Which TV show features cops solving crimes committed by
A. Lawn Order.
Why was the parrot in prison?
A. Because he was a jail bird.
What do you call it when a mean detective mutt follows you
A. Being cur-tailed.
Which animal has an asshole halfway up his back?
A. A police horse.
What was the ultimate goal of the police detective duck?
A. He wanted to quack the case!
Which diploma do blonde criminals earn?
A. The Third Degree.
were investigating a feline corpse that was found in a Xerox
machine. They're calling it a copy cat killing.
What do you call the teal-colored tape some police wrap
around crime scenes?
A. Cordon Blue.
What do you call a concierge ophthalmologist who helps the
police solve crimes?
A. A Private Eye Doctor.
Funny Groan of the Day: A guy was arrested by the police
and charged for killing a number of vampires. They've got
him on three counts.
What do you call well-dressed cops?
A. The Fashion Police.
Which police unit responds when terrorist mosquitoes attack?
A. The SWAT Team!
Do old police detectives ever die?
A. Nobody knows, because they're always under cover.
Why did the police arrest the guy who was playing pool?
A. He was picking pockets.
Who was the greatest thief ever?
A. Atlas, because he held up the whole world!
What do the cops say when they arrive during your tailgating
A. Dish is the Police!
What did the chemist say when he escaped the police?
A. Cu later, Copper!
Why did the cops try to arrest the vampire?
A. For robbing the blood bank.
were called to a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist
was reportedly shot in the face. They arrived to a sticky
guy tossed a penny down the well and made a wish …
that the police would never find Penny's body.
What do you call a cop who breezes through the new radar
gun's users manual?
A. A speed reader.
What kind of tea do cops prefer?
A. Police brew tally tea.
Why did the pot of coffee have to call the police department?
A. 'Cause it got mugged!
Why didn't the grammarian blonde respond to the cops?
A. Because they said, "Police, Open the door!"
What happened after the dummy robbed a bank?
A. Police are questioning a ventriloquist who may have had
a hand in it.
Pick-Up Line: Drop 'em!
not to say when you get pulled over:
Are you the guy from the Village People?
Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe,
wanna play good cop, bad cop?
What do the cops call a person who has been debriefed?
When do bounty hunters try hunt down illegal laughs?
A. When there are dental records.
What is the proper police attire for shadowing a suspect?
A. A follow suit.