Gold Medal Says: Happy Won-Day! - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Gold Medal Says: Happy Win's Day!
Q. What Did the Coach Say to His Losing Team of Snakes? A. You Can't Venom All!


Olympic Sports Jokes, Medalist Humor, Bronze Puns
Get into the games with world class sports puns, top athlete humor, and gold medal winning jokes.

Olympics Jokes, Gold Medal Puns, #1 Humor
(Because Olympic Athlete Jokes and Record-Breaking Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream In Ancient Greece!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Summer games jokes, Winter Olympics humor, and bronze medal puns ahead.
| Bodybuilder Jokes | Boxing LOLs | Fitness Humor | Golf Jokes | Gym Jokes and Workout Humor |
| Gym Flirts | Gnome Gym | Olympic Sports Jokes | Running Jokes, Jogger Puns, Marathon LOLs |
| Scary Sports Humor | Snow Skiing Jokes | Soccer Jokes and Futbol Humor | Sports Animals |
| Sports Bar Laughs | Sports Jokes | Sport Pick-Up Lines | Swimming Jokes | Tennis Player Puns |

Q. Which sporting event do hogs hold every four years? A. The Olympigs!
Strong aging cheese failed to medal at the olympics, because it tripped at the final curdle.
A bank manager who was also a high jumper spent most of his time in the vault!

Q. What do you call commercials shown during the summer and winter global games?
A. Olympi-ads.

Q. Why was the spotted cat disqualified from the Olympics?
A. He was a confirmed cheetah.

Q. Which was the fastest dinosaur that competed in the Jurassic Olympics?
A. The Prontosaurus.

Q. Who authorred the new book, How To Win the Olympics?
A. Vic Torry.

Did you hear the joke about the bad pole-vaulter at the Olympics? It never goes over very well...

Q. Why was the Olympic runner still in bed?
A. He was fast asleep.

Q. What does an Olympic runner lose after winning the race and a gold medal?
A. His breath.

Q. When is a world class Olympic sports stadium the absolute hottest?
A. After all the fans have left.

Q. What do you call it when an Olympic high jumper tries too hard?
A. Overdoing it.

Q. When is the absolute worst time for an Olympic runner to have an erection?
A. During a relay race!

Olympics Pick-Up Line: Are you a high jumper? 'Cause you make my bar go up.

Q. Who wrote the winning new book titled, The Olympic Trials?
A. Will Lee Qualify.

Gym Joke: My struggle with steroids has only made me stronger!
Gold Medal Asks: Which days of the week are the strongest? A. Saturday & Sunday. The rest are week days!
Q. Why did the cabbage win the race? A. Because it was a head!

Q. Why didn't the furry marsupial althlete make it onto the Olympics team?
A. 'Cause he didn't koala-fy!

Q. What do some Olympic athletes take for peak performance?
A. Pro-team supplements.

Q. Why couldn't the olympian listen to music in 1968?
A. Because he broke the record!

Q. What is a foot surgeon's favorite Olympic sport?
A. Arch-ery.

Q. Why did the Olympian put her gold medals on display before the rest?
A. First things first.

Did you hear about the bodybuilder who took part in the sun tanning event at the Olympics? He only got the bronze.

Q. What was Betty Crocker awarded for her winning efforts in the 1960 Baking Olypmpics?
A. A lifetime supply of Gold Medal Flour.

An Olympic gold medal swimmer walks into a bar and orders a pitcher of beer. Yeah, he drinks like a fiish, too.

Q. Why is it impossible to win in an Olympic race against a runner from Finland?
A. 'Cause before you even start, they are already Finnish.

Q. Why couldn't the garden gnome runner compete in the Olympics?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!

Q. What did the ancient Greeks wear on their feet at the first Olympics?
A. Athletic Zeus.

Q. How are scrambled eggs like a losing Olympian?
A. They've both been beaten.

New record set by gnome worthy athlete
Q. What is a locksmith's favorite winter sport? A. Skiiing!
Just Say Gnome to Steroids!

Q. What do olympics gymnasts like on their popcorn?
A. Sommer-salt.

Q. How did the old gold medal-winning gymnast die?
A. She just flipped out.

Q. Why do Olympic gymnasts make great NFL kickers?
A. They know how to split the uprights.

Q. What is a banana's favorite Olympic gymnastics move?
A. The splits.

Q. Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition at the Winter Olympics?
A. He led the race from start to Finnish.

Q. What do you call a very slow Olympic skier?
A. A slope-poke

Q. What do young Olympic-hopeful skiers enjoy most at school?
A. Snow and Tell!

Q. Which Olympic sport always captures the attention of Colorado locksmiths?
A. Skiing!

Q. Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
A. They all tested positive for WD-40!

Bulking Up Tip of the Day: If anabolic steroids cause erectile dysfunction, just say NO to drugs!

Olympic Spectator Chat Up Line: You must be a gold medal track star because you've been running through my mind all day!

Q. What did the charismatic Olympic runner do after he won the gold medal?
A. He decided to go into politics and run for office.

Q. Which days of the week are teh strongest? A. Saturday & Snday. The rest are week days!
Q. What do you call a donkey on steroids? A. An ass-teroid!
Gnoe Doubt, Steroids Are Bad!

Q. Why wasn't sun bathing an Olympic sport in ancient Greece?
A. 'Cause the best you could get is a bronze.

Q. What did the blonde say after losing the breaststroke swimming event at the Olympic qualifyer?
A. She got mad and accused the other swimmers of cheating 'cause they used their hands!

Q. How did the old Olympic gymnast die?
A. He just flipped out.

After the Olympics, a high jumper vaults into a bar. Bartenderr says, "I can't serve you. You're already over your limit."

Q. Why was Jupiter banned from the solar system boxing match?
A. It tested positive for asteroids.

Q. Why won't Cinderella ever medal at the Olympics?
A. She has a pumpkin for a coach, plus she runs away from the ball.

Q. What was the fastest bug competition ever held in the Olympics?
A. Quicket, in 1900.

A gold medal winner pole vaulter lands in a bar and orders two pitchers of beer. Bartender asks, "How long do you plan to stick around?"

Q. What did the coach say when the worst swimmer asked about his chance of winning a medal at the Olympics?
A. Don't hold your breath, kid.

Q. Why can't the old-school Olympic all-star athlete listen to retro music?
A. Because he broke all the old records!

Bodybuilder Joke of the Day: Gymnasium means naked exercise in ancient Greek. But don't try that line on the health club receptionist, unless you've seen an ode to her on an urn!

A famous old Russian Olympic gymnast tumbles into the bar. Bartender says, "You can stay 'cause I don't want you to flip out."

| Baseball Jokes | 2 | Basketball Puns | Bodybuilder Jokes | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing LOLs |
| Camping Puns and Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Fitness Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Golf Jokes |
| Gym Jokes and Workout Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | Gym Flirts | Gnome Gym | Olympic Sports Jokes |
| Running Jokes, Jogger Puns, Marathon Laughs | Scary Sports Humor | Snow Skiing Jokes |
| Soccer Jokes, Futbol Puns | Sports Animals | Sports Bar LOLs | Swimming Jokes | Tennis Jokes |
| NFL Football Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Colorado Sports Humor | Water Recreation |
| Sports Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Sports Pick-Up Lines |

PainfulPuns Home
You're still sporting a smile, so here's more gold medal laughter, winning
humor, victorious jokes and gamey painful puns that score a perfect 10:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Banker Jokes | Circus Humor | Colorado Jokes | Donkey Puns | Druggist Jokes | Gold Jokes | Locksmith Laughs |
| Man Jokes | Music Humor | Pig Puns | Police Puns | Psychic LOLs | Saturday Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns |
| Sunday Funs | Sun Puns | Superman Jokes | Travel Jokes | Ufology Jokes | Vegetable Jokes | Week Day LOLs |

Cheesy Puns & Sharp HumorPainful Jokes & Groaner Puns Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Gnome Puns IntendedMonstrously Funny Puns

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2021 Logo Man All rights reserved.