Q. How are music and slippery ice alike? A. If you don't C Sharp, you'll B Flat!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument? A. A Moo-Sician!
Q. What happens when you play the blues backwards? A. Your wife comes back, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison!
Q. What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base? A. A Flat Major!
Q. What did the guitarist do when he needed to turn his amp on? A. He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it!
Q. What did the drummer get on his IQ test? A. Saliva!

 


Music Jokes, Puns of Note, Musical Humor
Sing along with funny music memes, noted puns, scaly humor, and trebled jokes!

Off-Key Music Jokes, Flat Riddles, Sharp Puns
(It's Quiet Here ... Because We Haven't Tortured Visitors with MIDI Music Since 1999)
Warning: Listen at your own risk. Maestros, note your pain IS self-inflicted!
| Music Jokes | 2 |
3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Animal Music Jokes | Culinary Beats |
| Guitar Humor | Piano Jokes | Scary Funny Music | Superhero Tunes | Xmas Carol LOLs |

Which music genre appeals to cheese? R 'N BrieFavorite Song: Gnome Woman, Gnome CryQ. What is the difference between a fish & a guitar? A. You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish!

Q. What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar at the tasting party?
A. Lookin' Sharp!

Middle C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar. Bartender says to E-flat, "Sorry, we don't serve minors here."

Gnome Trivia: Favorite song of Caribbean gnomes is "Gnome Woman, Gnome Cry."

Q. How are trumpets like pirates?
A. They both murder in the high Cs.

Q. What kind of fish plays the guitar?
A. Bassist

Q. Why did Mozart dislike chickens?
A. Because they ran around screaming "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

A guy hit another on the head with a pop bottle, killing him. In court, he said he was influenced by the song "Let's Get Fizzy-Kill."Gnome, Gnome on the Range, Where the Deer and the Antelope...I just wrote a song about tortillas. Actually, it's more of a wrap.

A topless bar tried to have a Polka night, but all the accordianists kept getting hurt.

Q. How do you fix a broken tuba?
A. With a tuba glue!

Q. What do you call a tuba player who correctly notices the key signature?
A. Astute

Gnome, Gnome on the Range is not a cooking song.

Did you hear about the farmer who played guitar out in his cornfield? It was music to his ears.

Don't let you kids watch symphonies on TV. There’s too much sax and violins.

Q. What is a baker's fab fave Beatles' song?
A. Loaf is All You Knead.

If you can't sing with a mouth full of garbanzo beans, just hummus a tune!

Q. Which R&B funk tribute band only plays in kitchens?
A. Earth, Wind, and Fryer!

Metro Gnomes are always on time.Music Pick-Up Line: I don't play guitar, but I'll pluck your G string!Metro Gnomes enjoy percussion instruments.

Metro Gnomes make great beat cops, too.

Q. What is the best gift a musician could ever receive?
A. A broken drum. You can't beat it!

Q. What is "perfect pitch?"
A. When you lob a clarinet into a toilet without hitting the rim.

Q. What is the missing link between the bass and an ape?
A. The baritone.

Gnomes can carry a tune, even if their cheesy pick up lines can't.

Q. What do musicians in love send their girlfriends on Valentine's Day?
A. Forget-Me-Notes!

Q. What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up an oboe.

Metro gnomes are always on timely trends, but they do have some ticks.

Two musicians were walking down the street. One turns to the other and asks, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" The other replied, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife!"

Q. What's the range of a tuba?
A. About twenty yards, if you have a good arm.

Why do gnomes get a bad rap? Gnome Rhyme, Nor Reason.Creepiest Show Tune Ever: Getting to gnome you, getting to gnome all about you.Music Pick-Up Line: Are you a baritone? 'Cause I'd like to get to 1st bass with you

Gnome Rhyme, Gnor Reason: New troll hip hop duo.

C-sharp when you cross the street… or you're going to B-flat.

Oh, that's a show tune? It sounded like a gnome porno title. ...

Q. What's the difference between a cello and a coffin?
A. The coffin has the corpse inside.

Gnome Buddy has heard this one before. Now he's a left fielder.

Q. Why was the music theorist drunk? A. He tried to use a fifth with his tonic.

Why do gnomes make bad rappers? Gnome Rhyme, Ignor Reason!Music Pun: I break into song because I can't find the key.Gnome McDonald pranked the farm.

Plus, their tiny vocal chords can't be heard by dwarves and leprechauns.

Q. What do you call a musically gifted elf?
A. A Christmas Rap Artist!

Q. What do mummies (and daddies) listen to on Christmas Eve?
A. Wrap Music!

Q. Why did The Hulk flub his band audition?
A. Because he was so green.

Q. What is The Hulk's least favorite song?
A. Nobody Loves The Hulk by The Traits

Q. What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A. A-flat minor!

Q. What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
A. No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle.

Q. How do you make a cello sound beautiful?
A. Sell it and buy a violin.

A female cellist stayed first chair because she kept her scherzo short.

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| Guitar Humor | Piano Jokes | Scary Funny Music | Superhero Tunes | Xmas Carol LOLs |

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