Q. Where did the sun go to become so bright?
A. The University!

Q. Why did the astronaut wear a bulletproof vest?
A. To protect himself from shooting stars.

Q. Why wouldn't the moon go to the sun's funeral?
A. Because it's not a mourning person.

Q. What did the moon say to the sun?
A. You are smokin' hot!

Q. Why is the moon more useful than the sun?
A. 'Cause we really need the light at night!

Loki Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, if I had a star for every time you've brightened my day, I'd have my Milky Way with you.

Q. Why did the sun only pack one hat for vacation?
A. Because it was traveling light!

Q. Why did the Sun smile on Sunday?
A. It saw the back side of the moon.

Q. How is bread like the sun?
A. It rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist.

Today's Con-Sol-ing Thought: Living on Earth might be expensive, but at least you get a free trip around the sun every year.

Q. Why did the astronaut take a broom into space?
A. To clean up the stardust.

Q. Which music do astronauts listen to in the Terran star system?
A. Neptunes.

Q. Why don't more aliens visit our planet?
A. Terrible ratings – only one star!

Q. Why didn't the Dog Star laugh at the last joke?
A. Because it was too Sirius.

Q. What did the Big Dipper win in the star competition?
A. A constellation prize.

Q. What holds the sun up in the sky?
A. Sun beams.

Planetary Point to Ponder: If Earth is the third planet from the sun, then isn't every nation here a third-world country?

Q. Which classic sci-fi TV sitcom do aliens from the fourth rock from the sun binge watch?
A. My Favorite Martian.

Q. What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon?
A. The apocaclipse.

Q. What did the astronomer say when his son asked how stars die?
A. Usually an overdose.

Q. Which kind of stars wear sunglasses?
A. Movie stars.

Q. Why did the space police arrest the star?
A. 'Cause it was a shooting star.

Q. Why can't astronomers find humor in the movement of stars and planets?
A. 'Cause the real jokes are in the comets!

Q. What do boobs and the sun have in common?
A. You can look at them longer if you're wearing sunglasses!

Q. What do raindrops get if they go to an event that is canceled due to weather?
A. A sun check.

Q. Why do we get such a warm feeling on Sundays?
A. Because the core of the sun is about 27,000,000º Fahrenheit.

Q. What kind of flowers grow in outer space?
A. Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.

Q. What is a vampire's least favorite USA city?
A. Philadelphia, because it's always sunny there.

Q. When do vampires need to be sure to use sun block?
A. During a full moon!

Q. What's heavier? A galaxy, mars, earth, or the sun?
A. The Earth. Galaxy and Mars are candy bars, and the Sun is a newspaper!

Q. Why are Saturn and Neptune considered the butt cheeks of the solar system?
A. 'Cause Uranus is between them.

Q. What do the sun and a stripper have in common?
A. Both circle the pole.

Q. Why is Venus named after the Roman goddess of beauty?
A. Because it's the hottest planet in the solar system!

Q. Why do we get such a warm feeling on Sundays?
A. Because the surface of the sun is about 10,000º Fahrenheit.

Q. Why did the sun go to high school?
A. To get even brighter.

Q. Where do galaxies, stars, and comets go to study?
A. The University!

Q. Why didn't the sun go to college?
A. It already has a million degrees!

Q. Why did the gardener have to wear sunglasses?
A. Because she grew sunflowers!

Q. Which brand of underwear does the sun wear?
A. Kelvin Kline.

Silly Solar System Point to Ponder: If boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider, then do girls go to Venus for more penis?

Q. What did the sun say to the moon?
A. It looks like it's my night off.

Q. Why did the blonde think it was Sunday?
A. Duh, because the sun is out!

Q. Why is Sunday always so happy?
A. Because Sol always looks on the bright side of things.

Sunday Pick-Up Line: Hi there hottie, is your name Sol? 'Cause you really could be my mate!

Fun in the Sun Come-On: Hey girl, is your name Sunny? 'Cause you just lit up my day.

Hotter Than the Sun Pick-Up Line: Hi girl, Is your name Sunday? 'Cause you light up my life.

Sunlit Sunday Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Helios? 'Cause you sure have one hot body!

Q. Which cosmic currency is accepted at the Mars Bar?
A. Starbucks.

Q. How do spacemen pass the time while traveling long distances across the solar system?
A. You guessed it: They Plan-et!

Q. Why do electrical linemen always use sun block?
A. It's a solar insulator.

Q. What did the pig say while on his sunny beach vacation?
A. I am bacon!

Q. Why do we get such a warm feeling on Sundays?
A. Because the surface of the sun is about 5,600º Celsius.

Q. Why did Tom, Dick, and Harry cross the road on that third rock from the sun?
A. To see the big giant head on the other side.

Q. Why wasn't sunbathing a sport in ancient Greece?
A. 'Cause the best you could get is a bronze.

Q. What are powerful solar rays that cause people to fight each other called?
A. Ultra-violent light.

Hot Thought of the Day: It's one of billions in our galaxy, but to Earthlings, our sun is the superstar.

Sunday Point to Ponder: If Sunday is a girl, why is her name Sol?

Thor Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, did you know lightning is a million times hotter than the sun?

Sunday Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Sunne? 'Cause you sure have a heavenly body!

Q. Where do planets and their moons go to study the sun and the solar system?
A. The University!

Q. What is a necessary nuclear explosion called?
A. The Sun.

Solar Power Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, did the sun just come out, or did you just wink at me?

Q. Which planetary body has the most loose change in our solar system?
A. Luna keeps changing quarters.

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