A woman was arrested for having an accident on her cellphone. She was charged with DWI: Driving While Intalksicated.   PainfulPuns.com - Tech Jokes, PC Puns, Web Groans, Net Ouch!

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Q. What message would Bach leave on his voice mail? A. This phone is Baroque, please call Bach later!
Big Ape Asks: How did the pothead burn his ear? A. He answered his cell while ironing his tuxedo!
Q. What do you get if you cross a rooster and a telephone pole? A. A long wooden cock that wants to touch somebody!
A guy was always leaving himself voicemail messages, he was so self-sendered!
Q. Why don't blondes take their phone into the bathroom? A. They don't want to share their IP address!
Is that a cell in your back pocket? 'Cause that ass is callin' me.
Q. How do Ewoks communicate over long distances? A. with Ewokie Talkies!


Funny Phone Jokes, Cell Humor, Moblie Puns
Dial up cell-y phone puns, Siri-ous hold humor, funny dead ringers and retro telephone jokes.

Telephone Jokes, Phony Puns, Connected Humor
(Because Dumb Smart Phone Jokes and Disconnected Puns Are Still TOO Mainstream for Caller Number Nine!)
Warning: Roam Funny Phone Jokes Cautiously! If you exceed your data limit, don't call us. Ring up tech support!
| Cell Phone Jokes and Smart Phone Puns | Funny Phone Jokes and Telephone Pole Puns | 2 |
| High Tech Gadget Jokes | Computer Jokes, Laptop Laughs, 404 PC Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| Internet Jokes, Web Puns, Net Humor | Social Media Jokes, Twitter Jokes, Facebook Puns |
| Battery Jokes and Fully Charged Puns | Electric Humor, Powerful Puns, Shocking Jokes |

Q. How do pirates communicate with each other? A. With an Aye Phone!Q. What do you call the security guards who work at Samsung stores? A. Guardians of the Galaxy!Q. How do modern cowboys stay in touch? A. They send tex messages!

Q. How does a lobster answer the phone?
A. Shello.

Q. What do you get if you cross a phone and a lobster?
A. Snappy talk.

Q. Which HBO series will robo callers and telemarketers miss now that it's ended?
A. Game of Phones.

We were going to post one more Painful phone Pun here, but decided it's uncalled for!

Q. Which civilization actually inspired the invention of the telephone?
A. The Phoenicians.

Q. Why are all the personal assistants on cell phones and smart devices female?
A. Because that's the only job they can get in tech!

Q. Why did both Apple iPhone 8 and Microsoft Windows 8 go straight to X/10?
A. We figure it's 'cause 7 ate 9!

Ringing Fact of the Day: Sorry, Taco Bell is not a telecom company!

Q. When does a horse talk on the phone?
A. Whinny wants to.

Q. What was the crow doing up on the telephone pole?
A. Making a long distance phone caw!

Q. How does a barber make phone calls?
A. He usually cuts them short.

Q. Why were blondes putting notes at the bottom of the telephone pole?
A. Because they were adding comments to this post.

Q. Why did the girl who worked at the phone company sing all of the time? A. Because she was an operetta!Girl: "Now that we're engaged, I hope you'll give me a ring." Guy: "Of course! What's your cell number?"Q. How can you tell if someone who's just had a perm is on the phone? A. You get a frizzy signal!

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog and a telephone?
A. A Golden Receiver.

Q. How does a dog make calls?
A. He uses a tele-bone.

Q. What do a dog and a phone have in common?
A. Both have Collar ID.

Q. What's it called when your grandmother is on speed dial?
A. Insta-Gran.

Q. Why did the telemarketer with emotional issues finally see a head doctor?
A. 'Cause she really had a lot of hang-ups!

Q. How do telephones get married?
A. In a double-ring ceremony!

Latest Tweet: My girlfriend made me choose between her and my cell phone. (Sent from my iPhone)

Cell Phone Safety Tip of the Day: Never have phone sex without protection so you won't contract hearing aids.

Q. Why does everybody still need a land line?
A. To locate a cell phone that's somewhere in your house.

Q. What is an unlimited cell phone plan?
A. There's no limit to how much they can charge.

Q. What do you get if you cross a phone and a pair of scissors?
A. Snippy answers!

Q. What was even more important than the invention of the first telephone?
A. The second telephone!

Q. What does the commissioner say when he calls the Bat Phone?
A. It bat-ta ring!

Q. How did the new bank employee make calls?
A. On a teller-phone!

Phony Pick-Up Line: Hey bae, I seem to have lost my phone number, so can I have yours?

Q. What do prisoners use to call each other? A. Cell Phones!Q. Why is it so hard to phone a pirate? A. He leaves his phone off the hook!Q. How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone? A. You get a tizzy signal!

Q. What do you call spammer robo callers?
A. Phonies.

Q. What is an iPhone without me?
A. Phone.

Q. Why couldn't the statistician afford the new iPhone?
A. Because he had an average salary.

Q. What happens if you fall asleep on your cell phone?
A. You download a nap.

Q. What do British vampires use to phone home?
A. A bloody mobile phone.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton need a cell phone?
A. He had no body to talk with.

Q. What does a ghost use to make calls?
A. A Terror-Phone!

Q. How do you get an iPhone to sync?
A. Name it Titanic.

Q. How do, like, really laid-back types answer their phone?
A. Mellow.

Q. What happened when Verizon propositioned Batman with their friends and family plan?
A. Batman cried.

Q. Why don't birds use cell phones?
A. They're afraid of winging the wrong number.

Q. How did ET know he was high? A. He was too phone to stone home!Chimp asks: Why couldn't the banan yell HI? A. It could only YELLOW!Q. What do neurons use to talk to each other? A. A cell phone!

Q. What is long, slippery, and always phones home while sightseeing?
A. E.T. The Extra Tourist Eel.

Q. Wha do you get if you cross a telephone and a night crawler?
A. Ringworm!

Q. Why didn't the mummy want a telephone?
A. Because he always got to wrapped up in his calls.

Q. What do you call company workers who field calls from highly edgy people?
A. Customer nervous representatives.

Q. How did our grandparents occupy their time before cell phones and the Internet?
A. I've asked my mom, her three brothers and two sisters, but don't have a definitive answer.

Q. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A. Stuck in the 1960s!

Q. How does a baboon make phone calls.
A. He just monkeys around on the line.

Q. Why did the telemarketer quit his job?
A. 'Cause talk is cheap.

Q. Why do we call mobile telephones cell phones?
A. Because people are their prisoners.

The guy who found a cell phone walked up to the local meteorologist and said, "This must be yours." "Why?," asked the weatherman. Guy replied, "Sir, it says '14 missed calls.'"

Ironic Tech Fact of the Day: Cell phones keep getting thinner and smarter. Humans, the opposite.

Q. Why was the telemarketer fired?
A. He had too many hang-ups.

Q. How did the phone propose to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? A. He gave her a ring!Hello, you've reached the incontinence hotline. Can you please hold?Q. Why did the cell phone have to wear glasses? A. Because it lost all its contacts!

Q. How are an engaged girl and a phone alike?
A. They both have rings.

Q. What do you get if you cross a retro phone and a birthday celebration?
A. A party line.

Q. Why has crime gotten so much worse in the 21st Century?
A. Because all the phone booths are gone, so Superman has nowhere to change!

Q. What is the tech term for a rotten, defective smart phone download?
A. Bad applet.

Phone Fact of the Day: Old voice mail never dies; it just doesn't answer.

Q. How do scaredy-cats answer the phone?
A. Yellow?

Q. How did another scaredy-cat answer the phone?
A. Yellow? Mew's There?

Q. What did the frugal guy say after he got his phone bill?
A. Who says talk is cheap?

Q. Why didn't the comedian tell his latest cell phone joke?
A. Because it had a bad reception.

Q. Which brand of hand soap did retro telephone operators use?
A. Dial.

Q. How does a baritone make a phone call?
A. Song distance.

High Tech Fact of the Day: A recent study showed iPhones are the most popular hand-held device. For the first time, the penis has slipped into the Number 2 slot.

Q. What do you get if you cross a telephone and a frog?
A. A bellhop.

ESP Point to Ponder: If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

Q. What does the volcanologist ask people to do on his outgoing voicemail recording?
A. Lava message.

| Cell Phone Jokes and Smart Phone Puns | Funny Phone Jokes and Telephone Pole Puns | 2 |
| High Tech Gadget Jokes | Computer Jokes, Laptop Laughs, 404 PC Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| Internet Jokes, Web Puns | Online Dating | Social Media Jokes, Twitter Jokes, Facebook Puns |
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| Cyber Jokes | Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |

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