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Q. What does a cabbage outlaw have? A. A price on its head!

 


Gardener Jokes, Growner Puns, Gardening Humor
Harvest a bushel full of garden jokes, a peck of laughs, gardening humor and lawn-ly puns.

Garden Jokes, Homegrown Humor, Potted Puns
(Because Funny Organic Jokes Could Never Be Too Mainstream for Gardeners Who Dig Puns!)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. Weed wacker jokes, seedy puns, and green grown-ers ahead.
| Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes | Weed Jokes |

Q. What is a three-season bed? A. One without a spring.What do you get if you cross a bullet with a leafless tree? A Cartridge In A Bare TreePot Smoking Gnome Pick-Up Line: If I had a garden, I'd put my tulips and your two lips together.

Q.  Why did the potatoes get a divorce?
A.  Because they couldn't see eye to eye.

Q. Which garden veggie could tie your stomach in knots?
A. String Beans!

When garden vegetables want to converse with petunias, they use a cell phone and cauliflower.

Lawn care book never written: Make a Wish on Your Lawn by Dan D. Lyon

Q. What do you call a horny stoner?
A. A weed wacker!

Q. Where do garden veggies go to have a few drinks?
A. The salad bar.

Q. What Do You Get If You Cross a Donkey with an Owl? A. A Smart Ass That Knows It All!Dockyard: A Physician's Garden.What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic? Iceberg

Q. Why do potatoes make good detectives?
A. Because they keep their eyes peeled.

Q. What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by the diameter?
A. Pumpkin Pi.

Q. Why didn't anyone laugh at the gardener's jokes?
A. They were too corny.

Healthy Green Thought of the Day: Gardening is cheaper than therapy, plus you get tomatoes!

Green pick-up line: I dig gardeners!

Murderously Funny Gardener's Words of Wisdom: New backyard landscaping projects are great places to hide bodies.

Q. Why did the blonde throw butter out the window? A. She wanted to see butterfly.Old Horticulturists Never Die, They Just Go to PotQ. What do you call fruit that commits egregious crimes? A. A Water-Felon

Q. What does the letter "A" have in common with a flower?
Q. They both have bees coming after them.

Even blondes know this garden factoid: The grass is always greener where you water it!

Q. What do you call a potato that smokes weed?
A. A baked potato.

Q. Why did the old grower garden in the nude?
A. Because that's cheaper than a scarecrow!

Q. What do you get when you mix an older relative and a fruit?
A. A Granny Smith.

Garden patch pick-up line: I love you from my head tomatoes.

What kind of flowers do you give to King Tut? Chrysanthemummies.Q. How are a counterfeit coin and a crazy rabbit alike? A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.Gnome & Toad with Pot Leaves: Gnome Grown

When the garden plant couldn't absorb water properly, it sought a xylem.

Garden Wiz-Dumb: Bloom where you are planted!

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog with a garden daisy?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. What does a gardener call peas and carrots that don't want to be together?
A. Steamed veggies.

Q. What does a mermaid smoke?
A. Seaweed.

Green Gardener's Marriage Vows: Do you, Gardener, take this Garden, to weed from this day forth?

| Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes | Weed Jokes |

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ou've lasted this far, so here's even more growing laughter,
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