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Painful Puns & Jokes That Grow On You
Plant a bumper crop of garden memes, green humor, and corny plant jokes!

Flora-ble Puns, Garden Jokes, Green Riddles
(Because Healthy Homegrown Humor Could Never Become Too Mainstream)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. You never know what lurks in the bushes or weed.
Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

Q. What is a three-season bed? A. One without a spring.What do you get if you cross a bullet with a leafless tree? A Cartridge In A Bare TreePot Smoking Gnome Pick-Up Line: If I had a garden, I'd put my tulips and your two lips together.

Q.  Why did the potatoes get a divorce?
A.  Because they couldn't see eye to eye.

When vegetables want to converse with petunias, they use a cell phone and cauliflower.

Q. What do you call a stoner when horny?
A. A weed wacker!

Q. What Do You Get If You Cross a Donkey with an Owl? A. A Smart Ass That Knows It All!Dockyard: A Physician's Garden.What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic? Iceberg

Q. Why do potatoes make good detectives?
A. Because they keep their eyes peeled.

Q. Why didn't anyone laugh at the gardener's jokes?
A. They were too corny.

Q. What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by the diameter?
A. Pumpkin Pi.

Q. Why did the blonde throw butter out the window? A. She wanted to see butterfly.Old Horticulturists Never Die, They Just Go to PotQ. What do you call fruit that commits egregious crimes? A. A Water-Felon

Q. What does the letter "A" have in common with a flower?
Q. They both have bees coming after them.

Q. What do you call a potato that smokes weed?
A. A baked potato.

Q. What do you get when you mix a relative and a fruit?
A. A Granny Smith.

What kind of flowers do you give to King Tut? Chrysanthemummies.Q. How are a counterfeit coin and a crazy rabbit alike? A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.Gnome & Toad with Pot Leaves: Gnome Grown

When the plant couldn't absorb water properly, it sought a xylem.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog with a daisy?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. What does a mermaid smoke?
A. Seaweed.

Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

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ou've lasted this far, so here's even more growing laughter,
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