Yarrr! September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. Why are pirates leary of olcanoes? A. Because of the pirate-clastic flows!
Q. What do you call a pirate droid? A. ARRR2- D2!
Q. Why did a pirate marry his eye doctor? A. It was an aye-deal relationship!
Q. Who do pirates call if they break a leg? A. Their Carrrpenter!

 

 


Pirate Puns, Treasure Humor, Seven Seas Jokes
Learn to Talk Like a Pirate with aye me bucko humor, patchy pirate puns, and groggy jokes.

Pirate Jokes, Buccaneer Puns, Privateer Humor
(Because Booty Jokes and Swashbuckling Humor Could Never Be Too Mainstream for Matey Pirates. Yarr!)
Warning: Hook Up at Your Own Risk! Ahoy, high seas humor, booty jokes, and plank puns ahead.
| Pirate Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Arr! | 2 | Pirate Pick-Up Lines | High Seas Humor | 2 |

Q. What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A. Arrr? No, the C is his love!Q. How can you tell a pirate likes new hi-tech gadgets? A. He uses an iPatch!Q. How did Captain Hook die? A. Multiple stab wounds due to an itchy rash!

Q. What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?
A. I, I, R and the 7 Cs.

Q. Why did the young pirate fail his school spelling test?
A. Because he kept insisting there were seven Cs.

Q. Do ye know any good pirate jokes?
A. No? Neither do Aye...

Pirate Pick-Up Line: My lady, how about ye and me sail the seven seas tonight?

Little Known Pirate Trivia: 3.14% of sailors are Pi-rates.

Q. Who is the official mascot of Pi Day?
A. A Pi-rate!

Pirate Point to Ponder: ARRe pirate puns a real pain in the aRRRs?

Q. Where were the lone pirate's buccaneers?
A. On the sides of his buckin' head.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: One aye on you, and a shiver went up me timber!

To err is human. To arrr is pirate.

Q. How did Captain Hook actually meet his demise?
A. He wiped his butt with the wrong hand. Ouch!

Q. What did the captain say when the pirate ship ran aground?
A. We're SHIP out of luck!

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Let's just cut to the chase. Doth ye wanna hook up?

Q. What do pirates like to put on their toast? A. Jelly Roger!Pirate Pick-Up Line: I must be a pirate because I am digging your booty!Q. Why is it so hard to phone a pirate? A. He leaves his phone off the hook!

Q. Why aren't there any French delicacies in Davy Jones' locker?
A. Because dead men sell no snails.

Q. Why did the Canadian pirate have red eyes?
A. He wasn't used to legalized seaweed.

Q. How do pirates cheer for the Broncos?
A. Aye, me Bucko!

Pirate Pick-Up Line: My lady, wood you mind if I drop anchor in your lagoon?

Q. Why don't pirates go to strip clubs?
A. Because they already know where all the good booty is!

Q. What is a horny pirate's worst nightmare on shore leave?
A. A sunken chest with no booty!

Q. Why did the pirate break up with his girlfriend?
A. He wasn't getting the booty.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: You must be a pirate, 'cause I'd let you swash my buckle any day!

Q. How do pirates have frank discussions?
A. Aye to Aye.

Q. Why did the pirate's cellphone battery die so quickly?
A. Because he left if off the hook.

Q. What do you call a seaman who tries to steal sunken fool's gold?
A. A sea pyrite.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: That puffy shirt looks really hot on you! Wanna search me for buried treasure?

Q. Why do pirates subscribe to Playboy magazine? A. For the arrrticles!Q. Why should you never take a pea from a pirate? A. Because he'll become irate!Q. What does a pirate say during a snow storm? A. Shiver me timbers!

Q. Why do pirates like thongs at the beach?
A. Because it's all about the booty.

Q. Why do pirates always bury their treasure 18 inches below ground?
A. Because booty is only shin deep!

Q. What happened when the pirate with one leg had to walk the plank?
A. He went out on a limb.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Aye, the skull and crossbones won't be the only thing I'll be raising tonight.

Q. What do you call a pirate with three eyes?
A. Piiirate.

Q. Which ocean habitat features ill-tempered residents that like to argue?
A. A quarrel reef.

Q. Why aren't pirates allowed to be contestants on Wheel of Fortune?
A. Because they always guess ARRR, then C!

Pirate Pick-Up Line: I must be hunting for treasure? 'Cause I am really digging your chest.

Q. What do pirates wear to stay warm during the winter?
A. Long Johns!

Q. What does a patch-wearing pirate fear most while navigating polar seas?
A. Eyes Bergs!

Q. What does a dapper pirate wear when there's a chill in the air?
A. A caRRRdigan sweater.

Q. What do pirates wear when sailing in icy waters?
A. PaRRRkas.

Q. What does a pirate steal in his spare time? A. Arrrt!Q. Why is pirating so addictive? A. Because once ye lose yar first hand, ye are hooked!Pirate Pick-Up Line: You must be a pirate because you can swash my buckle any day!

Q. What does a pirate wearing a monocle use to navigate the seven seas?
A. An Aye Chart.

Q. What does a mermaid wear to math and botony classes?
A. An algae-bra, naturally!

Q. How much does a pirate's treasure cost in today's money?
A. An arm and a leg.

Pick-Up a Pirate Line: Ahoy Matey! Wanna take a ride in my crow's nest?

Q. What's the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
A. One has a rumbling tummy and the other is a tumbling rummy!

Pirate Pick-Up Line: My lady, ye certainly put the shiver in me timber!

Q. Why don't pirate captains have short hair?
A. Because they do not like crew cuts!

Q. Which land-locked country has pirates that are obsessed by the sea?
A. Row-mainia.

Q. Why did the buff pirate like going to the pool?
A. 'Twas a fine place to show off his cannon balls!

Q. Why do pirates detest seriously funny winter puns?
A. Because it's snow laughing matter!

Q. What did the sea lion say when he was falsely accused?
A. Hey, it was the otter guy!

Pick-Up a Pirate Line: Aye, I see you are nearly up to ramming speed.

| Pirate Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Arr! | 2 | Pirate Pick-Up Lines | High Seas Humor | 2 |
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