Q. What kind of socks does a gardener wear? A. Garden Hose!   PainfulPuns.com - Garden Puns, Green Jokes, Grow Groans!

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Funny Gardening Jokes That'll Grow On You
Pick through a wagon load of funny garden jokes, green humor, and thyme-ly plant puns.

Garden Jokes, Flora-ble Puns, Garden Humor
(Because Homegrown Humor Could Never Be Too Mainstream for Pansies, Melon Heads, or Collie Flowers)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. Gardener jokes, growing groans, and tree-mendous puns ahead.
| Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes | Weed Jokes |

What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy? A Rash of Good LuckOld Farmers Never Die, They Just Go To Weed. A guy drove his expensive car into a tree, and found out how the Mercedes Bends.

Q. Why did the gardener leave the store without a new shovel?
A. Because he didn't have enough cabbage.

Q. Which garden patch fruit likes to go swimming?
A. Watermelon!

Q. How well will your garden grow?
A. ...Only thyme will tell.

Giant Green Gardener's Wisdom: Growing your own veggie garden will bring peas on earth!

Q.  Why did Jonathan go to jail?
A.  He was a rotten apple!

Q. What did the tree say to the math teacher?
A. Gee, I'm a Tree!

Gnomes with Pot Leaves: Do You Live in a Corn Field? 'Cause I'm Stalking YouWild Animal Pun: Old owls never die, they just don't give a hoot!Q. What is green and goes to summer camp? A Brussels Scout

How to grow your own dope: Plant a man!

Q. What do weed cheerleaders say to cheer on their garden crop?
A. We're rooting for you!

Bean thinking how up-beet I am from all the peas and love in the world.

Q. Which kind of bean won't grow in the garden?
A. A Jelly Bean!

Botanists have developed a vegetable that eliminates the need to brush your teeth: Bristle Sprouts.

Q. Why is Yoda such a great gardener?
A. He has a green thumb.

Gnome Grown Means Gnoming GreenA Plateau is a High Form of FlatteryQ. What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon? A. Pork Rinds!

If only I could grow green stuff in my garden, like I can in my refrigerator.

Q. What do garden veggies say to begin their weekend partying?
A. Lettuce Turnip the Beet!

Q. What do healthy plants say to encourage a weary gardener?
A. I be-leaf in you!

The recent windstorm through the trees was an absolute de-barkle.

A watermelon walks into a bar.
Bartender asks, "What'll it be?"
Watermelon replies: "A rum and cuke please."

Gardener pick-up line: Are you a garden, 'cause I really dig you!

Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner.Garden Gnome, having a bad hair day!Q. What do you get if you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? A. Hot Cross Bunnies

Does a Bok bring you Choy? Then Lettuce all smile.

Green gardening wisdom: Always compost, because I rind is a terrible thing to waste!

Q. Why did the cabbage win the race?
A. Because it was ahead!

Gardener's Wisdom: Compost is proof there IS life after death!

Q. What insect is musical?
A. A humbug.

Q. How does a gardener know that his veggies are on his side?
A. They're always rooting for him!

| Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes | Weed Jokes |

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ou've lasted this far, so here's even more growing laughter,
flowery humor, and painful puns that'll fertilize your garden:

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