Q. Why are there so few jokes about Erich Von Daniken?
A. Because one simply does not mock one's mentor!

Q. Why are there so few jokes about Erich Von Daniken?
A. Because ancient gods in flying chariots took off with them all.

Q. Why are there so few jokes about the show, Ancient Aliens?
A. Seriously? Because it is not a joke!

Earthling Point That Extraterrestrials Ponder: Isn't it ironic that Ancient Aliens is only 10 years old?

Q. Which mere Earthling is an absolute god to aliens visiting our solar system?
A. Giorgio Tsoukalos. True story!

Q. How many languages does Ancient Aliens icon Giorgio Tsoukalos speak?
A. English, French, German, Greek, Italian and Klingon.

Q. Why did Ancient Astronauts cross the road?
A. Their theory was to inspire Erich von Daniken at the right time and in the right place.

Ancient Alien Chaser Pick-Up Line: Are you an alien? 'Cause you just abducted my heart!

Q. Why are those who study UFOs called ufologist instead of ufoologist?
A. Because they don't want to look foolish!

Q. Why does the History Channel program, Ancient Aliens, cause so many UFO crashes?
A. Because little green men always crack up when they watch it!

Q. Why did Erich von Daniken walk across the road?
A. Because Ancient Aliens gods took off in his chariot.

Q. Why did Ancient Aliens cross the road?
A. Because Erich von Daniken is on a quest to rediscover our alien ancestors.

Q. Why did Giorgio Tsoukalos cross the road?
A. Because. Aliens.

Q. Why are there so few jokes about Erich Von Daniken?
A. Because ancient aliens took off with them all in a winged dragon.

Q. Which hypothetical science history television series is the favorite of aliens and the gods?
A. Ancient Aliens.

Q. Why don't aliens have sex in public view?
A. They prefer to come in peace.

Q. Why did the UFO chaser quit his job?
A. He was getting too caught up in his work.

Ancient Aliens Point to Ponder: Could it be possible that aliens abduct David Hatcher Childress while he's asleep and probe his mind to figure out where he got that koynd of an accent?

Q. What attracted David H. Childress to Ancient Astronaut Theory?
A. Several koynds of UFOs are shaped like pies and cookies.

Q. What did the green space alien say when David Childress discovered him in a restaurant's walk-in freezer?
A. I cum in peas.

Old Ancient Aliens never die. They just move on to another world.

Q. Which ancient astronaut wears the biggest helmet?
A. The one with the biggest head.

Ancient Aliens Point to Ponder: Could it be possible that aliens abduct Giorgio Tsoukalos while he's asleep to style his hair?

Q. How are a space alien and a autograph book full of celebrity UFO hunter signatures alike?
A. Both come from the stars.

Q. Where do busty blonde aliens go?
A. Areola 51. Duh!

Q. Why did the blonde UFO chaser quit her job?
A. She didn't want to get abducted. DUH!

Q. Why is there a dearth of evidence regarding jokes about Mike Bara of Ancient Aliens fame?
A. Because he's too busy chasing Bigfoot and poking around into conspiracy theory television.

Q. What is the difference between smart blondes and UFOs?
A. UFO sightingss are reported all the time.

Q. Why don't aliens in UFOs ever abduct clowns and mutilate them?
A. Because they smell so damned funny.

Q. Which earthly television series continues to be the favorite of time traveling spacemen throughout history?
A. Ancient Aliens.

Alien Point to Ponder: Why do UFO hunters still surveil Area 51, considering I.C.E. has already rounded up all the aliens?

Q. What do UFO chasers call it when planet Earth has too many aliens?
A. Extraterrestrials.

Q. What does LGM stand for?
A. 'Cause he does't have time to sit around.

The truth is out there. Does anybody at Twitter have the URL?

Quid Pro Quo Point to Ponder: When extraterrestrials are probed on Ancient Aliens, do they find that a violation of their privacy the same way human abductees do?

Two ancient alien theory investigators walked into a bar on the moon, but they left after a few minutes because there just wasn't any atmosphere.

Alien Point to Ponder: When extraterrestrials finally land in Washington, DC, will we honor them with LGM Pride parades?

Unearthly Point to Ponder: Isn't it ironic that humans who were raised too Catholic as children turn to AA as adults? Ancient Aliens, that is.

Q. Why don't space aliens celebrate birthdays or Xmas?
A. Because they don't like to give away their presence.

Ancient Astronaut Theory Point to Ponder: Are LGM (Little Green Men) offended by that term if they're in fact gray aliens?

Q. What does LGM stand for?
A. Little Green Man. And, that's not even a joke!

Q. What does Linda Moulton Howe call it when you're abducted by a Bigfoot from outer space?
A. An encounter of the furred kind.

Q. Why did Linda Moulton Howe leave Denver's Channel 7 in 1983 to focus on alien cattle mutilations full time?
A. Because she sensed legalized marijuana was coming to Colorado and she didn't want to report on such a sketchy topic.

Q. Why don't we joke around about Philip Coppens of Ancient Aliens?
A. Because he's moved on to the next dimension with extraterrestrial comrades. And, we miss him as much as Kathleen McGowan does.

Q. Which television series is on the radar of the US Space Force?
A. Ancient Aliens Declassified.

Q. Why don't we joke about Bill Birnes?
A. After his show UFO Hunters ended, he became a city auditor and that's not funny at all.

Q. Who wrote the definitive guide about crashed aliens in the American Southwest?
A. Roz Well.

Q. Post Roswell, why are there only 18 letters in the American English alphabet?
A. 'Cause ET took off in a UFO and then the CIA chased after them all!

Q. Why don't we joke around about Ancient Aliens' George Noory?
A. Because that mustache alone is funny enough.

Q. Which television series is the favorite of Martians and the gods?
A. Ancient Aliens.

Q. Which cable TV channel is the favorite of space alien extraterrestrials, junk men, and rednecks?
A. History Channel.

Q. Which pseudo sci-fi television series worries the CIA the most?
A. Ancient Aliens Declassified.

Q. Why aren't there any jokes about Ancient Aliens' David Wilcock?
A. Because comedy writers confuse him with David Spade.

Alien Point to Ponder: Do LGM prefer Hatch chiles from New Mexico, or Colorado's Pueblo chiles?

Q. What is the difference between UFOs and honest politicians?
A. UFOs are actually a possibility.

Q. Does Nick Pope personally know of aliens?
A. We can neither confirm nor deny that.

Q. Why did Ancient Aliens cross the road?
A. To study all the rednecks and sleazy junk dealers on the so-called History Channel.

Q. Why do cryptic aliens like to create crop circles in Iowa instead of on the White Hoiuse lawn?
A. Because they're corny.

Q. Which tool do spaced out farmers need to create crop circles?
A. A pro-tractor!

Q How do Ancient Aliens fans greet each other at AlienCon?
A. They say: "Nanu, Nanu.The answers exist all around us. We are not alone. We have never been alone."

Q. Why are there no jokes about Jonathan Young, whose commentary deepens our thinking and broadens our understnading while contemplating Joseph Campbell's Great Myth?
A. Beecause Ancient Astronaut Theory is not just a mere myth. (Not a joke!)

Q. Which non-fiction galactic television series do space aliens binge watch aboard UFOs?
A. Ancient Aliens. No joke!

Q. What did NORAD do when a UFO flew from Roswell to Colorado Springs in two seconds?
A. They listed it in the top secret Guiness Book of Out-Of-This-World Records.

Q. Why are Painful Ancient Aliens Puns so funny?
A. Because they are out of this world!

Q. How many aliens does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to abduct the bulb, and another to probe it.

Q. Why are there so few funny UFO jokes out there?
A. Because they're over our heads!

Q. What do aliens call weird technical bugs that occur on the moon?
A. Luna Ticks!

Q. What do you call an obsessed space alien hunter?
A. An Astro-Nut.

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