| Q.
How can you tell a blonde is not a Broncos fan?
A. She can't understand why all those guys are beating each
other up over 25 cents.
Q.
How can you tell a blonde is not a Broncos fan?
A. She thinks a quarterback is change for a buck.
Q.
Why did the blonde, who slept with her cell phone under
her pillow, wake up with a $10 bill there instead?
A. She was visited by the Bluetooth Fairy!
Q.
Why was the blonde broke?
A. Some guy said, "A penny for your thoughts."
Q.
Why did the blonde go broke?
A. Because she had no cents.
Q.
What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a
skinny blonde?
A. One's a phony buck.
Q.
How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
A. It's the one with the kickstand.
Q.
Why do blondes like lightning?
A. They love having their picture taken.
Q.
How do you keep a blond in suspense?
A. I'll tell you tomorrow...
Did
you hear about the new blonde paint? It's not real bright,
but it's cheap and spreads easily.
Q.
Why did the blonde love wearing her new bra to the movies?
A. It was great for catching the stray popcorn.
Q.
Why did the blonde get kicked out of the gym during kickboxing
class?
A. 'Cause the gym didn't have a kickboxing class!
Q.
What was the blonde ballerina's GPA?
A. 2.2.
Q.
What did the blonde say when she lost her Abba CD?
A. Where did the disco?
Smart
Money Tip of the Day: A blonde threw a coin into the wishing
fountain and wished for lots of coins. But, it turns out
wishes just don't come true. Sometimes you have to get your
feet wet. DUH!
A
blonde guy saw a sign on the corner by the pawn shop that
read, "Watch for Children." So, he thought, "That
sounds like a fair trade."
Customer
at Victoria's Secret: Is this underwear satin?
Blonde Sales Clerk: No, they're new. |
Q.
Why did the banker take the blonde teller into the bank
vault?
A. For safe sex.
Q.
Why were there bullet holes in the mirror?
A. Because a blonde tried to kill herself?
Three
blonde hikers were in the pine forest and came across some
tracks. The first one said, "It looks like bear tracks."
The second said, "No, it looks like beaver tracks."
Before the third could say anything, they all got hit by
a train... Dam!
Q.
Why did the blonde keep an empty milk carton in the fridge?
A. In case she wanted black coffee.
Q.
What do the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A. Both have swallowed a lot of semen.
Q.
How can you tell a blonde landscaped your yard?
A. The bushes are darker than the rest.
Did
you hear about the blonde who went to the gym on her own
Accord this morning. Well, why would she drive somebody
else's car? Duh!
Q.
What happens when blonde potheads from Kansas visit Colorado
with orange Zigzags?
A. Colorado gets even more colorful.
Q.
What do blonde stoners always take on Colorado skiing trips?
A. High-powered gondolas, duh!
Q.
Why was the blonde toursit just standing in the middle of
the busy Denver intersection at Broadway and Colfax?
A. The Walk sign changed to Don't Walk, so she
just stopped.
Q.
Why did the blonde feed money to her cows?
A. Because she wanted rich milk.
Q.
How did the blonde know she truly was poor?
A. She couldn't even pay attention.
Blonde
Customer: Waiter, there's a hand in my soup.
Waiter: Duh, that's not your soup, that's your finger bowl.
Q.
Why did the bulimic redhead swallow a penny, and then vomited
it afterward?
A. Because she heard change should come from within.
Q.
What happened when the doctor told the blonde to stop using
a Q-tip?
A. It went in one ear and out the other.
Q.
Why was the blonde chef crushing tomotoes with her upper
legs?
A. She was making Peak 'o de Thigh-o. Duh!
|
Q.
What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q.
What did the blonde say to the noisy plumbers who were fixing
her sink why she was trying to sleep?
A. Pipe down!
Q.
Why didn't the blonde take up water skiing?
A. She couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Q.
Why did a blonde drive to the auto body repair shop?
A. She was looking for a dentist!
Q.
How can you tell if a blonde has been baking cookies?
A. M&M shells are all over the counter.
Q.
Why don't blondes double recipes?
A. The oven doesn't go up to 700º!
Did
you hear about the blonde with a PhD in psychology? She'll
blow your mind, too.
Q.
What do peroxide blondes and African Americans have in common?
A. Black roots.
Blonde
Swimmer Duh of the Day: I could never date guys who swim
in the kiddie pool, 'cause that's too shallow for me.
Q.
What did the guy say to the blonde when he playfully slapped
her butt?
A. Hi, Poopsie!
Q.
What do you call a blonde actress with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant.
Doctor:
Why did you take your meds before the prescribed time?
Blonde Patient: Because I wanted to surprise the bacteria.
Q.
How did the blonde get injured?
A. She was hit by a parked car. OUCH!
Q.
Why did the blonde bring lipstick and eye shadow to class?
A. Because she had a make-up test.
Q.
Why did the blonde tourist smack her camera with a frying
pan?
A. She wanted a pan-o-ram-ic shot of Pike's Peak!
Q.
Why didn't the blonde go into the bank that offered
24 Hour Banking?
A. Because she didn't have that much time. DUH!
Q.
Why were blondes putting notes at the bottom of the telephone
pole?
A. They were adding comments to this post.
Did
you hear about the blonde hipster in Colorado who wore shorts
and sandals in September, before it was cool? |
