Q. What did the magician say to the fisherman? A. Pick a cod, any cod!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. How many anglers does it take to hange a light bulb? A. One big one. You should've seen the light bulb? It must have been this big!
Q. What's the best way to communicate with a fish? A. Drop him a line!
Q. Which fish do pirates like the most? A. The Swordfish!
Q. What do you name a fish with no eyes? A. FSH
Q. Where does a fish keep his money? A. In a river bank!
Q. Why aren't fish good tennis players? A. They don't like getting close to the net!
Q. What's the difference between a Denver Broncos hater and a carp? A. One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish! Go Broncos!
Fish Says: Whenever I go near my bank, I get withdrawal symptoms!


Fishing Jokes, Fisherman Humor, Fishy Puns
Catch up on fish tale humor, pole-ish jokes, biting puns and scaly laughs – hook, line, and sinker.

Fisherman Jokes, Finny Puns, Fishing Humor
(Because Catch of the Day Jokes and Fishy Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Sporty Fishermen Named Bobber!)
Warning: Wade In At Your Own Risk! Wormy humor, reel funny puns, baited grins and catchy fishing jokes ahead.
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Q. Why couldn't Batman go fishing? A. Robin ate all the worms!Q. What did the fisherman say to the magician? A. Pick a cod, any cod!Q. What o you call a Sith lord who likes to go fishing? A. Darth Wader!

Q. Are fishermen gullible?
A. Well, they do fall for it all: hook, line, and sinker.

Q. What trophy did Sir Lancelot go fishing for?
A. Swordfish.

Q. What happens if you put Nutella on raw salmon?
A. You get Salmon-Ella!

Q. Where do fishermen go for a haircut?
A. To the bobber shop!

Q. Why did the taller fisherman tell better fish stories than his shorter buddy?
A. 'Cause his arms are longer!

Q. What do you call a fisherman from Warsaw?
A. A fishing Pole.

Q. What did the fisherman stream online?
A. A rodcast.

Q. What was the sole fisherman searching for online?
A. A gill-friend!

Q. What do you call a vacation home on the best trout fishing stream in Colorado?
A. Reel estate.

Q. What do you call a small fish magician?
A. A magic carpet.

Q. What is the best type of music for a fishing trip?
A. Anything with a catchy hook.

Q. Why did the fisherman watch that fly fishing documentary last night?
A. Because it had a great cast.

Q. What do you get if you cross a fisherman and a jazz enthusiast?
A. An Anglin-Saxon.

Fisherman Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, finny thing, but I think we should hook up.

Q. What does a fisherman use to quickly cut through the ocean?
A. A sea-saw.

Q. Which online hookup site is for anglers and fishermen?
A. Catch dot moc.

Q. What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away?
A. "You bass-tard!"

Q. What do you call a fisherman with a large flatfish on his head?
A. Ray!

Q. Why did nerd go to the lake after being teased by the bully?
A. To fish for compliments.

Q. Why is it so easy for a fisherman to weigh his catch of the day?
A. 'Cause fish have their own scales.

Q. What does every sole fisherman want?
A. A gill-friend!

Q. What happened after the fisherman became a playwriter?
A. His first play had strong lines and good casting. It was a reel hit!

Q. Why did the deep sea fisherman blush?
A. He saw the ocean's bottom!

Sexy old fishermen never die, but they just can't lift their rods.

The bank's clients went belly up due to phishing operations!Gnome Fishing Allowed!Q. How did the lost Alaskan fishing boat captain get back on course? A. He Got His Bering Strait!

Q. Are fish smarter than fishermen?
A. Have you ever seen a fish spend a small fortune to catch a human?

Q. What do you call a banker who is also a skilled Colorado trout fisherman?
A. A loan-ly master-baiter.

Q. Which kind of fish does a pirate fisherman's parrot sit on?
A. A Perch.

Q. What happens after a fisherman drinks like a fish?
A. He eels he needs to go like a fire hose.

Q. Where can a tired fisherman catch a quick nap?
A. In a river bed.

Q. Why did the professional fisherman quit his job?
A. Because the work stunk and he just couldn't live on his net income.

Q. How do you describe a fisherman's broken calculator?
A. Something fishy that doesn't quite add up.

Gnome fishing for what?

Q. Why didn't the fisherman make it as a rapper?
A. His lines were okay, but his hooks were debaitable.

Q. Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing?
A. Just for the halibut!

Q. What do you call stage actors who like to go fly fishing along the Frying Pan River in Colorado?
A. Cast members.

Q. Why was the fisherman fired from his job with StarKist?
A. He just didn't catch on.

Q. What do romantic fishermen sing on a romantic date?
A. Salmon Chanted Evening...

Q. What is a trout's main goal?
A. To keep his daughter off the pole.

Q. What is a fishing doc?
A. A heart surgeon on vacation.

Q. Why does everybody get along with that trout fisherman?
A. 'Cause he always keeps it reel.

Q. What do you call a fisherman who drinks too much while out to sea?
A. A beer-a-cuda.

Q. Why did the smart rainbow trout in The Roaring Fork River ignore the fisherman's fly?
A. He didn't want to be a fish out of water.

Q. What did the redneck fisherman say to his buddy?
A. I got a new fly reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made!

Q. Why are fishing boots the warmest to wear when wading in a cold stream?
A. Because they have electric eels.

Q. Why did the fisherman's new rod and reel perform so well?
A. Because they were top of the line.

Q. Which villan lurks at the bottom of the sea?
A. Jack the Kipper.

Q. What is a locksmith's favorite lake? A. Loch Ness!Q. What do fish use for money? A. Sand Dollars!Fish says: Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day!

Q. What does a fisherman say when a fish's tail got stuck in the rudder?
A. Oops, that was just a fluke.

Q. Why haven't we seen the new fishing website?
A. 'Cause it's not online yet.

Q. Why did the fisherman's dog jump into the river?
A. He was chasing catfish.

Q. What do you call a fish that can't keep a secret?
A. A big-mouth bass.

Q. How do fish go into business?
A. They start on a small scale!

Old fishermen never die, they just smell that way!

Q. Do old fishermen ever die?
A. No, but they do get reel tired.

Q. Why did the blonde fisherman intentionally search for catfish?
A. EEK! She saw a mouse!

Q. What do you call the guy on the TV news who covers angler stories and fly fishing updates?
A. A news caster.

Q. When you look at fish sticks, what do you see?
A. I seafood.

Q. What does the pope eat during lent?
A. Holy mackerel!

Q. What do you get if you cross a fishing lure with a gym sock?
A. A hook, line, and stinker!

Q. Which kind of musical instrument can be used to catch fish?
A. A cast-a-net.

Q. How much money does a fisherman make?
A. Net profits.

Q. How does a fisherman communicate with a fish?
A. He drops him a line.

Q. Which day of the week do fishermen like best?
A. Fry-Day.

Q. Which part of a fish weighs the most?
A. Its scales!

Q. Who wrote the fiesty how-to book, Salty Water Fishing?
A. Barry Kuda.

Old fishermen never die, they just go up river.

Old fly fishermen never die, but they do cast away.

Trout Says: If you have to pay to go up river, you should stop at the bank first!Sign on a Hacker's Door: "Gone Phishing"Fish Asks: Did you hear about the banking tycoom who fell off his yacht? He was saved because he could float a loan!

Q. Why did everybody love the fisherman?
A. 'Cause he was a reel catch!

Q. What do fish and women have in common?
A. Both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!

Q. How can you tell that a Colorado mountain lake has become very popular with anglers?
A. Because the parking lot had fishing lines.

Q. Why was the guy fired from his fisherman job?
A. 'Cause he got too caught up in it.

Q. Who wrote the book, Bound to Catch Fish?
A. Will Ketchim.

Q. Which musicians make the best fishermen?
A. Bass players.

Q. Why don't many fish pass their finals?
A. Because they work below C level.

Q. How did the fisherman know he finally found the perfect trout fishing spot along the South Platte River in South Park, Colorado?
A. He caught site of it.

Q. Why did the fisherman quit his job?
A. Because the net pay wasn't very good.

Q. What happened when the Boston fisherman's wife fell overboard?
A. A giant clam chowed her.

Q. What does a fisherman use to find the World Wide Web?
A. The Net.

Q. Which social network do USO aliens prefer?
A. Fishbook.

Q. How does a fisherman make a fish laugh?
A. He tells a whale of a tale.

Q. When is a fisherman the most offensive?
A. When he's way out of line.

Q. What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
A. When a golfer lies, he doesn't have to bring anything home for proof.

Q. Why was the fisherman kicked out of the band?
A. They didn't like the way he was slapping the bass around.

Q. Where do goldfish go on vacation?
A. Round and round the globe.

A golfer was standing ot the tee overlooking a river and see two fishermen out there. He turns to his golf buddy and says, "Look at those two morons fishing in the rain."

Q. What do you call a big smelly fish?
A. A stink ray.

Q. Why did the fisherman go crazy?
A. Pier pressure.

Q. How does a fisherman post a fish?
A. He sends it COD or by First Bass Mail.

Q. What do fishermen do when their keyboard sounds funny?
A. They call a piano tuna.

Q. Why was Tom Sawyer such an avid fisherman?
A. He was trying to catch up with Huck Finn.

Q. Why can't you ever truly trust a commercial fisherman?
A. 'Cause they all sell-fish.

Q. Why didn't Noah do any fishing aboard the ark?
A. 'Cause he only had two worms.

Q. How does a fisherman keep a big fish from smelling?
A. He cuts off its nose.

Q. What is it called when you go out to sea to capture large, flat fish?
A. Catching some rays.

Q. Which kind of dinosaur enjoyed fishing for Kraken?
A. Sea-Rex.

Q. What's the difference between a professional fisherman and a teenage boy?
A. One's a master baiter, and the other is a masturbator.

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