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Painful Puns & Jokes That Grow On You
Plant a bumper crop of garden memes, green humor, and corny plant jokes!

Flora-ble Puns, Garden Jokes, Green Riddles
(Because Healthy Homegrown Humor Could Never Become Too Mainstream)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. You never know what lurks in the bushes or weed.
Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy? A Rash of Good LuckOld Farmers Never Die, They Just Go To Weed. A guy drove his expensive car into a tree, and found out how the Mercedes Bends.

Q. Why did the gardener leave the store without a new shovel?
A. Because he didn't have enough cabbage.

Q. How well will your garden grow?
A. ...Only thyme will tell.

Q.  Why did the Golden Delicious go to jail?
A.  He was a rotten apple.

Gnomes with Pot Leaves: Do You Live in a Corn Field? 'Cause I'm Stalking YouWild Animal Pun: Old owls never die, they just don't give a hoot!Q. What is green and goes to summer camp? A Brussels Scout

Grow your own dope, plant a man.

Bean thinking how up-beet I am from all the peas and love in the world.

Botanists have developed a vegetable that eliminates the need to brush your teeth: Bristle Sprouts.

Gnome Grown Means Gnoming GreenA Plateau is a High Form of FlatteryQ. What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon? A. Pork Rinds!

If only I could grow green stuff in my garden, like I can in my refrigerator.

The recent windstorm through the trees was an absolute de-barkle.

A watermelon walks into a bar.
Bartender asks, "What'll it be?"
Watermelon replies: "A rum and cuke please."

Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner.Garden Gnome, having a bad hair day!Q. What do you get if you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? A. Hot Cross Bunnies

Does a Bok bring you Choy? Then Lettuce all smile.

Q. Why did the cabbage win the race?
A. Because it was ahead!  

Q. What insect is musical?
A. A humbug.

Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

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ou've lasted this far, so here's even more growing laughter,
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