Q. How can you tell a bee is on the phone?
A. You get a buzzy signal.

Q. What do you get if you cross scissors with a phone?
A. Snippy answers!

Q. Why couldn't the naked guy get cell phone service?
A. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service...

High Tech Point to Ponder: If today's smart phones have a million times the power of the computers that sent Apollo to the moon, can you brag that you have a rocket in your pocket?

Q. Why did the blonde guys stop fishing for phones?
A. Because they always ring off their hooks.

Q. When won't your phone work under water?
A. When it's wringing wet!

Q. How is a phone like a dirty bathtub?
A. Both have rings.

Q. Why did the blonde, who slept with her cell phone under her pillow, wake up with a $10 bill there instead?
A. She was visited by the Bluetooth Fairy!

Did you hear about the couple who got married under a cell tower? The wedding was okay, but the reception was terrific!

Q. What does a cat with Verizon cell service say?
A. Can you hear meow?

When pesky telemarketers call, just hand the phone to your three-year-old and tell her it's Santa!

Q. Why did the garden gnome set his phone's ringer to vibrate?
A. He was afraid a ring tone would blow his cover.

Q. What do you get if you cross a phone and a night crawler?
A. Ringworm!

Q. How does a football player make calls?
A. On his touchdown phone.

Q. What happened to the thug who beat up some guy with his dead cell phone?
A. He was charged with battery.

Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number, you picked up the wrong phone!

Q. What did voice mail say to the phone?
A. Take my word for it!

Pick-Up Batman Line: Hey big guy, is that the Batphone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Q. Why did Robin pick up the Batphone?
A. Because it bat-a-rang.

Q. What do you get if you cross a phone with mouthwash?
A. A telescope!

Telephone rings. Caller: "Hello, is this 555-5555?" "Why yes it is," came the reply. Caller: "Would you please call 911 for me? I've superglued my finger to the 5 button!"

Q. Where do phones like to go on vacation?
A. The Great Call of China.

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did YOU answer the phone?

Q. Which kind of phone makes the coolest music?
A. A saxophone!

Did you hear about the guy who deleted all the Germanic names off his mobile phone? Now, it's a Hans-Free device.

Q. Which animals spend the most time on the phone?
A. Yakkity Yaks.

A blonde got a new cell phone from her hubbie. Next day she went shopping and her phone rang. Her husband asked, "How's your new phone?" She replied, "Great, but how'd you know I was at Wal-Mart?"

Q. How does a skeleton call its friends?
A. On its tele-bone.

Q. What asks no questions, yet demands an answer?
A. Your phone!

Blonde Technology Point to Ponder: The new iPhone uses facial recognition to unlock it, so can I still use it after I take my makeup off?

Q. What do you get if you cross a ring-tone and retro jeans?
A. Bell Bottoms!

Telecommunications Point to Ponder: If a ban was put on all phone calls to the Middle East, would that be a teleban?

Q. What do convicts use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.

A guy saw another guy texting and driving. The first guy guy so mad, that he threw his beer at Tex.

Q. What do you call the music you get while on hold?
A. Symphonies.

Retro Cell Phone Laughs: Life was so much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.

Q. What does it sound like when a colorful telephone answers?
A. Green, Green. Yellow?

Q. What do you get if you cross a rooster and a phone?
A. A wake up call.

Q. Why did the chicken walk on the phone wires?
A. She wanted to lay it on the line.

Did you see the latest Tweet about the telephone pole on Colorado Blvd. being replaced? It was a repost.

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved.