Q. When does a brain become afraid A. When it loses its nerve!   PainfulPuns.com - Sick Puns, Doctor Jokes, Healthy Humor

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Psychiatrist Jokes, Shrink Puns, Crazy Laughs
Insane puns, Freudian slips, and shrink jokes are the therapy for whatever ails you!

Shrink Jokes, Psychiatrist Humor, Crazy Puns
(Because Pills Are Too Mainstream and Sane Laughter Works Better Than Shock Therapy)
Warning: Crazy jokes may lead to insane laughter. Proceed at your own risk.
Shrink Humor | 1 | Brain Jokes | 1 | 2 | Eye Doctor Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother.A guy walks into a psychiatrist office wearing only plastic wrap shorts. Shrink says: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. the bulb will change itself when it's ready!

Oh, momma mean a... !

My psychiatrist sent me for an MRI because she thinks I have a magnetic personality.

That shrink could see right through his egocentric behavior.

Q. What is the difference between a psychologist and a magician?
A. A psychologist pulls habits out of a rat!

Q. Why is psychotherapy a lot faster for a man than for a woman?
A. Because when it's time for a man to go back to childhood, he's already there!

Q. How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? A. SEX!Q. What is a great name for a therapist? A. Ophelia Paine!Q. How do crazy people go through the woods? A. They take the psycho path.

Q. What did the psychiatrist say to his blonde nurse?
A. "Please just say 'We're really busy," instead of 'It's a madhouse in here.'"

Neurotics build castles in the sky.
Psychotics live in them.

Psychiatrists collect the rent!

Q. What did the shrink say to the man with an elephant on his head?
A. "You have a lot on your mind."

Yet another reason the forest is really scary at night.

Q. Why did the mathematician send the expression to the psychiatrist?
A. Because it wasn't rational.

Groaner: A psychiatrist on a hike fell into a deep depression...Q. Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? A. Because the P is silent!If you get a gift basket from a psychiatrist, it'll probably be shrink wrapped.

That must be why the psychiatrist can't shrink the bill?

I don't have Bipolar Disease. It must be Down's Syndrome because I can handle the ups, but not the downs!

An elevator walks into a shrink's office and says, "Doc, I think I'm out of control." Shrink replies, "In your line of work, you're bound to have your ups and downs."

Q. What happens if a psychiatrist and a prostitute spend the night together?
A. In the morning, each of them says, "$200 Please."

Q. What is your shrink's favorite day of the week? A. Freud Day!Q. Where did the Psychiastrist eat lunch? A. Kentucky Freud ChickenQ. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one, but the bulb has to really watt to change!

Happy Freud Day Friday!

Did you hear about the shrink who spent a long weekend at a winter psychologist convention in Aspen? On Monday morning, he reported that he'd never seen so many Freudian slips.

When two egotists meet for lunch, it's an I for an I.

Patient: "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog!"
Shrink: "Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you."
Patient: "I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture!"

Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. I think I'm a deck of cards." The shrink replies, "Sit over there, and I'll deal with you later."

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