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Optometrist
Humor, Eye Jokes, Hum-Iris Puns
Cross-eyed
optometry puns, eye doctor humor, and eye-opening optician jokes to focus
on.
Eye Jokes, Optometry Humor, Eye Doctor Puns
(Because Focused Jokes and
Clearly Funny Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If
You Can't Find Your Glasses!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution! Unfocused humor, eye-ronic jokes, and blurry
puns you didn't see coming ahead.
| Eye Doctor Jokes, Optometrist Puns,
Ophthalmologist Humor | 2 |
3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| Eye Puns |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology
Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses
Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Dentist Grins | Doctor
Jokes | Surgeon Jokes | Psychiatrist
Jokes | Brain Jokes | Face
Jokes |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic
Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes
| Dr. Who Jokes |
Old
optometrists never retire. They just lose their focus.
Q.
What is the most common cause of feline blindness?
A. Cataracts!
Q.
What was the lens's excuse to the cop?
A. I've been framed. |
Insightful
Tip: Looking for something to tickle her funny bone and
light up her eyes? Just enlighten her with hum-iris
witticisms and arm yourself with humerus
jokes!
Eye
Doctor: You need to stop masturbating so often.
Patient: Why? Will I go blind?
Eye Doctor: No, but it's making the other patients very
uncomfortable.
|
Grandpa's
Weather Report: It's so foggy tonight that I can see through
my cataracts.
My
girlfriend has beautifully colored eyes. I particulary like
the blue one.
Q.
Why did the cell phone have to wear glasses?
A. Because it lost all of its contacts! |
Q. What did the mental patient ask his eye doctor?
A. Sometimes I just get tired of seeing things. Would it
help if I take off my glasses?
Q.
What did Old MacDonald say when he read the eye
chart?
A. EIEIO!
Q.
What does an eyeball say when it has a fun weekend?
A. Eye had the time of eye life! |
Visionary
Fact of the Day: Optometrists are never short sighted.
Far-Sighted
Pick Up Line: Hey girl,
eye see you in my future.
Patient
says, "I can't see very far with these new glasses."
Eye doc points out the window and asks, "What's that
up there?" Patient says, "The sun." Eye doc
replies, "Well, how far do you need to see?"
|
Q.
What are Spocktacles?
A. Eyewear on the planet, Vulcan.
Q.
What did the optometrist say to the patient with three eyes?
A. Aye, Aye, Aye.
My
eye doctor told me I needed multi-focal lenses, but all
I heard was, "You are getting old."
Q.
Why did the eyeball learn so quickly?
A. Because it had an Eye IQ. |
Q.
Where do bad strabismic patients go?
A. To Prism!
A
lady walked into a shrink's office and announced that she
had a screw loose. The blonde receptionist sent her to the
optician's office next door.
Q.
What does a garbageman use to see a long distance?
A. Bin-oculars. |
Q.
What did the judge say about the bad eye doctor pun during
the trial?
A. Eye will allow it.
Q.
What music do eye doctors prefer?
A. iTunes.
Q.
What did the Chinese businessman say when he was told he
has a cataract?
A. No, no, I drive a Rexus.
|
Q.
Where is the eye located?
A. Between the H and the J.
Dad
got a selfie stick for Father's Day. Turned out that he
can finally hold the phone far enough away to read his text
messages!
Focused
Point to Ponder: Why does wearing eyeglasses infer intelligence
rather than indicate broken eyes? |
Eye
like Friday, too!
Receptionist:
Why are you here to see the eye doctor today?
Patient: I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Receptionist: Have you seen the doctor?
Patient: No, only spots.
Q.
How many eye doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one, 'cause they clearly see the problem. |
Q.
Why did the eye doctor break up with the orthopedic surgeon?
A. Because the eyeball didn't find the elbow's humerus
jabs at all humor-iris.
Q.
What did the snowman say to his son?
A. I told you if you kept crossing your eyes, they'd
freeze that way!
Q.
Why are optometrists so smart?
A. Because they were good pupils.
Wink,
wink, you'll see this pun is a goody.
|
It's
always nice to have some fresh punch lines to break the
eyes.
Q.
What did the observant guy say to the cheesy street magician?
A. I see what you did there.
Q.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. FSH.
Q.
Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he could Nazi. |
|
Eye Doctor Jokes and Optometrist Humor
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | Eye
Puns | Sick Pick-Up Lines |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology
Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses
Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Doctor Jokes and Nurse Puns | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | Germ
Jokes | Dentist Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 |
| Surgeon Jokes | Urologist
Jokes | Constipation Jokes
| Diarrhea Jokes | Blood
Jokes | 2 |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic
Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes
| Dr. Who Jokes |
| Sick Medical Jokes, Healthy Hospital Puns
| Shrink Humor, Psychiatrist Jokes
| Brain Jokes | 2
|
| Body Jokes | Human
Anatomy Jokes | Inner Body Puns,
Back Jokes | Butt Jokes | Heart
Humor |
| Male Body Jokes, Viagra Jokes | Female
Body Jokes | Chest Jokes, Pec Puns,
Breast Humor |
| Head Humor | Face
Jokes | Ear Puns | Nose
Jokes | Neck Puns | Ear,
Nose, Throat Humor |
| Mouth Jokes | Hand
Jokes, Finger Puns, Arm Humor | Leg
Jokes | Foot Jokes | Belly
Laughs |
You've
seen a lot, but here's more
eye witness laughter, cornea
jokes,
humor spectacles and blurry
painful puns that might bring you to tears:
|
More
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Puns | Cemetery Jokes |
Chef Jokes | Daily
Groans | Diet Puns | Fitness
Humor |
| Gym Jokes | Lawyer
Jokes | Magician Jokes | Money
Groans | Music Puns | Pick-Up
Lines | Psychic Jokes |
| Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
Jokes | Undead Jokes | Vampire
Puns | Vegan Jokes |
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