. It depends how far you throw it.

Q. How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?
A. Nobody knows.

Pick-Up a Guitar Player Line: Hey baby, I'd love to strum on your G-string.

Q. How much talent did Cream's lead guitarist have?
A. A Clap-Ton.

Two guys were walking down the street. One was destitute. The other was a guitar player, too.

Q. How do you get two guitarists to play in perfect unison?
A. Fire one of them.

Did you hear about the heavy metal guitarist who locked his keys in the car? He had to break the window to let the drummer out.

Q. Which concert only costs 45 Cents? A. 50 Cent featuring Nickleback!Q. How do you get a guitarist to play softer? A. Put sheet music in front of hin!Is it just another manic Monday?

Q. Why did the guitarist drop out of music lessons?
A. 'Cause he couldn't pick A major.

Q. What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist!

Q. What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?
A. Would you like fries with that?

Q. What do you call a guitar that's moving slowly?
A. Walk and Roll.

Q. What does an electric guitarist call the extra notes added to the end of a song to make it last longer?
A. Extension chords.

Q. What's the difference between an electric guitar player and a vacuum cleaner?
A. When you unplug the vacuum cleaner, it doesn't suck any more.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a guitar?
A. A bird that sings when you pluck it.

Wound Up Come-On Line: Hi baby, I'd sure like to finger your fret board.

Q. What do programmers call a sythesizer guitar that's out of tune?
A. A synth-axe error.

Q. What do you call a female police officer who plays guitar?
A. She Riff.

Q. What's the difference between an electric guitar and a lawn mower?
A. You can tune a lawn mower.

Q. What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
A. Pick on somebody your own size.

Did you hear about the music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note!Q. Which musician writes songs about a country in the Himalayas? A. Nepal Simon!Q. Which classic rock group sings about black and white cookies? A. Oreo Speedwagon!

Q. How do you invite a classical guitar player to a party?
A. Chordially.

Q. What do ya call slow moving guitar music?
A. Walk and Roll.

Q. Why did they call the new guy the prison guitarist?
A. He was always behind a few bars and can never find the right keys.

Two jazz guitarists meet at a bar. One says to the other, "Hey man, I bought your last album!" The other replies, "Oh, so that was you!"

Q. Why did the rock star put his guitar in the refrigerator?
A. He wanted to play really cool music.

Q. Why are violinists braver than guitarists?
A. Because they never fret.

Q. Why did the she-riff arrest the bass guitar player?
A. For fingering A Minor.

Q. Which member of the rock band does the weirdest stuff on stage?
A. The bizarre-est guitarist.

Q. What kind of fish plays the guitar?
A. Bassist.

Q. At a party, how can you figure out who is a guitar player?
A. He'll surely tell you.

Q. How can you tell when a guitarist is out of tune?
A. His hands are moving.

Q. What's the difference between a Fender and a Les Paul?
A. The Les Paul burns longer...

Did you hear about the farmer who played guitar out in his cornfield? It was music to his ears.

Q. Why are rock band's members all such perverts?
A. Because the drummer sits in back beating it, the guitarist is fingering minors, the basist is slapping it around and they all like the pianist.

Q. How are a banjo player and a blind horseshoe player alike?
A. Both command immediate attention and alarm, and force everyone to run out of range.

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