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Q. How are a counterfeit coin and a crazy rabbit alike? A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.
Chimp Asks: What is easy to get into, but hard to get out of? A. Trouble!
Q. What do you get if you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? A. Hot Cross Bunnies
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Magician Jokes, Magic Puns, Magical Humor
Abracadabra! Conjure up hare-raising humor, tricky puns, magical laughs and spell-binding jokes.

Magic Trick Jokes, Magician Humor, Harey Puns
(Because Funny Magician Jokes and Magic Puns Couldn't Be Too Mainstream If You've Lost Your Tophat. Voila!)
Warning: Volunteer to Assist with Caution! Slight of hand jokes, hocus pocus humor, and wand-erful puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Banker | Barber | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist Jokes | Doctor | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |

Q. What did the magician say to the fisherman? A. Pick a cod, any cod!A magician was driving down the road, then he turned into a driveway.Q. How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb? A. Depens on what you want to change it into!

Q. What do you call incantations conjured up by a sorcerer who discovered spells inscribed on an antique tablet?
A. Old plaque magic.

Q. What do you call a magician's goldfish?
A. A magic carp pet.

A book never written: The Secret Behind Magic Tricks by Howe D. Dewitt.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Babe, I can make a snake jump out of my can of nuts without any props!

Magician Pick-Up Line: Hey, don't girls just wand a have fun?

Q. What did the magician's assistant say after the evening's festivities?
A. Thanks for halving me.

Q. What trick was the perverted magician famous for performing?
A. He pulled his top hat out of a rabbit.

Q. What trick did the angry magician do?
A. He pulled his hare out.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Are you a magician? 'Cause whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Is that a rabbit in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

Q. Where did the magician find his new assistant?
A. In the Wand Ads.

Q. What do you get if you cross an airplane and a magician?
A. A Flying Sorcerer!

Q. What do you call a magical dog crap?
A. Poo-Dini!

Magician Pick-Up Line: I must be a magician's assistant because you saw right through me.

Magician Pick-Up Line: It's okay. I've seen that trick before...

Q. When is rancher like a magician? A. When he turns a cow into a pasture!Did you hear about the illusionist that made things disappear? He ahd the magic touch!Q. What did an observant eye doctor say to the slight-of-hand artist? A. Eye see what you did there!

Q. What do you get if you cross a magician and a camera?
A. Hocus Focus!

Q. Which dog breed is great at magic tricks?
A. The Lab-racadab-rador.

Q. What do you call a magician cow?
A. Moo-dini.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Are you a magician? 'Cause every little thing you do is magic.

Magical Point to Ponder: If a determined guy has a half a mind to become a magician, is that enough?

Q. Why won't the magician hire the minty chewing gum twins as assistants?
A. Because he doesn't do dirty double tricks.

Q. Which magician was a sleazy pervert?
A. David Copa Feel.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Do you like the dark? 'Cause you and I could make some black magic.

Magical Point to Ponder: Why isn't sleight-of-hand the same thing as slight-of-hand?

Q. What do you call a dove magician ?
A. Coo-dini.

Q. Why couldn't the magician pull a quarter out of the blonde's ear?
A. Because there's no cents in there.

Q. Why did the magician decide to quit drinking?
A. Because every time he walked down the street he turned into a bar.

Q. What do you call a lawyer magician ?
A. Sue-dini.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Are you my new assistant? 'Cause I saw you from across the room.

Hellish Humor: I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried it for a spell.Q. What did the fisherman say to the magician? A. Pick a cod, any cod!Q. What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison? A. Small Medium at Large

Q. How does a witch record her spells?
A. With a magic marker.

Q. What do you call it when a witch messes up her magic spell?
A. Overcast.

Q. What do you call a Haitian magician?
A. Voodoo-ini.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Alcohol has magical powers. It can turn a loveseat into a bed.

Q. What do you call a magician owl?
A. Hoot-dini.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Babe, I know how to spell relief.

Q. How many magicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really large light bulb.

Q. Why did the magician have a koi pond?
A. Because he enjoyed magic carp pets.

Magical Point to Ponder: Do magicians need a spell book to autocorrect abracadabra?

Magician Pick-Up Line: Babe, is your name Wanda? 'Cause you are pretty magical!

Q. Who doesn't go to the ER if he has lost his thumb?
A. A Magician!

Q. Which question will a magician only answer in private?
A. How big is your magic wand?

Q. What do you call a magician who was abducted by aliens?
A. A flying sorcerer.

Fun Magician Trivia: Magicians eat chocolates because they really enjoy their Twix.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Are you a math-e-magician? 'Cause you and I add up to magic.

Q. When is a magician not a magician?
A. When he turns into a parking lot.

Q. What do you call an obese psychic? A. A four chin teller!Once, an invisible man married an invisible woman. Their kids were nothing to lat, too.Q. What do you call the ability to see a hundred years into the future? A. Extra-Century Perception!

Q. What's the difference between a magician's assistant and an onion?
A. People cry when an onion gets cut up.

Q. What can you get at the magic store for just one cent?
A. A cheap trick.

Magical Point to Ponder: If Harry Houdini was alive today, would he be clawing at his coffin?

Q. How can you trick a magician into showing you 100 card tricks?
A. Ask him to do a card trick.

Q. What did the magician's tractor do?
A. It turned into a field.

Magician: "Doc, I have a problem. Every time I say abra cadabra, somebody disappears. Doctor, are you there?"

Magical Point to Ponder: Why isn't an illusion the same thing as an allusion?

Q. What is the difference between a shrink and a magician?
A. A shrink pulls habits out of a rat!

Q. Witch jokes do magicians hat?
A. Yes!!!

Q. What's the difference between a magician and a US Savings Bond?
A. The bond will mature and start earning money.

Q. How do you know if a magician has mastered a new trick?
A. Don't worry, he'll tell ya...

Q. What do you call a hypnotist who works throughout North America and Europe?
A. Trance Atlantic.

Q. Why couldn't the magician perform in Denver?
A. The airlines lost his bag of tricks.

Q. What did the magician's mother say when he told her that he wanted to be a magician when he grew up?
A. Son, you can't do both.

Q. What does a frustrated magician do?
A. He pulls his hare out!

Magical Point to Ponder: Is that missing sock on laundry day a magician's trick?

| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Banker | Barber | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist Jokes | Doctor | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |

| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

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You've lasted this far, so here's even more hocus pocus humor,
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