Q. How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Aries guys are not afraid of the dark.

Q. How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one. Wanna make something of it?

Q. How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it takes a lot of light bulbs. Smash!

Q. How many Taurus men does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Tauruses don't like to change anything.

Q. How many Taurus men does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, under the condition there's a ten-course meal and hot sex afterward.

Q. How many Tauruses does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but try to convince them that the old bulb is useless and should be thrown out...

Q. How many Geminis does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two, but it will take all week.

Q. How many Geminis does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two, but it never happens because they keep arguing about who is going to do it and how it is going to be done.

Q. How many cheating husbands does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. Cheating husbands screw in motels.

Q. How many Cancer men does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but it takes a therapist two years to help them through the grieving process.

Q. How many Cancer men does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Cancers would worry themselves to death with the problem.

Q. How many Emo kids does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They all just sit in the dark and cry about it all.

Q. How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Leos don't change light bulbs, but they may get their agent to do it for you.

Q. How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Leos are so enthusiastic that they carry their own light.

Q. How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb?
A. They don't, but they'll roar so loud that somebody else will.

Q. How many Virgo men does it take to change a light bulb?
A. They don't have time to change their own light bulbs because they're too busy changing them for everybody else.

Q. How many Virgo guys does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, if he's a general contractor can remodel every room in the house and the garage himself, today.

Q. How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb?
A. How soon do you need it?

Q. How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. No, one. No on second thought make that two. Is that okay with you?

Q. How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Why change the bulb? Isn't it more romantic in the dark?

Q. How many Libra does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Gee, I dunno. Let me go get my divining rod and we'll dowse on it for a while.

Q. How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Just assume it's changed...

Q. How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Why do you want to know? Are you a cop?

Q. How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They'd rather sit in the dark.

Q. How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Sorry, that info is secret and only shared with my inner circle.

Q. How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Assholes never see the light anyway!

Q. How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Look, please ask me when I get back from India, okay?

Q. How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. The sun is shining, the whole day is ahead of us, and you're worried about a light bulb?

Q. How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but you have to suffer through puns, first.

Q. How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. It depends what you want it changed into.

Q. How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Capricorns don't buy light bulbs unless they're a legitimate business expense.

Q. How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Sorry, I don't waste my time with these ridiculous jokes!

Q. How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Why should I bother? It's just going to burn out again, anyway...

Q. How many aerospace engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. It doesn't take a rocket scientist, you know...

Q. How many safety inspectors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Four. One to screw in the bulb, and three to hold the ladder, for safety purposes.

Q. How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Well, you have to consider that everything is energy, so...

Q. How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 100, but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and light up the world.

Q. How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. I'm tired of all your questions and I'm just going to ignore your darkness.

Q. How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to screw it in, and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless abusurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of utter nothingness.

Q. How many Pisces does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Huh? The bulb is out?

Q. How many Pisces does it take to change a light bulb?
A. What light bulb?

Q. How many Pisces does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They're more concerned with inner light.

Q. How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five. And you should have seen that bulb! It had to be at least THIS big. The five of us was barely enough to reel 'em in!

Q. How many fatalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. What does it matter? We're all going to die anyway!

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