| Q.
If H2O is the fomula for water, what is the formula for
ice?
A. H2O cubed.
Q.
If H2O is water, then what is H2O4?
A. Drinking, bathing, swimming, irrigation, boating, surfing...
Q.
Why didn't the student ever drink water while studying chemistry?
A. Because water decreases concentration!
Q.
Why do chemistry profs like teaching about ammonia?
A. Because it's basic material.
Q.
How can you remember the periodic table symbols for silver
and gold?
A. If somebody tries to steal you silver, you say, "A
G, I lost my silver." But if someone tries to
take your gold you'd say, "A U, gimme back
my gold!"
Old
chemistry teachers never die, they just fail to react. |
Q.
What is the difference between a chemist and an alchemist?
A. Aluminum.
Q.
Why shouldn't people hate chemistry?
A. Because half-lifes matter, too.
Q.
What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A. Never lick the spoon!
Q.
How did the chemist survive the famine?
A. By subsisting on titrations.
Q.
Why should you never ask a chemist for a PB and J sandwich?
A. 'Cause you'll get lead poisoning.
Q.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
A. You barium.
Q.
Why did the retired perfume chemist end up in the mental
hospital?
A. 'Cause he stopped making scents.
|
Q.
Why is Titanium is the most amorous metal?
A. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.
Silver
walks up to gold in a bar and says, "AU, get otta here!"
Q.
How did the scientist know the chemistry was gone from his
relationship?
A. His wife couldn't get Prozac anymore, and he ran out
of Viagra.
Q.
Why was the chronic LSD user fired from his job at the chemistry
lab?
A. 'Cause he kept dropping acid.
Q.
Which instrument did the chemist play in the band?
A. Base guitar.
We'd
like to apologize for not adding more chemistry jokes recently,
but we only update them periodically. |
