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If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring!
Q. Who does a movie star vampire get letters from? A. His Fang Club!

Q. Which silent movie lawmen do locksmiths enoy the most? A. The Keystone Cops!
Favorite Movie: Gnome Alone

Green ET Says: Dating used to be dinner and a flick, now it's dank and a dick!
Q. Which silent movie actor liked a lake in Vermont? A. Charlie Champlain!


Film Jokes, Motion Picture Humor, Movie Title Puns
Get set for Hollywood humor, Oscar worthy laughs, B List movie star puns and indie film jokes.

Movie Jokes, Film Puns, Cinema Humor
(Because Stellar Movie Jokes, Flimsy Film Humor, and Porno Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for B List Actors!)
Warning: Premiere with Caution! Film actor jokes, flick humor, big screen laughs and porn star puns ahead.
| Film Jokes, Movie Title Puns | Television Jokes, TV Show Puns | Stage Actor Jokes, Play Puns |
| Actor Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Actor Pick-Up Lines | Mime Jokes | Magician Puns | Gnomes Acting Up |
| Creepy Clown Jokes and Circus Humor | Standup Comedian Jokes | Funny Jokes About Jokes |
| Dancer Jokes, Disco Humor, Dance Puns | Music Jokes | Guitar Player Puns | Colorado Music |

Q. Did you see the movie about a hotdog? A. It was an Oscar Weiner!Q. Why can't kids see the new pirate movie? A. Because it's rated ARRR!Q. Which famous movie diretor was native to a planet close to Earth? A. Martian Scorsese!

Q. Which film about auto mechanics won an Oscar?
A. Lord of the Springs.

Q. Which movie was about a typical family haunted by a turkey?
A. Poultrygeist.

Q. What happened when the well-know movie star was spotted?
A. It caused a seen.

Indie Film Star Pick Up Line: Hey dude, are you a method actor? 'Cause you are really in my head.

Q. Which classic thriller movie director had crabs?
A. Alfred Itchcock.

Q. Which Tom Cruise movie comedy was the most painful?
A. Top Pun.

Q. What did film critics say about the new Avengers movie?
A. It was Marvel-ous.

Q. Which type of film do you prepare for with a bowl of popcorn and a pocket of Kleenex?
A. Emotion picture.

Q. Which new dating site is preferred by folks over 50 who enjoy dark classic Hollywood films?
A. Noir Time.

Q. Why do you need to be careful not to watch too many pirate movies?
A. Because ye may get hooked.

Q. What did the movie's scene being filmed in a machine shop feature?
A. Bit parts.

Q. Which film was the cheesiest 1993 legal drama?
A. The Pelican Brie.

Q. What happens when you watch skeleton porno flicks?
A. You end up with boner.

Q. How did the new terrorist movie do at its premiere?
A. It was a real bomb.

Animated Come-On: Hey baby, is your name Ariel? 'Cause I'd say we mermaid for each other.

Q. What is a flim star's favorite day of the week?
A. Cues-Day.

Q. Which movie was about a city in Washington where everybody wears tank tops?
A. Sleeveless in Seattle.

Q. Which kind of maize makes dirty X-rated movies?
A. Corn stars.

Q. Which movie proved there will never be life on the Red Planet?
A. Martian Impossible.

Q. What is a space alien's favorite Disney movie?
A. Snow White and the Red Dwarfs.

Q. How are the movies Titanic and Sixth Sense alike?
A. Icy dead people.

Q. What is the name of a popular film about a young martial arts student in Pakistan?
A. The Karachi Kid.

Q. Which famous film and television actor is known for silly antics between takes?
A. George Looney.

Q. Which movie director was the most popular during the COVID-19 pandemic?
A. Quentin Quarantino.

Q. When does movie director, Oliver Stone, go to Dairy Queen?
A. Any Given Sundae.

Q. Which horror movie was about werewolves that come out at night and tow away everybody's cars?
A. The Hauling.

Q. Which kind of porn are autumn gourds into?
A. Pump Kink.

Gorilla Asks: Why do cheap guys watch porno movies backward? A. they like the part where the hooker gives the money back!The movie, Diarrhea – It's all over the place!Q. What does a serious collector of classic films own? A. Reel Estate!

Q. Which type of underwear do actors wear?
A. Movie Shorts.

Q. What is a ghost’s favorite kind of porno flick?
A. Ghouls Gone Wild.

Q. Why did the blonde ghost try out to be a porn star?
A. 'Cause she had really big boobies.

Q. What is Dracula's porn star name?
A. Vlad the Impaler.

Q. Which topical medication do new adult film stars use?
A. Neosporn.

Q. Why did the blonde vampire try out to be a porn star?
A. 'Cause she had really big fangs and thangs.

Q. Why don't porno movies ever win Oscars?
A. 'Cause their plots are always full of holes.

Q. What did the dyslexic perv order at the cinema concession stand?
A. A large cockporn.

Q. What did the candy bar say to the popcorn at the movie theater concession stand?
A. I bet you're quite popular.

Q. What did Stephen King's Christine suffer from?
A. Bad car-ma.

Q. Have you seen that new movie Constipated?
A. It hasn't come out yet.

Q. Which film was about really bad race car auto mechanics?
A. The Last and the Furious.

Q. Why are the best movie stars always such good pool players?
A. Because they know their cues.

Q. Which offbeat movie compares the lives of poet Oscar and actor Monty?
A. Wilde and Woolley.

Q. Why did the doctor send the porn star home after her exam?
A. Because she was X-ray-ted.

Q. What do you call an on-demand documentary about wood pulp production?
A. A paper-view movie.

Up and Coming Movie Star Come-On: Hey baby, my only dream role is being with you.

Theatrical Groan of the Day: I watched my first porn movie today. Gosh, I was so young back then.

At the Movies Hookup Line: Hey baby, is your name Cinderella? 'Cause I see that dress disappearing at midnight.

Q. Which animated movie deer wore an explosive vest?
A. Bombi.

Q. What do you call promos for movies about barbers or hair stylists?
A. Combing attractions.

Q. What did the guy say when his buds told him not to bother seeing that new boring film?
A. Dully noted.

Q. What is a brass player's favorite movie?
A. Gone with the Woodwinds.

Q. Do old movie editors ever die?
A. No, they just fade in and fade out.

Q. Which movie was about five fish families competing for control of the reef?
A. The Codfather.

Movie Star Chat Up Line: Hey girl, your beauty is so dangerous that you need a stunt double.

Q. What diid one mouse say to the other while they were chewing over a film reel?
A. I liked the book better.

B List Movie Star Hookup Line: Hey girl, I don't need a premiere to show you an opening night.

Q. Which comedic movie was about a rosy-colored flower container?
A. The Pink Planter.

Q. What happened in 1972 when The Godfather premiered?
A. Theaters were mobbed.

Q. What is a chef's favorite dystopian movie? A. The Hunger Games!Isn't it ironic that the Pirates of the Carribean DVD includes a piracy warning?What is a pickle's favorite movie? To Dill a Mockingbird

Did you hear about the new movie about the Atkins Diet? It's called, "Dude, Where's My Carbs."

Q. What was the cheesiest 1987 thriller film?
A. Feta Attraction.

Did you hear about the new movie about cheddar cheese? It's G rated.

Q. Which cheesy movie was about a pizza maker who was bitten by an arachnid?
A. Spi-Dough-Man.

Q. Why did Gordon Ramsey hate the last movie he saw?
A. It was Frozen.

Q. What is a long-haul trucker's favorite part of a movie?
A. The trailer.

Q. Which famous novel and film villain was known for using a reading desk?
A. Hannibal Lectern.

Big Screen Star Chat Up Line: Hey there, are you my light crew? 'Cause you light up my life.

Q. Which cheesy movie is the favorite of pizza?
A. Pie Hard.

Q. What do you call a famous actress who made a film about loading a ships's cargo?
A. Lading lady.

Q. Which animated film was about a long search for a lost office message?
A. Finding Memo.

Q. Which Jim Carrey movie was filmed in Denver?
A. Me, Myself, and I25.

Q. What is the name of the new documentary film about the famous dancer, Fred?
A. Astaire IS Born.

Q. Why do big screen actors always make good pool players?
A. Because they know all the cues.

B Mocie Star Hookup Line: Hey girl, let's get familiar with each other's body of work.

Q. Which movie title describes the COVID-19 pandemic perfectly?
A. No Country for Old Men.

Q. Which new movie features the COVID-19 virus in the leading role?
A. Around the World in 80 Days.

Pick Up a Screen Actress Line: Hey girl, you give me more butterflies than a PLACES call.

Q. Which film was about policemen chasing a lawless kilted musician?
A. The Piper Chase.

Q. What did Danny DeVito say when he was called in to do a new movie?
A. "I'll be there shortly."

Q. What is a pickle's favorite movie?
A. Brine's Song.

Q. Why are shovels, trowels, and spades so common in novels and movies?
A. 'Cause they're plot devices.

Q. Why were drive-in movie theaters so popular back in the day?
A. Because people flocked to them in droves.

Q. How did the blonde die at the movies?
A. She went to the drive-in to see the film, Closed for the Winter.

Hollywood Stuntman Hookup Line: Hey girl, you might want a body double for what we are about to do...

Q. What is your dog's favorite movie?
A. Pup Fiction.

Q. Why did the documentary movie about chickens get such bad reviews?
A. 'Cause it was very fowl.

Movie Star Come-On: Hey girl, to start my role of a lifetime, all I need is you as my co-star.

Q. Which hit movie was about people who make twisted violet-colored donuts?
A. The Cruller Purple.

Q. What is the name of the biographical film about soul superstar Otis?
A. The Redding Singer.

Did you hear that Sigma, The Master, and The Abzorbaloff are making a movie? It's called, "The Odd, The Bad, and The Ugly!"Did you see the Will Smith movie about McDonalds? It's called te Pursuit of Happy Meals!Q. Which Tom Cruise film was about cooking A. A few good menus!

Did you hear about the new movie featuring clocks? It's about time...

It appears that all the folks in crowd scenes in Hollywood films are all action and no talk.

Q. Was it hard for James Bond to steal secret plans for the new dastardly weapon?
A. No. It was easy as spy.

Blonde: Doc, are you a James Bond fan?
Dr: No.

Q. What did movie producers do when Sean Connery retired from 007 films?
A. They made Moore Bond films.

Q. Which James Bond movie revolves around small shrimp-like creatures?
A. A View to a Krill.

Q. What do you call a famous fictional spy who makes a ton of movies?
A. A high-yield Bond.

Q. What do people who have seen Star Wars multiple times give the film?
A. Great re-views.

Q. Which sci-fi movie character can use the power of the Force and the power of Potassium?
A. Bananakin Skywalker.

Q. Why did the vampire movie star act so batty?
A. It was in his blood.

Q. Which film goers are the favorites of movie vampires?
A. Their fang club.

At the Movies Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is your daddy Liam Neeson? 'Cause I'm Taken by you.

Q. What is the new movie that's set in a pizza parlor about?
A. A slice of life.

Q. What was the cheesiest 1992 military drama?
A. A Few Gouda Men.

Q. Which Tom Cruise movie was a real hamburger?
A. Top Bun.

Q. Which movie star do hammy thespian pigs try not to emulate?
A. Kevin Bacon.

Q. Was there ever a great movie about hotdogs?
A. Yes, there was one Oscar Weiner.

Q. How are dentures like famous movie stars?
A. Both only come out at night.

Q. What happened when Walt Disney passed away?
A. He went into a state of suspended animation.

Q. Why was the movie starring chickens rated R?
A. Because of all the fowl language.

Q. Which film was about a guy who was compelled to wander around searching for geniuses?
A. Brainspotting.

Q. How do you put characters on a screen?
A. Type.

Movie Ratings for Dummies:
G - Nobody gets the girl.
PG - The good guy gets the girl.
R - The bad guy gets the girl.
X - Everybody gets the girl.

Q. Why does Tom Cruise religiusly do his own stunts in every movie he makes?
A. Because death is the only way out of the Church of Scientology.

Q. Which 2001 movie was the cheesiest animated film?
A. Muensters Inc.

Q. Why did Dr. Frankenstein give up his dream to become an A list movie star?
A. Because he couldn't get the parts.

Q. Who does a movie star vampire get letters from?
A. Members of his fang club!

Q. What is the favorite movie of mime sheep?
A. Silence of the Lambs.

Q. Why was Dracula considered such a stellar movie star?
A. He always took parts he could really dig his teeth into.

Q. Why did the guy get fired from the theater that only features Pixar films?
A. 'Cause he forgot to show Up.

Q. Why do some people dislike 2D movies?
A. Because they lack depth.

Q. What did the German version of The Wizard of Oz include?
A. Munich-kins.

Q. Who is the most famous movie photographer in China?
A. Phil Ming.

Q. What is the hot new slogan of the Aurora Notel on E Colfax in Denver?
A. You've Rented the Room, Now Buy the Video!

Q. Why did the boss hire a former porn star?
A. He knew she had a lot of spunk in her.

| Film Jokes, Movie Title Puns | Television Jokes, TV Show Puns | Stage Actor Jokes, Play Puns |
| Actor Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Actor Pick-Up Lines | Mime Jokes | Magician Puns | Gnomes Acting Up |
| Creepy Clown Jokes and Circus Humor | Standup Comedian Jokes | Funny Jokes About Jokes |
| Vampire Performing Arts Puns | Artist Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Arty Hipster Pick-Up Lines |
| Photographer Jokes, Photography Humor | Museum Jokes | Colofrul Jokes | Designer Puns |

| Dancer Jokes, Disco Humor, Dance Puns | Music Jokes | Guitar Puns | Colorado Music Jokes |
| Singer Jokes, Vocalist Song Puns | Composer Jokes | Brass Music Jokes | Musician Come-Ons |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Band Jokes | Drummer Jokes |
| Hip Hop Puns | Sax and Violins Puns | Chef Tunes | Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi Music Jokes |
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |

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