Q. What did the bodybuilder say when his girlfriend dumped him for some other gym rat?
A. I'm feelin' the burn.

Q. What makes a bodybuilder smile at the gym?
A. Face muscles!

Muscleman Trivia: Did you realize that Dr. Frankenstein was actually the first bodybuilder?

Q. What does Bigfoot do for exercise?
A. Sas-squats!

Q. What are the rules in zebra baseball?
A. Three stripes, and you're out!

Q. Why were there cows on the baseball field?
A. Because they were looking for the bullpen!

Q. Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
A. She hoped to catch some fowl balls.

Q. What did the player on the Bumblebee baseball team say after crossing home plate?
A. Hive Scored!

Fitness Point to Ponder: Wouldn't excercise be more fun if calories screamed when you burned them?

Q. How did T-Rex feel after his last killer workout?
A. Dino-sore!

Gym Pick-Up Line: Going to a sculpture class won't even get you this chiseled.

The best activities for your health are pumping and humping.
– Arnold Schwarznegger

Running Wisdom: Remember, the second most important thing to choosing the right running shoe is choosing the left one.

Q. What do you call it when a high jumper tries too hard?
A. Overdoing it.

Running Joke of the Day: News Flash! A man was shot with a starting pistol, then beaten to death with a relay baton. Police believe it may be race related.

Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you.
– Some Blonde, Duh!

Q. Why did the bodybuilder get stopped by the police?
A. The cops said it was illegal to carry those guns in public.

Bodybuilder Pick-Up Line: Hey there, did you get that body at McDonald's? 'Cause of that Big Mac, my macros are all over the place.

Q. What is a zombie's favorite exercise to do at the gym?
A. Undeadlifts.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kicking!

Q. Why did the sausage quit playing in the pro football league?
A. Because it was the wurst on the team.

Q. When should NFL Football players wear armor?
A. Only when they play knight games.

Q. What do you get if you cross a a quarterback with some carpeting?
A. A throw rug!

Q. What happened when the guy had a dream he'd become an NFL quarterback?
A. His prediction came to pass.

A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him!

Q. Why was the baseball team's batter so popular with the fans?
A. Because he reached first, second, and third on a regular bases.

Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?

Triple Play Baseball Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I'd really like to mitt you!

Q. What do scuba divers wear to bed?
A. Snore-kels!

Q. What kind of detergent do scuba divers use?
A. Tide.

Q. What does Cinderella wear when she scuba dives?
A. Glass Flippers.

Q. Why did the banker jump into the swimming pool?
A. He wanted to float a loan!

Workout Wisecrack: Somebody call the Coroner! I just killed my workout!

Q. What happened to the guy who held a squat for too long?
A. He got hunker pains.

Bodybuilder Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, how'd you like to work in a few reps over at my place?

Workout Wisecrack: I've been a gym member for six months, but I don't see any progress. Maybe I need to go there in person to see what's going on?

Q. What time does a racquet star wannabe in training go to bed?
A. Tenn-ish.

Did you hear about the cheating wife who got knocked up by her tennis coach? Serves her right!

Q. When is it good to stand on the service line?
A. Only when you want to order ice cream.

Workout Wisecrack: I would tell you a gym joke, but you'll have to weight for it...

Q. What did the gym newbie say to the bodybuilder who lifted until he couldn't even budge one more rep?
A. You're a failure.

Workout Wisecrack: When I was younger, I looked forward to getting up early to exercise. Now, getting out of bed in the morning is my exercise.

Q. Why would an elephant float down river on his back?
A. Because he didn't want to get his tennis shoes wet.

Q. Why is there such a high divorce rate among tennis players?
A. 'Cause love means zip to them.

Q. What is the hardest thing about knowing you're really good at tennis?
A. Telling your folks you're gay...

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