Q. What is your shrink's favorite day of the week? A. Freud Day!   PainfulPuns.com - Sick Puns, Doctor Jokes, Healthy Humor

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Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor, Healthy Laughs
Take two sick puns, viral humor, and deadly funny jokes and call us in the morning!

Doctor Jokes, Surgeon Humor, Medical Puns
(Because Pills Are Too Mainstream and Healthy Laughter is the Best Medicine)
Warning: Doctors prescribe a dose of belly laughs and proper protection of your funny bone.
Doctor Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Dentist Humor | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
Eye Doctor Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Shrink Humor | 1 | Brainy Puns | 1 | 2 |

Q. What do you call a plastic surgeon knnown for leaving no scars A. Smooth operator!Q. Which kind of fish performs brain surgery? A. A brain sturgeon!Hospitals report hearts of bankers are in high demand by transplant patients because they've never been used!

Did you hear about the baby born in the new high-tech delivery room? It was cordless!

Q. What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?
A. One treats what you have, and the other thinks you have what he treats.

The worst time to have a heart attack has to be during a game of charades.

Q. Why do doctor's make the best Jedi? A. Because a Jedi must have patients!Q. Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? A. Because the P is silent!Did you hear about the circumcision doctor's wife who kept the foreskins? She made them into a purse. When she rubbed it, it became an overnight bag!

Patient: "Doc, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
Doctor: "Next time, take the candles off."

Urine: the opposite of "you're out."

Q. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
A. A URLologist.

Poor guy was in the hospital with 60% burns. Doc says, "Give him two Viagra." Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" Doc replies, "No, but it will keep the sheets off his legs!"

Never lie to an X-ray technician. They can see right through you.There are over 60,000 miles of blood vessels in the human body. No wonder I have tired blood!McCoy Says: Doctor's orders, Jim. Be a vulcan in the streets and a Klingon in the sheets!

Q. How is a hospital gown like health insurance?
A. You're never covered as much as you think you are!

Statistically speaking, 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.

PMS jokes are not funny, period.

I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up.

Q. What is the brain's favorite cable television channel? A. The Neural Network!Q. What do you do if ife gives you melons? A. See a doctor, because you're dyslexic!Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one, but the bulb has to really watt to change!

Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade? She gave herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy – and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift.

Patient: "Doc, I've swallowed a spoon!"
Doctor: "Please sit down, and don't stir."

Patient: "Do you think cranberries are healthy?"
Doctor: "I've never heard one complain."

Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. I think I'm a deck of cards." The shrink replies, "Sit over there, and I'll deal with you later."

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