Gold Medal Says: Happy Won-Day! - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Q. What Did the Coach Say to His Losing Team of Snakes? A. You Can't Venom All!
The lazy trainer just sits around doing nothing. He's such a couch potato!
Gnomes are good sports who strive for pun perfection!


Header Soccer Puns and World Cup Football Jokes
Goal is to get a kick out of soccer jokes, futbol humor, football jokes or whatever you call it...

Soccer Jokes, GOAL! Humor, Funny Futbol Puns
(Because Dribbling Puns, Header Humor, and Red Card Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream on the Soccer Field!)
Warning: Head On with Caution! Goalie jokes, soccer player humor, football fun and head-pounding puns ahead.
| Baseball Jokes | Basketball Humor | Bodybuilder Puns | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing Jokes |
| Camping and Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Fitness LOLs | Golf Jokes | Gym Jokes | Gym Flirts |
| Gnome Gym | Olympic Sports Jokes | Running Jokes | Scary Sports Puns | Snow Skiing Jokes |
| Soccer Jokes, Futbol Puns | Sports Animals | Sports Bar LOLs | Swimming Puns | Tennis Jokes |
| NFL Football Jokes | Go Denver Broncos! | Colorado Sports Humor | Water RecreationH umor |

Sports bar joke: A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicked him out!Q. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the team? A. Because she ran away from the ball!Q. What lights up a soccer stadium? A. A soccer match!

Q. Why does a soccer ball curse and swear so much?
A. It just gets a kick out of it.

Q. Where do mucho macho soccer players go to dance after a ganar?
A. To the Futball.

Q. Why are score-hungry soccer players such messy eaters?
A. Because they're always dribbling.

Soccer Pick Up Line: Hey girl, since I'm a soccer player, I'm really good at footsie.

Q. What do you get if you cross a World Cup soccer player with the Invisible Man?
A. Goals like you've never seen before.

Q. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
A. Because her soccer coach was a pumpkin

Q. Why did the ball quit the soccer team?
A. It was tired of being kicked around.

Q. What are successful soccer kickers always trying to achieve?
A. Real goals!

Q. Why don't locusts and Japanese beetles attend many soccer games?
A. They prefer cricket matches!

Q. Why is it a bad idea to have a soccer match in the jungle?
A. Because there are so many cheetahs there!

Q. Why do soccer players do so well in school?
A. Because they know how to use their heads!

Q. Why did the child soccer player bring string to the game?
A. To tie the game.

Q. What do soccer players wear on Halloween?
A. Football helmets.

Soccer Player Pick Up Line: Hey girl, you know, I am allowed to use my head in this game.

Q. When is a soccer stadium the hottest?
A. After all the fans have left.

Q. Why don't grasshoppers attend football games? A. They prefer cricket matches!Q. What do they call a soccer game ref in Transylvania? A. A Vumpire!Q. Why shouldn't you break up with a goalie on Valentine's Day? A. Because he's a keeper!

Q. Why do soccer players have a hard time eating pizza?
A. They think they can't use their hands.

Q. Why don't they play cricket in China?
A. 'Cause somebody would eat the bat.

Q. Which soccer player keeps the field clean?
A. The sweeper.

Q. Why couldn't anybody see the soccer ball?
A. The defense cleared it.

Q. Why do so many Americans play soccer?
A. So they don't have to watch it on TV.

Q. What do you call the monkey that made the winning soccer goal?
A. Chimpion!

Q. Why did the sausage quit playing soccer?
A. Because it was the wurst on the team.

Q. What is a ghost soccer player's best position?
A. Ghoulie.

Q. What did the mummy coach say to the ghoul's soccer team?
A. Okay, let's wrap up this game!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite spot on a football field?
A. Between the ghoul posts.

Q. Where do zombie soccer players go swimming during their off season?
A. The Dead Sea.

Q. Why did the vampire suck at soccer?
A. His fang was not in it.

Q. Why wasn't the skeleton any good at soccer?
A. His heart just wasn't in it.

Q. How is a bad soccer team like a worn-out old bra?
A. No cups and little support.

Q. What do soccer players send out during the holidays?
A. Yellow cards.

Q. When should gallant gentlemen football players wear armor in the UK?
A. Only when they play knight games.

Soccer Hookup Line: Hey girl, are you a soccer fan? 'Cause I am gonna score tonight.

Q. What didn't the athletic dog want to play soccer with the neighborhood kids?
A. 'Cause he was a boxer.

Losing Soccer Hookup Line: Hey girl, if you were a soccer ball, I'd never shoot because I would only miss you.

New record set by gnome worthy athleteQ. Which sporting event do hogs hold every four years? A. The Olympigs!Gold Medal Says: Happy Win's Day!

Q. Why was a tiny ghost invited to play on the football squad?
A. The soccer team needed a little team spirit.

Q. When do British football players drink beverages?
A. When they're on the penal-tea mark.

Pro Soccer Player Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I'd like to take a shot at your goal.

Q. Why couldn't the losing soccer team even find their own website?
A. 'Cause they couldn't manage three Ws in a row.

Q. What lights up a football stadium every time?
A. A match!

Q. Which kind of soap will you find at a soccer game?
A. Olay!

Soccer players are the only people who can dribble and still look neat.

Q. What is it called when the dinosaur on the soccer team makes a goal?
A. A Dino-Score!

Q. Which kind of dinosaur was a soccer referee?
A. The Bronto-score-us.

Q. What is necessary for achieving one's goals?
A. A soccer ball.

Futbol Pick-Up Line: Goal Girl! You must be a forward on the soccer team because you've been running through my mind all day!

Q. Why was the chicken ejected from the football match again?
A. For persistent fowl play.

Q. Which animals make the best soccer players?
A. Score-pions!

Q. Why couldn't the old school all-star soccer player listen to kicking music now?
A. 'Cause he already broke all the records.

Q. How are scrambled eggs like a losing soccer team?
A. They've both been beaten.

Q. What did the hotdog soccer player say when the team won the championship?
A. I'm a wiener!

Q. How did the old soccer player die?
A. He just kicked off.

Goalie Fact of the Day: Soccer is 90% mental. The other half is physical. Yeah, the head took another hit today, and I'm not talking about weed.

Q. Where do USA soccer players go when they need a new uniform?
A. New Jersey!

Soccer Chat Up Line: Hey girl, how would you like to practice some penalty kicks with me?

Old soccer players never die, they just lose their kick.

| Baseball Jokes | 2 | Basketball Puns | Bodybuilder Jokes | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing LOLs |
| Camping Puns and Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Fitness Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Golf Jokes |
| Gym Jokes and Workout Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | Gym Flirts | Gnome Gym | Olympic Sports Jokes |
| Running Jokes, Jogger Puns, Marathon Laughs | Scary Sports Humor | Snow Skiing Jokes |
| Soccer Jokes, Futbol Puns | Sports Animals | Sports Bar LOLs | Swimming Jokes | Tennis Jokes |
| NFL Football Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Colorado Sports Humor | Water Recreation |
| Sports Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Sports Pick-Up Lines |

PainfulPuns Home
You've headed along this far, so here's even more well-coached laughter,
humor goals, footloose jokes and kickin' painful puns that always score

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bigfoot Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Cheese Puns | Colorado Jokes | Cop Jokes | Europe Vacation Jokes | Diet Jokes |
| Hipster Humor | Insect Jokes | Money Puns | Music Jokes | Pirate Jokes | Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes |
| Seasonal Puns | School Jokes | Snake Jokes | Sock Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Travel Jokes | Vampire Jokes |

Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Monstrously Funny Puns Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2021 Logo Man All rights reserved.