Q. Why did the scientist go to a tanning salon?
A. Because he was a paleontologist.

Scientists have been studying the effects of cannabis on sea birds. They've left no tern unstoned.

Q. What did the chemist say when he escaped the police?
A. Cu later, Copper!

Q. What happens when old anthropologists die?
A. They become another piece of history.

Did you hear about the man who got cooled down to absolute zero? He's 0K now...

Q. What did the conservative biologist say?
A. The only cleavage I want to see is at the cellular level.

Q. How often do you come across really funny chemistry jokes?
A. Only periodically.

Q. What did ancient alchemists call the Norse god who starting writing epic tales after being struck by lightning?
A. AU Thor.

Q. What does a subatomic duck say?
A. Quark!

Q. Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A. Because it's in the ground state.

There are two types of people in the world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data...

Q. How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None! They're trying to study dark matter and dark energy fascinates them!

Q. What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
A. Sea Water.

Q. What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
A. The Ether Bunny.

Q. Why did the physicist and chemist refuse to hang out with the biologist?
A. 'Cause he had bio breath.

Scientific Pick-Up Line: I wish I was adenine because then I could get paired with U.

Did you hear that geological scientists have invented a new kind of elastic made out of stone? Surely this new rock band will make it big!

Ironic Physics Point to Ponder: Why is being a physicist still considered uncool, when thermodynamic entropy is getting cooler all the time?

Did you hear about the microbiologist who visited 25 different countries and spoke 7 languages? He is a man of many cultures.

Q. Why do scientists call Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements?
A. 'Cause if you can't helium or curium, you barium.

Q. What is a physicist's favorite dinosaur?
A. Velocity Raptor.

Q. Why did the chemist concoct a laughing gas that also works as a laxative?
A. Just for shits and grins!

Q. How can you tell the difference between a biologist and a chemist in the rest room?
A. The biologist washes his hands afterward, but the chemist washes his hands first.

Q. How did the scientist get his girlfriend in the mood for sex?
A. With two test tickles.

Q. Why is electricity an ideal citizen?
A. Because it conducts itself so well!

Q. What did the bored scientists do after watching Earth spin for 24 hours?
A. They called it a day!

Q. Do you know the name, Pavlov?
A. Yes, it rings a bell.

Q. What did the chemist say when a nosy coworker asked too many personal questions?
A. None of your Bismuth!

Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Poly, Ethel, and Ian.

A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician go hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5' to the left. The chemist took a shot and misses 5' to the right. The statistician shouts, "We got 'em!"

Q. Why should you never ask a chemist for a PB and J sandwich?
A. 'Cause you'll get lead poisoning.

Q. What happened when scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person's stride?
A. The results were staggering.

Q. Why did the physicist and biologist refuse to hang out with the paleontologist?
A. 'Cause he had bad bones.

Q. Why don't physicists and Bingo players get along?
A. They disagree on the application and existence of a free space.

Q. What do you get if you combine sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A. SWAG.

Smart Factoid of the Day: Physicists are the only scientists that matter, but mathematicians are the only ones that count.

Q. What did scientists name the newly discovered dinosaur that is thought to have been highly intelligent?
A. Thesauraus.

Did you hear about the elderly scientist who discovered an effective Alzheimer's vaccine? Unfortunately, he forgot the formula.

Q. Why didn't the chemist ever tell jokes?
A. He was afraid he wouldn't get a good reaction.

Science Lab Head-Scratcher of the Day: If the clone has no hair, does that make it a wool-free sheep's cloning?

Q. What does a chemist's laboratory retriever do with his bones?
A. Barium.

Q. What did scientists get when they crossed a chicken and a golden retriever?
A. A fowl bitch.

Did you hear that scientists have successfully grown a full set of vocal chords in the lab? The results speak for themself.

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