Diet and Fitness Point to Ponder: Can a successful dieter win the Nobelly Prize?

Pick Up a Gym Rat Line: Hey dude, does your stomach need a tissue? 'Cause you've got some sick abs!

Q. What was the standup commedian working on at the gym?
A. Belly laughs.

Q. What happens if you eat too many big green peppers?
A. You end up with a bell-y ache.

Q. What do gym rats call it when somebody refuses to do core workouts?
A. Ab-stinent.

Q. What do gym rats call the group of guys with nicely sculpted core muscles?
A. Ab-do-men.

I was standing in front of the mirror admiring my six pack, but then it started to get warm, so I put it back into the refrigerator.

Crunchy Workout Point to Ponder: If an apple exercises, is that called a core workout?

Q. Why did the guy fail at his daily 200 situps workout?
A. 'Cause his body couldn't take the ab use.

Bodybuilder Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, are you thirsty? 'Cause I've got a six-pack right here.

Q. What do gym rats call the guy with freakishly large core muscles?
A. Abhorrent.

Musical Gym Pick Up Line: I'm to flexy for my shirt, too flexy for my shirt, too flexy for my shirt.

Q. What is it called when an obese guy's waist jiggles when he busts a move?
A. A belly dance.

Q. What do you call someone who can't stick with a belly-busting diet?
A. A desserter.

Q. What do gym rats call a lifestyle commitment to a trim waistline?
A. Core values.

Diet Industry Slogan: Large waistlines are an ever-expanding problem.

Diet and Fitness Point to Ponder: How can empty calories possibly take up so much space around your waist?

Q. What do you call a beer drinker without a six-pack?
A. Beer belly.

Diet Failure of the Day: I keep trying to lose belly fat, but it keeps finding me.

Q. What did the buff guy drink at the bar after rushin' through his core workout at the gym?
A. Absolut Vodka.

Belly Laugh of the Day: Some diets cause a gut reaction.

Q. What did the exotic dancer do after her mightclub act?
A. Belly up to the bar.

Q. Which '80s pop band had the best core muscles?
A. Abba.

Q. What do you call an exercise that combines a lunge and a crunch?
A. Lunch!

Fitness Failure: I've started a new exercise regimen. Every morning when I get up, I do one sit-up.

Q. How did T-Rex feel after his last killer abdominal workout?
A. Dino-sore!

Dieting Point to Ponder: Is belly fat a broad subject?

Q. Which Aussies were the first to concentrate on working out their ab muscles?
A. The native Ab-Originals.

Q. How do you describe the guy at the gym with monstrously big six-pack muscles?
A. Abominable.

Q. What do shrinks call patients who exibit a compulsion to acheive freakishly buff core muscles?
A. Aberrent behavior.

Q. What did the magician say before doing his daily sit-ups?
A. ABra-CadABra.

Q. What do you call a guy who complains about doing crunches and sit-ups?
A. Belly acher.

Q. How do you know it's time to go on a diet?
A. Your muffin top now resembles a three-tier wedding cake.

Q. What dessert describes your girlfriend after a strenuous abdominal workout at the gym?
A. Sore Bae.

Waist Workout Wisecrack: I love doing crunches: Doritos, popcorn, pretzels...

Q. Why did the overweight standup comedian finally go on a gut-busting diet plan?
A. 'Cause he was at his width's end.

Q. What do you call it when you blow your diet by eating a whole bag of Doritos instead of doing crunches at the gym?
A. A Snaccident!

Q. What do you call a scary good core workout?
A. Absolutely gut wrenching.

Intuitive Fitness Fact of the Day: Some diets cause a gut reaction.

Q. How did the guy know it was time to lose some belly fat?
A. Gut instinct.

Hawaiian Fitness Point to Ponder: If a pineapple exercises, is that called a core workout?

Workout Wisecrack: I've been a gym member for six months, but I don't see any core progress. Maybe I need to go there in person to see what's going on?

Q. How do you describe the flavor of that pink upset stomach medicine?
A. Pept-abysmal.

Q. What does a ghost take when it suffers from acid reflux?
A. Phan-Tums.

Q. What did the gym newbie drink at home after doing a few crunches at his first workout?
A. A six-pack of light beer.

Q. What happened to the fat cat banker after he quit the gym?
A. He went belly up.

Un-Fit Groan of the Day: My six-pack is protected by a layer of fat. EW!

Q. Why are chemistry labs good for a quick core workout?
A. They can make you buffer.

Q. Why did the pleasingly plump guy claim he was in shape?
A. 'Cause round is a shape, too!

Q. Why did the blonde dieter get kicked out of Fat Fighters at her first visit?
A. Because they did not offer sumo wrestling there.

Unhealthy: What thin people call you when you are fat, and fat people call you when you are thin...

Q. What is the secret to writing successful diet books?
A. You have to have broad appeal to a very wide audience.

Workout Point to Ponder: If the guys at the gym call you a big fat loser, is that a dis or a huge compliment?

Q. What is the fastener above the zipper of your pants called?
A. A belly button.

Q. How do you know your low fat diet is working?
A. Your belly fat hangs lower every day!

Did you hear about the new core workout at the gym that's so successful that it takes your breadth away?

Q. What is the definition of a diet?
A. When you have to go to a great length to change your width.

Q. Why did the girl ghost go on a weight loss diet?
A. She wanted to keep her ghoulish figure.

Q. What is it called when a rapper goes to the gym for a quick core workout?
A. A Lil' Pump.

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