Gym Pick-Up Line: Word of the day is: Legs. Wanna go back to my place and spread the word?

Q. Why didn't any of the bodybuilders laugh at the Painful pre-workout Pun?
A. 'Cause it was a bit of a stretch.

Q. What did the newbie at the gym say to the female bodybuilder twins?
A. Those really are super sets.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Do you believe in love at first set? Or, should I curl this barbell another 10 times?

Q. Why did Satan open a gym?
A. So he could exercise his demons.

Q. Why did a priest open a gym across the street from Satan's Fitness Center?
A. To exorcise his demons.

Q. What do you call a group of priests working out at the gym?
A. Muscle mass.

New Gym Visitor: What does this machine do?
Trainer: It's a bench.
New Gym Visitor: Perfect!

Q. Why did the guy quit the over-crowded gym?
A. He was tired of the long weights.

Fitness Point to Ponder: Wouldn't excercise be more fun if calories screamed when you burned them?

Gym Pick-Up Line: Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kicking!

Workout Wisecrack: Remember, your brain needs exercise, too. So, spend lots of time thinking up excuses not to work out.

Gym Confession: Sometimes, I look like I'm working out, but I'm actually using every muscle in by body to keep from farting.

Q. What is the name of a binary value that eats right and exercises?
A. A Fit Bit.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, are you thirsty? 'Cause I've got a six-pack right here.

Q. How did the bodybuilder know he was finally the hottest guy at the gym?
A. He had a fever of 102º.

Fitness Failure: I've started a new exercise regimen. Every morning when I get up, I do one sit-up.

Gym Pick-Up Line Gone Wrong: Hey Babe, do you squat here often?

Q. What happened after the guy took bench press out of his workout schedule?
A. It was a huge weight off his chest.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, the elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up!

Man at the Gym: I want to impress a girl. Which machine should I use?
Trainer: Try the ATM outside.

Two chameleons walk into a gym. First one says, "Spot me, bro." His bud replies, "Who said that?"

Q. What do chickens work on at the gym?
A. Their pecks!

Gym Pick-Up Line: Are you a high jumper? 'Cause you make my bar go up.

The only exercise I've done this month is running out of money.

Q. What is a swimmer's favorite sport?
A. Pool.

Q. Why did the fish stop lifting weights?
A. He pulled a mussel.

Fun Fitness Fact: Did you know eating oysters can increase your mussel mass?

Gym Pick-Up Line: Girl, do you have a bandaid? 'Cause I'm cut!

Q. What does Bigfoot do for exercise?
A. Sas-squats!

Q. What did the gym newbie say to the bodybuilder who lifted until he couldn't even budge one more rep?
A. You're a failure.

Q. What is the biggest fear of an obese ghost?
A. Being exercised.

Q. What does the hot beach gym's snack bar serve?
A. Steamed mussels.

Bodybuilder Pick-Up Line: Hey there, did you get that body at McDonald's? 'Cause of that Big Mac, my macros are all over the place.

Q. Why are kegels such a great exercise?
A.'Cause they make you stronger on the hole.

Did you hear about the new gym, Resolutions? They feature workout equipment the first two weeks, and then it's a bar for the rest of the year.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes three years in a row...

Workout Point to Ponder: If you work out religiously, does that mean twice a year, around the holidays?

Q. What is the best protein a bodybuilder could possibly eat?
A. Another bodybuilder.

Q. What's the name of the new online exercise business that delivers equipment to your front door, if you requested it or not?
A. Jehova's Fitness.

Funny Fitness Center Failure: I can't help it if I'm lazy. It walks in my family...

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