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What is the scariest day of the week? Boos Day!
Q. When does a brain become afraid A. When it loses its nerve!
Q. What is a heckler's favorite slogan? A. Just boo it!
Q. When does it rain brains? A. During a brain storm!
Q. Why is there a gate around cemeteries? A. Because people are dying ot get in!
Mad as I was, I didn't give the brain surgeon a piece of my mind.
Scary Pick-Up Line: Are you an alien? 'Cause this feeling in my gut makes me want to take you out!

 


Zombie Jokes, Brainy Puns, Un-Deadly Laughs
4 out of 5 brainy zombies eat up killer jokes, walking deadly humor, and gray-t puns that matter.

Undead Humor and Zombie Apocolypse Jokes
(Because Living Room Humor is NOT TOO Mainstream for Wandering Zombies on a Quest for Knowledge!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Running zombie jokes, dead walking, and gray area puns lurk un-dead ahead.
| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |

| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |

Q. What is a zombie's favorite day of the week? Fray Day!Q. What do you do if 99 zombies surround your home? A. Hope it's Halloween!Q. What do you call wood when it's scared? A. Petrified!

Q. Why did the zombie go crazy?
A. He lost his mind!

Q. What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A. Stop ragging on me!

Q. Do zombies eat brains with their fingers?
A. No, they eat fingers separately.

Q. Do the Walking Dead play NFL football?
A. They do! They play offense 'cause that's something to do in Denver when your're dead.

Q. What is it called when a zombie steals an idea?
A. Plague-giarism.

Q. How does a zombie see the future?
A. He uses the horrorscope!

Q. Where do zombies hunt for dinner?
A. In the living room.

Q. What killer round did the zombie order at the bar?
A. A shot of ta-kill-ya, a Bloody Mary, and a Mind Eraser!

Q. Who won the zombie apocalypse?
A. Nobody. It was a dead tie.

Q. What is a zombie's favorite dessert?
A. A handshake.

Q. How do you deal with a zombie you really disagree with?
A. Give him a piece of your mind!

Q. What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
A. Brainstorms.

Q. What time do zombies go to sleep?
A. When their dead tired!

Q. Which shampoo do smart zombies like best?
A. Head and Shoulders!

Q. How can you tell a zombie is tired?
A. He's dead on his feet!

Q. Why did the blonde guy think he was safe from a zombie attack?
A. 'Cause zombies don't go after Brians.

Q. What does it take to become a great zombie comedian?
A. Dead-ication!

Q. What do zombie college students eat?
A. Raw-men.

Zombie Humor: I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way...Q. Why don't mummies have any friends? A. Because they're too wrapped up in themselves!Scary Riddle: Zombie or Gnome, Who'd Prevail?

Q. What is the safest place to be during the zombie apocalypse?
A. The Living Room!

Q. What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
A. "Wow, you're in Grave condition!"

Q. What time do zombies wake up?
A. At Ate O'Clock!

Q. What do you call a lawsuit against a zombie?
A. Deceased and desist.

Q. Why don't zombies play NFL football?
A. They do! They play defense for Denver.

Q. What do you call a zombie with a hickey?
A. A necromancer.

Q. What do you call a hoard of zombies with really big lips?
A. The Zombie-a-pack-o-lips!

Q. Which sauce does a gourmet zombie prefer on his brains?
A. Grave-y.

Q. What did the zombie say before his big fight?
A. You wanna piece of me?

Q. Where do zombies tee off?
A. At the golf corpse.

Q. Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
A. The jokes were too funny to handle.

Q. Which is a zombie's favorite football team?
A. Washington Deadskins.

Q. Where do zombies go on vacation cruises?
A. The Dead Sea.

Q. Where do zombies with no arms and no legs play their championship baseball game?
A. Wrigley Field.

Q. How much does it cost to keep a zombie well fed?
A. An arm and a leg.

Q. What do you give a person with water on the brain? A. A Tap on the Head.Q. What do mummies listen to on Halloween? A. Wrap music!Q. Which ghoul is the best dancer? A. The boogie man!

Q. What did the zombie say to his date?
A. I love a woman with brains!

Q. What is a zombie's favorite holiday beverage?
A. Egg noggin.

Q. How does a zombie introduce himself?
A. "Hello, pleased to eat 'cha!"

Q. Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
A. His jokes were too funny to handle.

Q. How do zombies study for tests?
A. They eat a lot of brain food.

Q. If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
A. Ten after one.

Q. What happened to the vegan zombie?
A. He ended up in an insane asylum where he only had access to vegetables.

Q. Why didn't the zombie get the TV morning show host job?
A. They wanted someone more lively.

Q. Why is zombie hip hop called rap music?
A. 'Cause the C fell off.

Q. What do zombies call door-to-door salesmen?
A. Dead Ringers!

Q. What do you call a fast zombie?
A. Zoombie.

Undead Groan of the Day: The song, Zombie, by the Cranberries is in my head!

Q. What do you call a zombie who presses a door bell?
A. A dead wringer.

Q. Why did the zombie do well on his test?
A. Because it was a real no-brainer.

Q. How do patriotic zombies serve their country?
A. They join the Marine Corpse

Q. Why was the zombie happy to go to court?
A. He was hoping for another life sentence.

Q. What do you call a zombie father?
A. The Walking Dad.

Q. What is a zombie's favorite gym exercise?
A. Undeadlifts.

Zombie Joke: Q. Why did the lion spit out the clown? A. Because he tasted funny!Zombie, have you gnome mercy?Q. What do you call interns at a cemetery? A. Grave trainees!

Q. Why did the zombie comedian get booed off the stage?
A. Because his jokes were rotten!

Q. What does it take to become a zombie in the first place?
A. Deadication.

Q. Why aren't zombies very funny?
A. Most zombies won't eat clowns.

Undead Point to Ponder: Is it true that people who enjoy zombie movies are dead inside?

Q. What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A. A de-Bach-le.

Q. Why don't zombies play hockey?
A. They're cold-hearted, but they jost don't have the brains for it.

Q. What do you call a guy who goes to a zombie gala?
A. The life of the party!

Q. Why did the zombie fail the math test?
A. It was a real no-brainer.

Q. Who always wins at zombie auctions?
A. The highest biter!

Zombies and gnomes might strike up a truce. That's a really scary thought.

Q. Why did the zombie only date highly intelligent women?
A. He just loved women with brains!

Q. What is a zombie's favorite bean?
A. A human bean.

Q. Which day of the week do zombies live for?
A. Fray Day.

Did you hear about the new zombie dating service? It's called: Dying to Meat You!

Q. What did the zombie rapper have in common with the politician?
A. Both spit out incomprehensible bullshit!

Q. Where is the safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse?
A. Washington, DC. There are no brains there!

Q. What do zombie tomatoes say when they knock on your door?
A. Lettuce in!

Q. What do you call disabled people during the zombie apocalypse?
A. Meals on wheels.

A Zombie Book Never Written:
All That's Left of Me by Myra Maines

Q. What kind of appetizers do zombies like at parties?
A. Finger foods

Q. What game do kid zombies play?
A. Corpse and Grave Robbers!

Q. What do you call zombies that can't run?
A. The Walking Dead!

Q. What do you call a bunch of zombies standing in a row outside your office?
A. A deadline.

Q. Where do zombie chickens attack in south London?
A. Peckham.

Q. What do you call a zombie who writes music?
A. A decomposer.

Q. What do rock zombies call the guy who gets the group out of PR scrapes?
A. A Band-Aide.

Q. Why was the zombie conductor late to the haunted house concert?
A. He drove over something sharp and got a flat tire.

| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |

| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |

| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Daily Jokes | Old Never Die Jokes | Chilling Winter Humor |


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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Jokes | Shrink Humor | Sports Puns | Superhero Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weed Jokes |

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Edible Puns, Fun with Food Monstrously Funny Puns Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

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